My Crush Told Me To Put On Some Make-Up And Buy A Push-Up Bra: ASK JANICE

Dear Janice:

My Crush told me to go put some make up on, buy a push-up bra, and get myself another man!  What should I do?



Dear Crushed:

Answer:  Girl, this one is almost too easy: put some make up on, buy a push-up bra, and get yourself another man!

An older, wiser woman once told me this: a man will always tell you everything you need to know about what he wants; you just have to be willing to hear him.  As dishonest as men can be, when it comes to what they want, they will always tell you the truth. We women don’t always want to hear what they have to say, though. So, we ignore their signals, like when they stare at a woman who dresses differently than we do; or when they constantly talk about so-and-so’s wife who is so cool because she likes basketball. We even ignore them when they are as blunt as your Crush.

Why? Who better than a man to tell us what men want? When we don’t listen, we end up alone. So take your Crush’s advice, girl. Listen to him!

Now, while I believe in always being one’s authentic self, I am realistic enough to know that sometimes, nature needs a little help.  A little mascara to make your eyes more noticeable; a little blush to highlight those stunning cheekbones; a little spandex and underwire to give the “girls” that extra lift… these are all things that can be used to ENHANCE your natural beauty.

You must remember that men are visual creatures. Before they can get to know your fabulous personality and fall madly in love with you, they have to be attracted to you. You have to get their attention!

So girl, you better run (don’t walk) to the nearest MAC counter and have someone show you how to apply the best colors and shades to bring out the best features on your face. Then immediately proceed to the nearest Victoria’s Secret (again run, don’t walk) and get yourself measured for the best push-up bra your money can buy.  Next, buy yourself a cute top with a V-neck.  Nothing too plunging, of course… you don’t want to show off all the goodies! But, trust me on this one. V-necks are a girl’s best friend!

Now you’re ready to take your Crush’s last bit of advice to find yourself another man. He’s made it clear that he’s not interested in a relationship with you, so let it go. But before you do, pay your Crush one last visit.  Let him see the new and improved you… show him what he’ll be missing! Bat those enhanced eyelashes, arch your back a little and let him eat his heart out! Enjoy!

Originally published August 14, 2012

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