Tag Archives: Eleanore Wells

Too Old For Roommates? Think Again. Guest Blogger Eleanore Wells – Spinsterlicious

By now, we all know about the rise in single people and that, for the first time in U.S. history, there are more single people than there are married people.

And because of this growth in the number of single people, all kinds of interesting things are happening to change the status quo.  For example, having roommates used to be a temporary step until you got yourself together: while in college –or- shortly after graduating but before finding a job with an income high enough for you to afford your own place –or- before you set up house with your significant other.

Having a roommate used to be something only young people do…but not anymore.

I recently came across a book called My House, Our House by Louise Machinist, Jean McQuillin, and Karen Bush, three single women who bought a house together and have been successfully living together as grown-up roommates for seven years, and counting.  They call it “cooperative housing” and it may be the next new wave of living styles, as more people remain unmarried but don’t necessarily want to live alone.  The book even has a quiz in the back to help you decide if cooperative living is for you.

And while seven years ago, what Louise, Jean, and Karen were doing might have been seen as odd, it’s becoming a little more common.  The NY Times recently ran an article on the growing numbers of people –often women, but not always—who are shacking up with likeminded adults.

This concept, also called communal living, is an opportunity for people who aren’t married but don’t necessarily want to live alone to share their lives with people who think like they do.  It’s also an opportunity to save money and to go to bed at night with the consolation that if you have an emergency, someone is there.

Beyond the financial and security advantage, there are other upsides to having grown-up roommates, including having someone to share the housework and cooking, built-in companionship, and someone to kill bugs if that’s not your thing.

If you’re thinking about this, background checks and references are essential.  Plus, you should spend some time with your potential roomies to make sure you really do get along.

I kind of like this idea.  While I love living alone, I can appreciate that there may come a time when I no longer want to and I like that there’s a reasonable option.  I envision a situation like the Golden Girls, where I’m living, laughing, fighting, and just having fun with a couple of girlfriends on an all-the-time basis.  This could become a new normal. It’s an interesting concept that I bet we’ll see more of in the coming years.

Yes, As A Matter Of Fact, I Am Still Single: Guest Blogger Eleanore Wells – Spinsterlicious

I have an awesome life: I live in New York City, a place that I love, and have a great career as a marketing research consultant, an active social life, and vacations around the world. I have great relationships with my family and a fabulous circle of good friends. I support charitable organizations with my money and time, and adore my 15-year-old Yorkie, Danny. Despite all this goodness, though, there are many who look at my life and feel sorry for me…because I’m single. And I don’t get it.

Marriage is not for everyone, and the high divorce rate corroborates this.  And the U.S. Census says that while only 28% of U.S. adults were unmarried in 1970, that percentage rose to 47% in 2010.  Plus, a 2011 study by the Pew Research Institute found that the number of U.S. adults who are unmarried is now 49%, a record high.  So, there’s a lot of single people out there, and I’m a little baffled why people act like being single is such a bad thing.  It’s not.

I’ve been single all my life.  In fact, I like to describe myself as a spinster, a word a lot of people don’t like. I want them to get over it, because being single –a spinster—is just fine, and I’ve learned a few life lessons for making it work.  So, for those who still aren’t quite sure that “living single” can be really good, here’s a few things to think about:

 1. Revel in Your Freedom. Being single, I’m not encumbered with many of the restrictions that come with having a husband and children.  My time and my money are my own and I can spend them however I want.  I love to travel and so I do.  I’ve traveled the U.S. and the world, and plan to continue doing so.  I can sleep in on the weekends.  I can dash out of the house at a moment’s notice –without looking for a babysitter or discussing it with my husband– if someone rings me up and says “join me”.

2. Have Adventure.  Pushing the “freedom” thing a bit, I recommend adventure…pushing the envelope…stepping out of your comfort zone from time to time. I want to make sure that I can look back at my life when I’m 90 and say “well done, girlie.” Being single means it’s okay to indulge in a few unconventional behaviors on occasion. Years ago,  I quit my corporate job and started my own company before I had a client, I once found myself in the hotel room of an A-List actor, and I took off for a two-week trip to Europe alone after thinking about it for just a week. Had I not been single, these actions could have seemed a bit irresponsible.  Instead, they were just fun.  In September, I’ll be trekking through the High Atlas Mountains of Morocco and I can’t wait.

3. Use Birth Control.  This is an important one and nothing to be casual about. If you’re not  deliberately trying to change your spinster status by having a child, then be very careful. Otherwise, your new nickname could be “Mom”. And all those freedoms you used to have will disappear.

4. Don’t Re-Date the Jackass Ex-. Sometimes being single can get a little lonely. Then, we look around to see who’s available and the ex- starts to look a little better. Don’t do it though. It’s important to remember that this loneliness usually doesn’t last, and is often about something else going on in your life. Figure out what that is and deal with it, because if he was a jackass the first time around, he’s still one. I know this for a fact, so I’m saving you the trouble. A word to the wise should be sufficient.

My hope is to remind every unmarried woman out there that her life should be celebrated. There is something empowering and rather brave about not marrying or having children if you’re not 100% sure.

Admittedly, some single women wish they were married, but since they’re not at the moment, I’d like them to focus on what’s good in their lives. A spinster may or may not eventually marry but, in the meantime, she certainly owes herself a great life.

Read more about the joys and realities of being single in Eleanore’s book “The Spinsterlicious Life: 20 Life Lessons for Living Happily Single and Childfree”, her very popular blog, The Spinsterlicious Life, and her Spinsterlicious Facebook Fan Page.