ASK JANICE: The 3 “T’s” of Seduction


seductionDear Janice:

I’ve been with my guy ever since we were 17 years old. We are 24 now, and married. He was my first and my only, and taught me everything I know. Our sex life is mutually satisfying, but lately I’ve been a little bored. I’ve been fantasizing about adding some spice to our sex life, like a little bondage or a little rough play. But, I’m afraid my husband won’t be open to it. He’s always taken the lead in bed and might not appreciate my suggestions. How can I spice up our sex life without freaking my husband out?

Janice responds…
Honey, who doesn’t love a little slap and tickle? I don’t know what it is about a couple of slaps on the tush that gets us going. Is it the sound of the smack against the flesh? Or is it the stinging bite of pain that does it? Phew! Whatever it is, it sure does make for a fun time.

And I’m all for a little bondage, too! The excitement of being restrained while being hopelessly aroused feeds into every girl’s fantasy of being taken, of being swept away! There’s just something about surrendering that is just plain ol’ sexy!
And I can certainly flip the script, too! Being the one in control while your man is tied up and helpless is hot, hot, hot!!! Oh, the things you can do with a set of furry handcuffs, an ice cube and a cat-o-nine-tails!

But I can understand your reluctance to introduce this kind of play to your hubby. After all, he’s always been the teacher to your student, the Henry Higgins to your Eliza Doolittle. But, listen. There are definitely ways you can get him on board with your new ideas.

You just have to remember the three “T’s” of seduction: timing, tone and tension. You can’t introduce new ideas to your man when he’s tired or watching the game. No, you’ve got to time it for when he’s in a frisky mood himself. He’ll be more open to new games of pleasure, especially when it’s his pleasure.
Watch your tone, as well. If you’re not usually the sex kitten type, don’t go all whispery and weird on him now. But, keep your tone low and non-threatening … and flirtatious. Let him hear the arousal in your voice. Say things to make him feel desired and sexy. Don’t go overboard, though. Be subtle.
Finally, you’ve got to keep the sexual tension high. Work your normal magic and get him really aroused. But delay his satisfaction just long enough to have him begging for release. You want him ready and willing to do your bidding. And believe me, if you keep that tension high, he will be literally eating out of your hand.

Then, you make your move.

Maybe you bring out a pair of your pantyhose and tell him how sexy it would be if he tied one of your wrists to the bed. Or maybe, when he’s at the point where he’s begging for it, you ask flirtatiously what he would do if you were a “bad girl and said no”? Would he “spank you”? Trust me, he’ll get the hint. Then, you tell him honestly what you want. Remember, he’s at the peak of arousal and pretty much will agree to anything. (This is also a good time to ask for those diamond earrings you’ve been wanting.) He’ll probably be excited by your initiative and thrilled to try something new. And you get the satisfaction of finally teaching him something.


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