To help you have a sexy Valentine’s Evening, we’re posting some advice taken from ASK JANICE’s “How To Talk Dirty While Intimate.”
Happy Valentine’s Day, Ladies!
So often, we turn ourselves inside out to please our partners, but rarely do we seek to elevate our sex skills for ourselves.
The hardest step towards stepping up your dirty talk game is getting your mind right. Our mindset is what enables us to take great sex and make it better.
Start your sexy Valentine’s evening, outside the bedroom, fully clothed and while you’re both present and open. Gently bring up the fact that you want to enhance your already great sex life with more dirty talk on your part, and then ask what he likes to hear. There may be certain phrases and words that hit the target every time, and certain things that turn you off completely. Find out what your partner likes and doesn’t like. It doesn’t have to be too specific, but you want to get a general idea.
For example, some men get off on being called “Daddy” during sex, but it totally freaks other men out. Some women like being cursed at, but some hate being called out their name. Some people like to be bossed around (“Do this”, “Faster.” “Harder”). Others get off on doing the bossing.
Usually, it’s a matter of trial and error. But, a conversation with your lover is definitely in order. Plus, it opens the door for you to ask for what you want more of (or less of) in bed.
Which brings us to our next point and that is to remember that sex is another form of communication that involves ALL the senses: sight, taste, touch, smell and of course, SOUND. So dirty talk is simply a way to continue the conversation the rest of your body is already having. And like any conversation, it shouldn’t be forced. It should ebb and flow naturally.
In other words, don’t try so hard! Be natural. Relax. Be in the moment and speak your truth in that moment. If it feels good, say it. And say why it feels good and how it could feel even better. If you pull a new move out of your bag of tricks, ask him how it feels and how it could feel better.
Get out of your head and listen to your body. Listen to your lover’s body. Listen to his conversation leading up to sex and go from there. What does he say to let you know he’s in the mood? Take that and continue talking about it in the bedroom.
And when all else fails, throw out a compliment, or two. Everyone loves to hear how sexy they are, especially when they’re naked!
Finally, like any skill, dirty talk takes practice. The more you do it, the better you’ll be. Keep trying. Seek honest feedback from your friend.
Most importantly, be confident. You can’t be timid with dirty talk (unless your sex play calls for it, but that’s a whole ‘nother conversation). You gotta say it like you mean it!
Good luck and keep in touch!