ASK AN OBGYN: How Can I Safely Date an HIV+ Man?


Dr. I Roger has been practicing medicine and helping women and their families in Canada and overseas for over 15 years.  Dr. Roger invites you to ask your women’s health questions at

Question: Dear SuzyKnew Obgyn, I’m in love!  But, my new man has HIV/AIDS. How I can get sexy with him but stay safe.  I know about condoms but any suggestions on what to do to make sure we’re really safe?

Response: Congratulations on your new love! I’m happy for you!

Condoms are the most effective method for preventing transmission of HIV infection and other STDs, and you should use one whenever you are sexual.   HIV can be transmitted to you through any fluid coming from the penis of your partner: sperm or seminal fluid (the seminal fluid is the clear secretion coming from the fully erected penis before ejaculation). Therefore, you should roll the condom on to the penis before it comes in contact with your rectum or vagina.  HIV can also be
transmitted while performing oral sex, but the risk is very low.  To be really safe  avoid getting semen in your mouth, or use a condom

Instructions on how to use the condom  comes inside the pack, and if you follow the guidelines the chance of failing is low If something goes wrong with the condom you should contact your physicians  within 72 hours (3 days) and discuss post exposure prophylaxis (PEP). PEP is a treatment that may prevent HIV infection and involves taking anti-HIV drugs for 4 weeks Not all HIV clinics will have PEP, and you should identify  where the service could be provided to you ahead of time. You can also discuss emergency contraception (ECP) with your provider to avoid an unwanted pregnancy.

ASK AN OBGYN is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.