Ask Janice

Six Steps for a HOT Valentine’s Day Date

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I know I am generalizing when I say this, but women and Hallmark make a bigger deal out of Valentine’s Day than is totally necessary.  I know it’s not politically correct to say this, but we women put way too much pressure on ourselves and our partners to have a perfectly romantic Valentine’s Day. We start dropping hints to him about what gifts we want before he even pays off the Christmas gift he got us.

We never have the kind of Valentine’s Day we dream about; the kind you see in the romantic comedies that Hollywood still churns out year after year.  And if we keep on striving for that perfect moment like we see in the movies, we will continue to be disappointed year after year.

So instead of going for romance, I say we go for HOT!  Instead of trying to recreate that sappy last scene in “Sleepless in Seattle” with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan (or for our younger readers, any scene between Edward and Bella in the Twilight series), we should strive to make our Valentine’s dates more like the movie “9 and ½ Weeks” (or for our younger readers, any scene between any two cast members of “Jersey Shore”, but not as trashy and without all the drinking).

So, I’ve come up with some tips to get both you AND him excited about Valentine’s Day.  Here they are:

    1. Plan the date early. I know this keeps us in cahoots with Hallmark, but this really will help.  You see, you both need to be on the same page about what your (and his) expectations are for the big day.  This will minimize disappointment and hurt feelings.  For example, this year, Valentine’s Day falls on a Monday.  Will you celebrate that Saturday?  That Sunday?  Or on the actual day?  After all, you don’t want to get all gussied up to go to dinner on Saturday and he plans to spend the evening in sweats watching ESPN.  So talk this through ahead of time.  Agree to a specific date ahead of time, write it on the calendar, put it in his iPhone and stick to it.
    2. Forgo gifts.Even as I typed this one, I could hear some of you screaming “NOOOOOO!”  When you get right down to it, we’re only two months away from Christmas, money is a little tight and flowers die.  Unless you know he’s going to propose with a diamond, neither of you need any more presents.  So, agree to and enforce a “no gift” policy this year.  Instead, you can:
    3. Send “love” (read “lust”) notes to each other! Beginning the week before your date, send at least one note a day to each other.  It has to be hot, though.  No, don’t send any nude pix of yourself via your cell phone. We’re going for hot, not raunchy.  And, for God’s sake, if you have kids, don’t leave them where they can find them!  But if you live together, leave a note on his pillow telling him how sexy he looked earlier that day.  Or, if you use electronic media, send a message that says you can’t wait to see him next week for your date and put a little wink sign with it.  In other words, keep it R rated (well, PG-13, actually).  The idea is to just start building a little anticipation for what’s to come.
    4. Plan to GET NASTY.  Pull out your old bag of tricks and plan to use them all on that day!!  You know that thing you only let him do on special occasions?  Let him do it!  More important, starting the week before the date, TELL him you’re going to let him do it (or you’re going to do it to him or whatever).  Again, you want to build excitement here.  You want him thinking naughty thoughts about you throughout the week at random times.  You want him to be in the idle of a task at work and then suddenly remember what you’ve promised and … react!
    5. Wear something awesome! I know a lot guys say we look our best with nothing on, but there has to be an outfit of yours that gets his blood flowing a little bit more than the others.  If not, wear something that makes YOU feel sexy.  Because the better you feel about how you look, the more fun you’ll have!
    6. Focus only on each other. If you have to pay a sitter, then do it.  If the only way you can be alone is to get a room, then get one.  The whole point of the build-up, the clothes, the notes is so that for one day, one stupid, Hallmark day, you can put the rest of the world aside and focus just on each other.

Have fun!