Every year around December 27th, you will start to see all those “new year, new me” Facebook Statuses and Tweets. A lot of people regard the approaching New Year as an opportunity to plan and implement goals, and rightfully so. A new year brings great energy and a chance step out and improve different aspects of your life. The excitement of this time can provide you with additional motivation to tackle challenges you’ve been facing. Most New Year’s resolutions deal with losing weight, traveling more, or quitting smoking. Whether you decide to be more proactive with time management or finally put that gym membership to use, the first of the year can provide that extra nudge to get’er done. But when is the last time you decided to make your sexuality the focal point of your goals?
In setting goals, remember that your sexuality is an integral part of who you are as a whole person. Yes, working out is important, but remember to think of ways to enhance your sex life throughout the year. Just as you would plan any other resolution, think of things you want to accomplish sexually. Do you find that you’re not present during sex? Look into how mindfulness techniques can be helpful and examine how you can actually incorporate them into your goals. Are you not making enough time for sex? What about sexual dysfunction? You can make a commitment to speak with a therapist who can assist you in working through whatever issues you may have.
As a sexuality therapist, my clients come to me with a variety of questions and concerns, but a common denominator is their desire for change. Just as it is with resolutions, something may serve as motivation to seek my services and work toward solutions. Whether they’re single or in a relationship, this theme is ever present in sessions and can be related to a myriad of issues. Also, all my current clients are black and they seek my services specifically because they want to have a helping professional who mirrors their experience in some way. That’s not to say that therapists of other ethnicities can’t be effective, because they most certainly can. However, most of my clients express relief after finding a black sexuality therapist and I’m happy to serve my community as a catalyst of positive change.
Although New Year’s Resolutions can often be seen as cliché, setting realistic goals for yourself can be incredibly helpful, especially in dealing with your sexuality. So, the next time you see a “new year, new me” meme, don’t roll your eyes, but consider including healthy sexuality in those resolutions so you can move forward into a prosperous and sexy New Year.
De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson is a licensed clinical social worker and sex therapist in private practice at Sankofa Sex Therapy, LLC. She’s on the Executive Board of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network and has been featured as a sexpert on Ebony.com, Shape.com, and WomensHealthMag.com. Check out her YouTube show, Ask A Sex Therapist, where she answers your questions related to sex and sexuality and visit her website, SankofaSexTherapy.com.