What Does It Mean To ‘Clean House’ For A New Year? ASK JANICE

Dear SuzyKnew Readers,

First of all, Happy 2014, everyone!  If you’re like me, you were anxious for the New Year to begin.  A new year means new beginnings, and that’s exciting and exhilarating.  I love the idea of embracing the whole “out with the old and in with the new” concept and am always glad to have an excuse to “clean house”.

A lot of people make New Year’s Resolutions – everything from promising to quit smoking (or other bad habits) to vowing to lose all the weight gained during the holidays.  And I applaud everyone who makes these resolutions and sticks to them, I really do.  However, New Year’s Resolutions just aren’t for me.  For one thing, I’m always trying to lose weight and break bad habits all year long.  Sometimes I’m successful (I’m proud to be a former smoker) and sometimes, I’m not (I still need to lose half my body weight).  But, when I’m not successful, I don’t wait all the way until January 1st to try again.  I just pick myself up, dust myself off and try again immediately, no matter what the date is.  So, I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions because I can never come up with any real resolutions that I’m not already trying.

However, I do like using the occasion of a new year to “clean house” in my personal life, and I encourage you to consider doing the same thing.  When I say “clean house”, I don’t just mean getting rid of those clothes that are out dated and let’s face it, I’m never going to be that size again.  I also don’t just mean getting rid all that junk collecting dust in closets, junk drawers and storage spaces.

When I talk about “cleaning house”, I’m talking about getting rid of the junk people in your life!  We all have junk people: so-called friends that only call when they want something; people who spend more time talking about you than they spend talking to you; that one friend who always talks down to you or tries to make you feel stupid; that “friend with benefits” who only uses your body, but offers nothing to your soul; that guy you keep sleeping with even though you know the relationship is going nowhere; that jerk who spends your money, drives your car, saps your energy, uses your precious body, but only gives you stress and heartache; the cheater who promises to change, but never does.  I could go on, but you get the idea.

Well I say, kick off 2014 by “cleaning house” and getting rid of all these toxic, junk people!  You don’t need them!  Why are you holding onto them?  They’re keeping you from being your best self and are probably keeping you from your best blessings.  Let them go!  Get rid of them!  Toss them out with those dying poinsettias, that fruitcake you’re never going to eat, and the rest of your holiday garbage.

Instead of making New Year’s Resolutions, make a Life Revolution!  Revolutionize your life by only allowing people into it who will actually elevate you and bring out the best in you.  Life is challenging enough without having junk people wear you down even more.  So, choose to surround yourself with people who genuinely want what’s best for you … who will lift you when you’re down and bolster you when you’re up.  Surround yourself with people who bring out your A game, help you to operate at optimum levels and challenge you to be your very best!

Don’t get it twisted, though.  I’m not telling you to surround yourself with “yes” people … folks who will only tell you what you want to hear.  Real friends will always be real with you.  They will support you when you’re right and challenge you when you’re wrong.  They see your potential and will help you realize it.  And sometimes, that means that they have to call you on your s^%t.  Sometimes, they have to tell you things about yourself or your behavior that are hard to hear.  But, they aren’t doing it to bring you down, though.  They do it because they love you and want to elevate you to your highest potential.  They see greatness in you that you may not even see in yourself.  These are the people you want in your life.

I know it isn’t easy to get rid of any kind of junk, especially junk people.  It’s painful to let anyone go, even people who are bad for us.  But it’s time to put your big girl panties on and do what is best for YOU.  And if that means letting go of a junk guy who may be good for an occasional orgasm or two, but constantly brings you down or breaks your heart, then let him go.  You know the relationship isn’t going anywhere.  And you know you’re only holding onto him because you think that having a piece of a man is better than having no man at all.

But honey, that is a great big old lie you’re telling yourself!  You’d be much better off alone than being someone’s “afterthought booty call”.  You really don’t need him and more importantly, YOU DESERVE BETTER!  So let him go!  Let all the junk people in your life go!  Make room for the right person or people to enter your life!  You don’t have to be mean about it, or make some big announcement about it.  Simply stop taking their calls or responding to their texts.  Unfriend them on Facebook and unfollow them on Twitter.  Erase their names and numbers from your contacts list and don’t look back!

Readers, I challenge you to use this new year as a starting point for your new life.  It won’t necessarily be an easy thing to do.  You may even shed some tears.  But shedding the dead weight of junk people will make you feel as light as if you’d lost a ton of body fat.  And we all know that junk people can be just as damaging to your health as those pounds you’re trying to shed.  However, getting rid of the junk people doesn’t require a new gym membership or fad diet.  It just takes resolve and self-love.  And trust me, if you “clean house” in your personal life, 2014 will be your best year yet!