Tag Archives: female orgasm

Dr. Drai: 10 Myths About The Female Orgasm

Hi #GYNEGirls! It’s me Dr. Drai. Let’s chat about the BIG “O”. Ladies, an ORGASM is the peak of sexual pleasure. You will have uncontrolled muscle contractions in your vagina and anus, as well as the uterus due to the release of oxytocin. Then your body releases dopamine which makes you feel like happy. Your heart rate increases, you breathe heavier, your blood pressure increases, and your entire body is flushed due to norepinephrine. Then serotonin is released which makes you sleepy. Now you know why your man falls right to sleep after he ejaculates. The body is SO amazing, right? Let’s review some myths about orgasms because Dr. Drai wants you to have the best orgasm of your life.

1. True or False. A bad relationship is a big orgasm killer. TRUE. If you are fighting with your mate, your vagina will be dryer than a desert. Remember orgasms in a woman are what I call cerebral. Your mate has to have your mind in order for you to let them have your body. Go to couples’ therapy. You also need to stop smoking and drinking alcohol. Some medications like anti-depressants can dampen your ability to “O”. If you are STRESSED out, you will not have an orgasm.

2. True or False. Masturbation is Mandatory when having orgasms. FALSE. Masturbation does allow you to learn what you like so you can teach your partner how to please you. Plus its 100% SAFE- no babies, no STDs. Have you heard of mutual masturbation? YASSS play TOGETHER. Foreplay should not be forgotten. Play with the nipples or the back of the neck. KISS more. Remember foreplay doesn’t start in the bedroom i.e. weekly date nights. Play with yourself while reading erotic books OR just watching porn. Masturbation isn’t mandatory but it can help you reach an orgasm quicker.

3. True or False. Ben-wa balls Tighten the vagina, which makes you have better orgasms. TRUE. Since the balls are weighted, you have to use your muscles in the vagina to hold them in. Buy the ones with the string attached to them. This way you can increase resistance by tugging on them. Your pelvic floor muscles will be strengthened i.e. your orgasm will be stronger.

4. True or False. Sex toys make having orgasms easily. TRUE. Just make sure that they are smaller than your man’s penis. There’s only one Mandingo in your bedroom and it’s your husband. Only purchase sex toys- dildos, vibrators, anal beads-that are made with 100% silicone. This material doesn’t have pores in it so bacteria can’t hide out and silicone won’t cause cancer. Just like masturbation, playing with sex toys will help you learn your makes your body climax quicker.

5. True or False. Tickling your A-spot will cause you to orgasm. TRUE. The A-spot (Anterior Fornix) is an erogenous zone that’s located in the vagina just above your cervix. He (or she) can get to this spot in the missionary position. It takes deep penetration to hit THIS. That’s why your vagina gets wet with that DEEP THRUSTING.

6. True or False. Stimulating the PS-spot is necessary to orgasm when having anal play. TRUE. When having anal sex, relax AND use lube (and condoms of course). There’s a PS (perineal sponge) spot in the rectum. It’s an erogenous zone that’s located where the male prostate would be. Google it! Hit this spot to reach ecstasy. When having vaginal sex, your BAE is hitting that spot in doggie style. That’s why you love it.

7. True or False. Your G-Spot is not real, so finding it can’t help you reach a climax. FALSE. The G-Spot feels like a walnut AND is located just inside of the vagina 2 cm from the opening at the top. Feel it with your finger. Practice makes perfect.

8. True or False. I like teaching about the spots to hit during sex. Your U-Spot is stimulated to help you squirt during the BIG “O”. TRUE. The U-Spot is located just inside of the vagina at the top- right below the urethra. Tickling this spot may make you “squirt.” The Skene’s Glands (aka Female Prostate) is located beside the urethra on both sides. This gland releases ejaculate after your orgasm. Only 10% of you #GYNEGirls will squirt! Don’t stress over this. As long as you are reaching the BIG “O”, you are fine hunni.

9. True or False. Stimulating the clitoris & mind are the easiest way you can orgasm. TRUE. Don’t skip the CLIT! The clitoris and penis are made of out the same tissue. #GENTS-If you give the Clit some ORAL lovin’, it will expand just like your penis. Watch it grow! The Clit is way more sensitive- it has 8,000 nerves while your penis only has 4,000 nerves. #GENTs- NOW you know why that’s her spot. DO NOT skip the clit! PLEASE! Foreplay starts in the head.

10. True or False. Eating aphrodisiac foods is helpful when you want to get in the mood. TRUE. There are nitrates in leafy greens & beets, flavonoids in dark chocolate, protein in pistachios, & antioxidants in watermelon. Chile Beyonce KNEW the secret. There are lycopene in tomatoes & grapefruit AND Zinc in Oysters. Even avocados can make you climax!

Do these myths sound familiar? I know right. Here’s my BIG takeaway- just relax, have fun, and enjoy the ride. It’s time for you to have the best orgasm of your life.

Until next time… it’s Dr. Drai.

How Can A Man Help A Woman Ejaculate? ASK JANICE

Istock photo

Dear Janice,

I am a heterosexual male who has experienced female ejaculation from two sexual partners over the years.  That is to say two where I’ve been able to recognize that a female ejaculation has occurred. After love making in the missionary position with the first partner, I would many times have a slick wet spot on the left side of my pelvis. I had no idea it was the result of female ejaculation until one day I actually heard it squirting out onto me.

I casually mentioned to my lover that she could ejaculate, but she gave little verbal response or acknowledgement about it. About five years later another lover would catch me off guard with a gushing female ejaculation as I was pleasing her orally. I wasn’t sure what to do so I swallowed most of it.  I later experienced that this lover would have as many as three gushing female ejaculations in less than an hour.  Like my previous lover she didn’t say much about it, even when asked.  I wanted to know if the experience was a greater level of pleasure than orgasm without female ejaculation.  Was it a greater enhanced experienced, or just a different pleasure experience? Does it feel really good? Those were my questions.

As a male lover who is committed to giving his lover every level of pleasure, should I encourage my lover to seek the experience of female ejaculation?  I recently read an article that said many women hold back and don’t push forward because the sensations prior to ejaculation feel the same as when they have to pee.  So they hold it thinking they don’t want to pee on a lover and be embarrassed. I also learned that not every female has the ability to ejaculate.

Janice, how do you think this willing male should approach the subject of female ejaculation?  Please help me answer my questions.

Thank you,

Dave in Michigan 


Dear Dave from the Mitten State,

First of all, on behalf of women everywhere, thank you for being such an attentive lover!  It truly is a beautiful thing to encounter a man so committed to giving his lovers pleasure.  I wish we could clone you and replace all of those insensitive clowns out there who are only in it for themselves!  And can I say that I’m so pleased to hear about your partner who had three ejaculations in one hour!  Bravo!  You obviously know what you’re doing!

I also want to thank you for not reacting negatively towards those of your lovers who do ejaculate heavily.  Some men would be put off by that, and you seemed to handle those situations with grace and sensitivity.  Again, bravo!

I don’t know a lot about female ejaculation the way you describe it.  I don’t know how common or rare it is.  I suspect that it’s largely involuntary, and really has no bearing on the level of sexual pleasure experienced.  That is to say that I don’t think a woman who doesn’t ejaculate upon orgasm experiences any less pleasure than a woman who does.

All women are different, especially when it comes to sex.  Some women get so wet during sexual arousal that they drench the sheets, their lover and anything else in the near vicinity.  Other women require artificial lubricant just to get going.  And don’t get me started on how a woman’s hormones can affect all this, including where a woman is in her cycle, how close she is to menopause … there are so many variables here.

So, rather than encouraging ejaculation per se, you should continue to encourage your partners to just let go and enjoy as many orgasms as you can give them.  Some will squirt, others won’t.  As long as you reassure the squirters that they have nothing to be ashamed about, then you’re fine.   And as long as you don’t assume that the non-squirters aren’t enjoying themselves, then you’re fine.

You just keep pleasing the ladies and being the sensitive lover you are.  And hey, maybe you could even teach of your male cohorts some of your tricks.  Believe me, there are a lot of guys out there who don’t have a clue!

Thanks for writing, Dave.  And keep up the good work!


Ask Janice your intimate question about love and relationships at ASKJANICE@suzyknew.com