Ever since I’d decided to remorselessly launch myself into the dating world, I’ve looked back on my experiences and tried to understand how each encounter/relationship turned out the way it did in the context I was in. As a Filipina living abroad in Ethiopia, France, Indonesia, and the United States, obviously some pieces of random clothing from my (dating) life in different countries will find its way in the ‘baggage’ that I carry along. I decided to organize my luggage to help me in my future encounters and chances for dating success.
For the wandering soul in search of reasonably priced, good quality clothing to find your own dating style and mate, come right over!
Here are a few clothing tips for consideration:
Skinny jeans: No matter who you are or where you come from in the world, skinny jeans are always a good staple to have. You can wear them to almost any occasion. Whether paired with flats and a blouse worn to a serious talk by the new head of the organization or snazzed up with heels and a sexy top for a date, they never fail you. Skinny jeans can be considered part of our anchor: they are like the good table manners your mother taught you when you were young, or the education you worked so hard to get. When it comes to dating, they are the values that you do not want to compromise, such as placing your career above all else or finding ‘The One’ your only goal. You may grow too big or small for your skinny jeans and need a new pair, but whatever happens, one pair is always a welcome sight when that bag is flipped open.
Heels: Never forget to pack a pair of killer heels. It doesn’t matter what type, as long as you have them – wedges, platforms, stilettos, or even short high heels. It’s important to have something that makes you feel sexy and confident, something that oozes that extra ‘oomph’ and draws glances. Heels can be part of your dating repertoire, right along with flirting glances and smiles reserved for an attractive member of the opposite sex. For international flirting, it’s good to have a pair of nude, black, brown or dark blue heels – basic ones that you can pair with a variety of clothing and adapt to the occasion. For example, flirting in the States may mean smiling widely and conversing freely, while flirting in the Philippines may mean being open to seemingly intrusive questions like, ‘do you have a boyfriend?’ Heels take you places you never thought you’d be able to go to, but only if you have the courage to put them on.
Black lingerie: That clichéd movie claiming black lingerie means you want to have sex? Whether you believe it or not, having a pair of lacy black underwear is extremely seductive long before you even end up in the bedroom. It doesn’t matter if you’re having sex tonight, the next year, or on your wedding night – it’s all about the subconscious desire to do so and the knowledge that you are attractive inside out and you’re not afraid to flaunt it. Just like heels, black lingerie lets loose an inner, bolder side that manifests itself in something as small as the brush of a hand on a man’s arm or looking him in the eye and asking, ‘Would you like to go back to my place?’
Your wardrobe, like your relationships, is made up of choices. You can push the limits a little bit each time, but always with the knowledge that you’re comfortable with how far you go. You keep clothing and dating habits that gave you success in the past hoping they will carry you to a successful future. These staples are good to have, but every now and then, it doesn’t hurt to buy an outrageous pair of green heels or make out with that random stranger who keeps winking at you from the bar. You never know where that openness might take you, just like it did me.
Some people say you should never mix business with pleasure. While others do it all the time. We all know that woman who took her business acumen to grab a Bill Gates-style career and used it to secure a Taj Mahal love. But, it’s hard to look at our dating lives through a hard, cold business lens. I mean who wants to see that she isn’t getting her fair share of the market of quality men, right? Or who wants to realize she is running her love life into the ground – like an inept businessman? We all want to feel like we’re a part of that special 1 percent of people who find the riches of dating and love that have eluded the rest of the world. But, a little hard inner reflection can go a long way. In her book “The Business of Dating,” relationship coach Steph McKenzie takes traditional business principles and applies them to your modern dating life. Take a look. Secure the rich love life you deserve.