When Will He Take Our Relationship Seriously? ASK JANICE


I’ve been dating a guy for about 7 years now, and he is not taking me seriously.  If any of his friends want to get married, he tells them I’m available.  What should I do?


Not Taken Seriously


Dear Not Taken Seriously:

Seven years?  Sister, I think you already know what you should do:  LEAVE HIM.

You deserve so much better than this.  You’ve given this man seven years of your life, and if he hasn’t taken you seriously by now, he never will.  Don’t waste another minute of your precious time with this fool.


Listen.  You’re not alone, here.  Most of us women have been right where you are, wasting our time on a man who will never love us the way we deserve to be loved.  In fact, I know a woman who waited DECADES for a proposal that never came!

It makes you wonder why these men do this to us, doesn’t it?  Why do they keep stringing us along, taking for granted that we’ll always be there when they call?

The answer is simple, Ladies: because we let them.

Some of us are so scared of being alone that we’ll settle for situations where we’re nothing more than an afterthought.  Instead of waiting for the kind of relationship that we really want, we’ll settle for these men who do nothing but take: take our time, our love, our bodies, our money, and our souls.  And nine times outta ten, these dudes will turn around and marry someone else (younger, skinnier, prettier) in a heartbeat.

STOP letting this man walk all over your heart.  STOP letting this man take up space in your life when he doesn’t even deserve the time of day from you.  STOP letting fear of loneliness keep you in a situation that isn’t good for you.


The change begins with YOU, Sister.  You’ve got to demand more from the men you date.  Forget this loser.  He’s a lost cause.  As long as he knows he can treat you like crap and get away with it, he’ll never change.

You’re the one who has to change.  You have to start loving and respecting yourself enough to know that you deserve a loving, committed, and respectful relationship.  Otherwise, you’ll end up right back where you are now even if you get rid of this joker (and I pray you do).

Remember, what you allow will continue.  No man is ever going to love you the way you want and deserve until you love yourself enough to stop putting up with bullshit like this.  You’re the one who shows others how they should treat you.

I know leaving this man won’t be easy.  After all this time, you’ve invested a lot of your heart into him.  But he isn’t the one for you.

Let me say that again.  He isn’t the one for you.

The right man will love you the way you deserve and won’t have you begging for scraps like a dog at the table.  The right man will respect you enough to give you the kind of relationship you want.

The right man is out there, Sis.  But he’ll never find you if you don’t love yourself enough to move your current guy out of his way.

I hope you allow the happiness you deserve to find you soon.

Good luck.

Photo Credit: Enigma in Black – WordPress

*Original edited for clarity