Dear Janice:
My Crush told me to go put some make up on, buy a push-up bra, and get myself another man! What should I do?
Crushed.
Dear Crushed:
Answer: Girl, this one is almost too easy: put some make up on, buy a push-up bra, and get yourself another man!
An older, wiser woman once told me this: a man will always tell you everything you need to know about what he wants; you just have to be willing to hear him. As dishonest as men can be, when it comes to what they want, they will always tell you the truth. We women don’t always want to hear what they have to say, though. So, we ignore their signals, like when they stare at a woman who dresses differently than we do; or when they constantly talk about so-and-so’s wife who is so cool because she likes basketball. We even ignore them when they are as blunt as your Crush.
Why? Who better than a man to tell us what men want? When we don’t listen, we end up alone. So take your Crush’s advice, girl. Listen to him!
Now, while I believe in always being one’s authentic self, I am realistic enough to know that sometimes, nature needs a little help. A little mascara to make your eyes more noticeable; a little blush to highlight those stunning cheekbones; a little spandex and underwire to give the “girls” that extra lift… these are all things that can be used to ENHANCE your natural beauty.
You must remember that men are visual creatures. Before they can get to know your fabulous personality and fall madly in love with you, they have to be attracted to you. You have to get their attention!
So girl, you better run (don’t walk) to the nearest MAC counter and have someone show you how to apply the best colors and shades to bring out the best features on your face. Then immediately proceed to the nearest Victoria’s Secret (again run, don’t walk) and get yourself measured for the best push-up bra your money can buy. Next, buy yourself a cute top with a V-neck. Nothing too plunging, of course… you don’t want to show off all the goodies! But, trust me on this one. V-necks are a girl’s best friend!
Now you’re ready to take your Crush’s last bit of advice to find yourself another man. He’s made it clear that he’s not interested in a relationship with you, so let it go. But before you do, pay your Crush one last visit. Let him see the new and improved you… show him what he’ll be missing! Bat those enhanced eyelashes, arch your back a little and let him eat his heart out! Enjoy!
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Push up is the wrong name. The HOOK UP is more like it. Flattering a dude is fine, but that dress may deserve to be flattered too – something that only the right undergarment can do.
I invest in the best. Bras and shapers. Best doesn’t mean expensive. The best fit for you.
All you have to do when you turn the corner and see that amazing look on a man’s face that lets you know he is so glad to see you is to know that a few extra minutes and pennies spent on you was well worth it. Thanks for the reminder and encouragement, Janice!
Great advice!! And so true! Those exes give harsh but relevant advice to attract the next “love of your life”!
I think that one should show care and creativity/style in appearance, and I know I’ve payed particular attention to how I look for a special someone, but at no point did I FIRST “try” — constantly and consistently putting on make-up or flattering clothes for example — and THEN have a guy show/tell he was interested in me. I think a guy that shows interest in you just being who you are is the guy to go with. Of course, finding how to “just be you” can require experimentation with different underwear and clothes and makeup and colors, and you have to have confidence. I think a crucial point is whether he’s interested in how you express yourself while also letting you know what he likes — like if you look good in a particular color, or for example once my boyfriend told me I should part my hair differently… that comes from wanting to connect with someone, not change/hide who they are just because of some ideal picture.
For further media consumption, here is a great spoken word piece about the word “pretty”:
http://www.upworthy.com/now-for-sale-daughters-10000-each-if-theyre-pretty?c=upw1