As a recent Muslim convert, I have found myself in numerous, but friendly conversations about my Islamic beliefs. However, on one particular day at work, I had a conversation with a person who can really get on your last nerve sometimes. You know that person who is… just doing the MOSTEST… as the kids would say! Regardless of the subject at hand, this person wants to act as if they know more than you and gives you unnecessary or unwanted advice. You know that type who always has a condescending opinion – masked as sincere advice, but riddled in judgmental double talk and well… you know… heck… just going to put it out there… STUPIDITY.
You would think that if they are getting on EVERYBODY’S nerves, that they would realize it and go sit their azz down somewhere… Just Sayin’!
Before I begin, I want to go on the record saying I really truly like this woman and value some of her opinions. But, she can get on people’s nerves sometimes because she is so opinionated and aggressive.
In my opinion, we were having a friendly discussion at work about wearing or not wearing a hijab, and she really could not grasp my reasoning. I have only been Muslim for 6 1/2 months. But, I’ve been an American Black female for 44 years, and at this point in my life, I am not ready to wear the hijab. I am easing my way into it or transitioning you could say.
This woman started telling me I should be wearing a hijab as a Muslim woman. I was thinking… now, hold on a minute Ms. Thang… Aren’t you one of those Jehovah Witnesses? While looking at her out of the corner of my eye. NO – THIS HEFFA DIDN’T JUST GO THERE I am about to light her azz up in a minute if she don’t take her crazy azz somewhere and go sit it down… She was really testing my patience today… Okay… where was I?… oh yeah… since we are speaking about how we are supposed to dress… where is your skirt and why are those pants so tight? Heck… why is your cleavage sticking out of that blouse of yours and don’t you drink and party almost every weekend? Above all… aren’t you female? Are you even supposed to be working?
As I refocused, I tried to explain the fact that I was not raised in an Islamic country, and I was not raised Muslim.It was going to take time for me to truly conform to Islamic culture with regards to clothing.
I was raised Baptist not Muslim, and just like any religion, you must transition into it. There is no time limit on this transition; it’s solely based on the individual and their relationship with their GOD. Plus, as Black American women, we have our own flavor, and I want to incorporate that into my Islamic style of dressing.
Well, this double-talking fool… oops… person told me that once a Jehovah Witness is publicly baptized that their transitional period is over. Now I am thinking: okay… where is this girl headed with this conversation… I am not in the mood for her nonsense today… she stated that after the baptism they instantly and immediately begin to dress, behave and follow the laws of Jehovah Witnesses. She proceeded to say that you can tell if a woman is a Jehovah Witness by the way she dresses. And, I thought… Really? Because here you stand, and I can’t tell…
I was standing there looking at her as if she had lost her mind. She must not have remembered that four or five months after she had started working at our job, she had told me that she was a Jehovah Witness. So standing there in tight clothing and breasts spilling out talking about the “way a woman is supposed to dress” sounded ridiculous… along with her unsolicited judgments! At this point, I had had enough of this conversation. It was time for me to go punch her azz and move along to something more mentally stimulating…
But, in my motherly tone and persona… you know the one you use when you are trying to educate a child… I stated that we are all transitioning into different stages of life; whether we want to or not. It is a part of being human.
Well, she was standing there anxiously ready to get her next point across, but as Kevin Hart famously stated, “SHE WASN’T READY” for the setup! I asked her if from the moment she was baptized until now, had she not grown within her religion because once again… life is about growth and maturing? She began to look confused and dumbfounded.
Then I stated that where she is today in her faith was the result of transition and growth… right? She agreed.
Then how the heck could she not understand my transition within my faith?
I politely emphasized to her that I was confused that she was judging me for not wearing a hijab. I admitted that I was just not ready yet and may ALLAH continue to work with me… But,she was judging me, a person who has only been a Muslim for 6 ½ months while she sits there as a Jehovah Witness for all of her life… (I didn’t even mention the rededication to her faith) and she is not doing what is required of her. But, she is judging me.
My life is a daily struggle to learn all of the Islamic commandments.
Well to make a long story short, I explained to her that I really did enjoy our little debates because I truly love hearing others’ opinions even if we do not agree. See, I am the type of person that if I don’t agree with you on something, I will go home and reflect on it. If after this reflection, I feel that your view makes more sense than mine, I am woman enough to come and let you know. I love conversations that enlighten me and allow me to grow as a person.
Now, I guess you are wondering what the purpose of this blog post is… well let me enlighten you. First, Ladies, please leave others alone about their religious beliefs and practices. Especially, if you are not truly practicing yours! We all want to believe and make others believe that we got our stuff together in all aspects of our lives, but do you truly? Secondly, please do your homework before you start or go meddling with people. If you are going to start something at least present a sensible point of view and know what you are talking about! Lastly, just leave people alone! If they don’t ask you, then don’t engage. Ladies, stop starting unnecessary drama! Live your life and let other live theirs…
Stay Blessed Queens!
ejnsolliaA is currently a graduate student majoring in Communications Studies. Her goals are to become a successful blogger, professor and to one day be able to give back to her community by developing a holistic community center. As a low-income, single mother of five, ejnosillA wants to help other low-income, single mothers of color become educated and empowered.