The Donald was exposed – yet again – as a nasty man on the Billy Bush video when he was caught engaging in what he called “locker-room” talk about grabbing women’s privates. Men – especially athletes – came running out to announce they never engage in such dirty talk (especially about sexual assault) – even in the locker room. But, ladies, I’m here to tell you that this type of talk happens all the time – between men, and yes with women, too. Let’s not be so self-righteous. Men do brag about what they have done (consensually) or what they would like to do with a woman or think they can get away with. And, it can get graphic. And funny.
Ladies, I confess I’ve chuckled along with a few men who’ve confided in me what they’d like to do with various women. I remember a guy friend in grad school sharing with me his views on which women he thought were easy and which ones he thought would never “put out.” He said one woman “looks like she could take on a whole football team.” Barely over 20 and inexperienced, I thought about this comment and found it hilarious. The woman had swagger and bravado. I didn’t know what a woman “who could take on a whole football team,” looked like. But, I thought it would definitely be her with her “devil-may-care,” ultra confident and ambitious, ultra sexy look. She could do one man after the other and still want more. My friend and I laughed about this for months. My feminist self felt ashamed about laughing but my carefree self said, “This is all in fun. It’s just a joke shared between two friends.” Besides, although the man obviously had sexist views about women – he was hot!. And, I thought he was flirting with me. (Not.) I liked the attention.
Looking back on this, I think it’s too bad I didn’t have the confidence this woman had. I’m sure her confidence took her far. (She’s probably doing more than writing SuzyKnew!)
And, I wonder what happened to my guy friend. I ask friends about him but no one has seen him. Was he able to find true love or did his insecurity and limited view of women prevent him from forming a deep relationship? Is he sitting at home thinking about all the “locker-room” talk he’s engaged in, including our conversations, feeling embarrassed about sounding like Donald Trump? Does he realize that like The Donald, he, too, may lack the temperament to be president of the United States?
He’s not alone, and we women are a part of the conversation.