Author Archives: SuzyKnew!

About SuzyKnew!

SuzyKnew! is dedicated to improving the sexual and reproductive health and sexual pleasure of women of color.

Introducing Sex Toys? ASK A SEX THERAPIST

How can I bring up the idea of using sex toys with my partner?

It’s important to extend empathy to your partner, understanding that hearing your partner wants to incorporate sex toys may be a blow to their ego. However, if you focus on what you already enjoy about your joint sexual experiences and introduce the idea as a way to enhance something you already find fulfilling, it may be more reassuring. Explain that sex toys are not a substitute for emotional intimacy, but an opportunity to explore different sensations that you both may enjoy.

What can I say/do if my partner feels threatened by incorporating sex toys into our sex life (like they think it means they’re not doing a good job or can’t give me what I need/want)?

A common fear some have is that sex toys will replace them or that their partner is only interested in sex toys because they’re not sexually fulfilled. However, you can have an open and honest conversation with your partner about exploring different sensations and how incorporating toys isn’t seeking to replace them, but enhance your sexual experiences.

Read more articles by ASK A SEX THERAPIST – “Prince: Christian and Sex Positive,”  “To Grapefruit Or Not To Grapefruit” “What Does ‘Formation’ Say About Black Women’s Sex Lives?”

De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson is a licensed clinical social worker and sex therapist in private practice at Sankofa Sex Therapy, LLC. She’s on the Executive Board of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network and has been featured as a sexpert on Ebony.com, Shape.com, and WomensHealthMag.com. She recently appeared in “Antigone” a play about the events in Ferguson, MO. Check out her YouTube show, Ask A Sex Therapist, where she answers your questions related to sex and sexuality and visit her website, SankofaSexTherapy.com

“Biblical” Advice For Sistas’

SuzyKnew!

A piece of “Biblical” advice that has been circulating around the web for a while but worth reflecting on… 

To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of Biblical advice: “Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz.” While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don’t settle for any of his relatives: Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheating-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothingaz, Lazyaz, and especially his third cousin Beatinyoaz. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz.” -unknown

How Many Black Women Are Among Jeffrey Epstein’s Accusers?

Ladies,  Jeffrey is dead and we’re all thinking conspiracy (as in did the Administration do away with the guy…?) But, let’s step back and ask ourselves: How many Black women are among Jeffrey Epstein’s accusers?  As Black women and/or women of color we want to know how many of “us” got caught up in all of this. How many…?

None.

As far as SuzyKnew! knows there have been no Black women who have come forward to accuse Jeffery Epstein of sexual assault or inappropriate behavior.

Why?  Because Epstein didn’t date Black women.

That’s right. Jeffrey didn’t do Black women.

Virginia Roberts, one of Jeffrey Epstein’s accusers, told her lawyers, ” There was a constant influx of girls coming in and going out. And we were all very young… Young, pretty, you know a fun personality. {But,} they couldn’t be Black…”

Jeffrey didn’t appreciate Black beauty.  Virginia goes on to explain that Epstein would date non-white women, who were exotic and pretty. They just couldn’t be Black.

How many of us have encountered men like Epstein on dating sites? Men that are open to dating every type of women, even women who are old enough to be their grandmothers as long as they’re not Black?

It’s a slap in the face. An insult.

But, we have to acknowledge that sometimes this ugly truth – that there are many men out there who do not want to date Black women – protects us. Sistas’ have escaped being abused and ravaged by Epstein.

Ironic, right?

Of course, only time will tell. As more and more women feel confident to come forward to testify what Epstein did to them, following his death, maybe there will be a Black woman among them.

We’ll see.

Ladies, keep it sexy… and

Keep it healthy!

SuzyKnew!

Photo courtesy: Daily Beast and Axios

 

African Men May Have Higher Sperm Counts Than African-American Men

Ladies – have you been reading about all this low sperm count that men around the world have been experiencing?

Ladies – have you been reading about all this low sperm count that men around the world have been experiencing? Or rather men in the U.S., Europe, Australia and New Zealand?

Over the last 40 years sperm counts in these regions of the world have been dropping by close to 60%,  according to an article that appeared in Scientific American a few years ago. More importantly, the decline in sperm count is not slowing, and it is unclear what it is causing it.  Causes of the decline were not a part of the study but declining sperm counts have been attributed to exposure to certain chemicals and pesticides, smoking, stress and obesity.

This study, which was a meta-analysis of several articles, stated that this same decline was not found among African men. This would mean that African men may have a higher sperm count than African-American men.  Until recently, not enough studies had been completed among African men. Two years ago, a meta analysis of country-level sperm count studies among African men came out showing that there has been a 73% decline in sperm concentration among African men.  However, the study included less than ten countries and only were two sub-Saharan countries (Nigeria and Tanzania). Sample sizes were relatively small. But, obviously, sperm count has been occurring to a certain degree among African men over the last several decades as well.

So, do African men have stronger sperm count and concentration than African-American men? There aren’t any studies directly comparing sperm count and concentration among African and African-American men.

Ladies – we need more research that take our people’s health into consideration. Anyone searching for a research topic?

 

 

 

Show Me The Faith!

Ladies, sometimes it’s hard to wait for our dreams to come true. It’s hard to wait for God to hear our prayers, give us direction and work the magic.

We have so many hopes and irons in the fire.  We want guidance on big and tough decisions even if we know God may lead us in another direction.

If you live in Detroit or plan on visiting this weekend, be sure to attend a free visioning board workshop this Saturday at St. John’s Presbyterian church. St. John’s is located in the heart of Detroit at 1961 E Lafayette Blvd.

Ladies, learn to wait for God!

Fertility Friday: Can Women Ovulate More Than Once Per Cycle? Or While They’re Pregnant?

Today, we share Fertility Friday’s podcast episode on how many times a woman can ovulate per cycle and if women can ovulate while they’re pregnant.  Lisa Hendrickson-Jack addresses one of the most prevalent myths about the menstrual cycle. In today’s episode she lays these myths to rest and sets the record straight once and for all!

Click here to read more and listen.

Fertility Friday: Are Men 100% Responsible For Unplanned Pregnancies?

Today, we share Fertility Friday’s podcast “Should Men Be Equally Responsible For Birth Control?” Founder Lisa Hendrickson-Jack discusses a controversial article that came out recently suggesting that men are 100% responsible for all unplanned/unwanted pregnancies. Should men be responsible for birth control or should the responsibility fall on us? Tune in to find out Lisa’s take on it!

Click here

Fertility Friday: Surrogacy And Egg Donation

Today, we share Fertility Friday’s podcast on surrogacy and egg donation. Hostess Lisa Hendrickson-Jack talks to Eloise Drane. Ms. Drane is the founder of Family Inceptions — a “boutique style” family planning agency specializing in surrogacy and egg donation. She developed the Surrogacy Roadmap, a digital online platform teaching potential parents how to complete a successful surrogacy journey without paying agency cost— she considers it more than a business, but rather, a calling..

Click here to go to the page and access this unique podcast developed by a Sista’ addressing infertility issues.

 

What Is Pride Month? By ARHSG

Picture courtesy of IN Magazine

Since I was a kid, the rainbow-colored flags flowing in the streets during the month of June in New York City and other major cities always made me curious.  Gradually, I learned that all these marches, parades and picnics are hosted for a single reason: Pride.

Picture courtesy of Miami New Times

Pride commemorates the June 1969 Stonewall Raids and is a celebration of the global Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and related communities (LGBT+) by the global LGBT+ community and its allies.

While the LGBT+ community is not visibly present in some countries, it is becoming more and more visible in the United States, and other countries hosting pride events, from Norway to Japan. From the national level to the local level, Pride is doing what it was intended to do: to paint a different picture of the LGBT+ community and to increase the community’s visibility as its own distinct social group.

Image result for california pride state capitol
Picture courtesy of CBS News

In fact, this year, in commemoration of Pride, the Governor of California, Gavin Newsom, announced that California would fly the famous rainbow-colored flag, a symbol of LGBT+ pride, over the State Capitol of California. According to Newsom, “By flying the pride flag over the State Capitol, we send a clear message that California is welcoming and inclusive to all, regardless of how you identify or who you love.”

However, despite Newsom’s message of inclusion, some members of the Black LGBT+ community feel that Pride events can be, as the headline of a Guardian article says, “Too straight, white and corporate.” In the Guardian article, journalist Sam Levin follows self-identified queer (queer meaning people who identify with a sexual identity outside the societal norm) people of color at a San Francisco Pride Parade after the Orlando Nightclub Shooting in June 2016. For many of his interviewees, who are racial minorities and low-income queer people, the events at Pride seem to be dominated by corporations and white people. According to David J. Johns, Director of the National Black Justice Coalition, in a CNN article, “Pride month, to be clear, is an extension of Black History Month.”

Image result for black pride
Picture courtesy of San Diego Pride

This perception that Pride events do not always include the black LGBT+ community has not only been a problem in San Francisco. In 2017, NBC News similarly covered developments at the Atlanta Pride in Georgia, in which LGBT+ people of color described feeling that Pride events focused more so on the white community, spurring Jamie Green-Ferguson, the executive director of Atlanta Pride, to say in a published message that “Atlanta Pride, contrary to popular belief, is not a white LGBTQ organization.”

Image result for black pride
Picture courtesy of UK Black Pride

Still, Kenneth Roth, Executive Director of the Human Rights Watch, says, “There’s been enormous progress globally and locally.”

So, if you were curious about Pride Month and its significance, here’s your debrief. Still interested? More resources are available online, and many Pride events have advertisements on Facebook. And if you are particularly interested in learning more about the black queer movement, CNN posted an interesting article on seven important black LGBT+ leaders in honor of Juneteenth, the day slavery was abolished, and Pride Month.

ARHSG (A Recent High School Graduate), as the name suggests, just recently graduated from high school in New Jersey, and is currently interning at SuzyKnew! ARHSG will give you opinions on life and relationships, especially as it pertains to youth.

For Heavy Women, The Copper IUD Is More Effective Than “The Morning After Pill” To Avoid Pregnancy

Ladies- we know that a toss in the hay without a condom or other protection doesn’t mean a lady has to end up pregnant.   And many of us know that Ella, the emergency contraceptive pill effective for up to 5 days, is better for us curvy women than the regular ‘Morning After Pill.”  Pills like Norlevo, Plan B, PostinorTake Action, etc are levonorgestrel-based  and most effective only during the first 72 hours after unprotected sex.  They have also been proven less effective among women with a high body mass index (BMI).

The first dedicated “Morning After Pill” or emergency contraceptive was based on the hormone levenorgestrel.  Then a new pill made with ulipristal acetate, 30 mg or UPA named Ella came out with two key benefits: it was effective up to 5 days after unprotected sex,  and it was also thought to be more effective for women with a higher BMI.

For more SuzyKnew! articles on emergency contraception click here and here.

Now UK government guidelines state that both levonorgestrel and UPA-based emergency contraceptive pills are not good choices for overweight women to avoid pregnancy.  The guidelines state the copper IUD is the method that is the most effective option for overweight and obese women who want to avoid pregnancy after unprotected sex.  Although many healthcare providers and women remain unfamiliar with the copper IUD, it has long been documented as the best option for emergency contraception. But, until now, it was not clear that even the new Morning After Pill or Ella is not as effective as once believed for women with high BMI.

Ladies, let’s make sure we chose the options that are made for us and best us.