Author Archives: SuzyKnew!

About SuzyKnew!

SuzyKnew! is dedicated to improving the sexual and reproductive health and sexual pleasure of women of color.

Where’s Melania?

WASHINGTON, DC – SEPTEMBER 11: U.S. President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump walk to the White House residence. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

Ever since Melania came down with a mild case of The Rona, she’s been MIA from the campaign trail. A no show.

Ladies. That’s embarrassing.

Yeah… yeah… she still has a lingering cough from COVID. Just like she had to take time to recover from that… what was it? Kidney surgery? I don’t want to pooh pooh real health issues because, as a Sista’ I know you can’t take your health for granted.  But we’re not buyin’ it.  Even the boring middle-of-the-road USA Today puts “lingering cough” in quotation marks when explaining why Melania ditched her husband campaigning after he got back on the campaign trail like the  “superman” we know he is (not).

Now, you know neither you nor I could pull a stunt like that.  We’d be labeled “difficult” or “angry.”  As in “Angry Black Woman.” And why wouldn’t you want to support your man, if he just recovered from a life-threatening illness? Unless your marriage -isn’t really a marriage…?  And you’re not about serving the American people. You’re just out there for you.

Melania did have the common sense and decency to show up for the October 22nd debate.  She even put on a mask. And you know that was a big effort for her.  But, walking off stage after the debates, Melania appears to yank her hand away from The Donald and then he appears to push her off the stage. Watch the video clip below and decide for yourself.

Since Trump hit the campaign trail hard again post debate hitting 2, 3 or more battleground cities a day, Melania hasn’t shown up. It’s clear she’s not having it.  It’s a transactional marriage gone wrong.  “She does what she wants, when she wants … She can be a contrarian,” a former White House staffer said, according to CNN.

Melania’s bad behavior is unprecedented. No modern First Lady has been absent from the campaign reelection trail.   Melania, of course, is needed on the campaign trail to appeal to suburban (white) women. So much for that…

My question is if The Donald is such the “tough, macho man,” he says he is, who can kick everyone’s behind, why can’t he control his woman?  This should give all his Alpha male supporters pause before voting.

Photo credit



World Contraception Day And International Safe Abortion Day 2020

Ladies, it’s October. September is over. But, SuzyKnew! wants to make sure you don’t miss a few take-aways from World Contraception Day, which was celebrated September 26 and International Safe Abortion Day, celebrated September 28. Hmm… celebrated two days later… that doesn’t look good. Evidence shows that access to contraception reduces the incidence of abortion. Access to both are necessary for quality sexual and reproductive health.

World Contraception Day is all about education and learning about the different contraceptive methods out there and which ones are right for you. The day is supported by non-governmental organizations and scientific and medical groups.

Below are a few fun facts from a supporting site.

  • Most women between the ages of 15 and 44 years in the US use contraception.
  • The pill remains to be a popular choice of birth control among many women, but its usage decreases as women age.
  • Tubal ligation (or getting the tubes tied) is another popular form of contraception among women in the US.
  • Contraceptive patches and rings are more convenient than pills as a patch and ring need to be changed weekly and monthly respectively, whereas the pill needs to be taken daily. It can be hard for a woman to remember to take the pill daily.
  • Contraceptive methods such as implants and IUDs are considered to be the most effective as their failure rate is below 1 per cent.

International Safe Abortion Day started in 1990, as a day of action for decriminalization of abortion in Latin America and the Caribbean in 1990. The day aims to highlight access to legal and safe abortion as fundamental to quality sexual and reproductive health.

Safe and legal abortion is a challenge for many women around the world and could be soon a major challenge for US women.  Below is a short video about what happens to women who are unable to access safe abortion.


Fertility Friday: Parasites, Mold, Infections, Hidden Pathogens … And Your Fertility

Today, we share Fertility Friday’s podcast interview with Dr. Jessica Peatross on how parasites, mold, infections and hidden pathogens impact your health and fertility.

Hidden pathogens don’t always show up consistently on tests, and can be notoriously difficult to treat. Many women have struggled to successfully get rid of persistent, underlying infections, and Dr. Peatross tells all about getting the support you need, and ultimately getting to the root of the issue.

Topics discussed in today’s episode:
  • What drew Dr. Peatross to medicine and prompted her to shift her focus on medicine
  • How some of these hidden illnesses can present themselves and how they can be missed by our traditional medical system
  • Where would someone get mold exposure and how to detect it in your body
  • What are the common symptoms of mold and how it can affect your health
  • Is there anything that a person can do to minimize the effect of mold
  • How to determine if your house is safe of mold
  • How individuals think they are immune from hidden pathogens, viruses and infections
  • Why some people get sick and some people do not when exposed to the same thing
  • How underlying infections and parasites can reap havoc on our health

 Follow this link to tune in.

What Does RBG’s Death Mean For Black Women And Other Women Of Color?


Friday evening’s news that our sister Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed was not surprising – but it sure was shocking.

Where were you when you heard the news? I was actually watching my favorite news show The Reid Out when suddenly, Joy Reid cut off her guest and said, “Just a second, I’m going to have to take this breaking news…”

When I saw Joy’s face I knew what it was.

Then, Joy said it, “Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has passed.”

I swear two seconds hadn’t gone by when all my Sista’ friends started texting and calling me announcing the news.

Yas – the Sista’ Network is not only real – but it is fast!

And, ladies, we gotta be fast in how we respond to this. RBG’s passing is no joke.  We are in danger. Under more threat than we usually are when we walk our sexy selves out the door and do our stuff.

Sad, but not, surprising 24 hours hadn’t passed after RBG’s death when The Donald said it’s his “obligation” to fill the vacancy “without a delay.” Oh Pluh-lease…

What is at stake? Below is just a sample. But, things could get really wild and the Court could start questioning the validity of Brown vs The Board of Education. Have you ever read what Justice Clarence Thomas believes?  He doesn’t believe in legal precedent.  The man believes in redoing everything. Yes – legally segregated schools could be in your family’s future.

  • Healthcare. The Supreme Court will be voting on Obamacare/Affordable Care Act this upcoming session (November 10). A death nail could be put in Obamacare and this would affect access to all insurance and healthcare. And forget about covering pre-existing conditions. And we’re the ones most like to get COVID, have diabetes, high blood pressures. I don’t have to share SuzyKnew! or other articles for you to know how access to healthcare is a life and death issue for us.
  • More specifically… abortion rights. RBG’s death is what conservatives (who refuse to wear a mask against Coronavirus which could literally result in killing people but are so worried about a woman having an abortion) have been waiting for: to put an anti-choice conservative on the court for years.  Black, Latina and other women of color are especially vulnerable to cuts in access to abortion. Overturning Roe v Wade would result in more maternal mortality and morbidity among women of color. It will put more pressure on our ability to live fully  – or just survive.
  • DACA – In June, the Supreme Court knocked down the Trump’s administration’s attempt to kill the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, or DACA. But, new applications aren’t being accepted. And the future will be determined by the next president and most likely the Supreme Court.
  • Affirmative Action and Civil Rights. Yes. I don’t care what kind of Black or woman of color you are. This impacts you and your future and that of your children.

What can you do?

  • Vote early – in person. Don’t sit around and wait until the last minute. Grab your mask and go down to early voting. Your voting place may have changed, you may face other challenges you don’t know so go take care of it now. I will be voting the first day early voting opens in North Carolina: October 15.
  • Talk loudly among friends and family about voting and take time to engage with people who say they don’t think voting is worth it. Take those people to the polls. Making voting a Sista’ party!
  • Call the offices of vulnerable Republican Senators who would suffer if they would vote to confirm a nominee before the upcoming election or Inauguration including: Susan Collins (R-Maine her recent statement leaves wiggle room for her to vote), Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska), Thom Tillis (R-NC), Cory Garner (R-Colorado) and others like Utah’s Mitt Romney who may be open to waiting for the election.

Ladies, we can’t take this sitting down. Our lives are on the line. Hear AOC’s take on what we can do:


WAP – Cardi B And Me

Ladies – do you have some WAP – like Cardi B? Yes. Wet Ass Pussy. If you’ve got it. Flaunt it.

Get a mop and a bucket: female lubrication is sexy and hot.  And, everybody is talking about it.  WAP showcases Black women demanding pleasure and explaining how they want it, standing in stark contrast to the scenario of women being made to feel embarrassed by having so much natural lubricant or ejaculate.  Remember “The Flood” monologue in the The Vagina Monologues?  An older woman who came of age during the 1950’s shares how when she went on a drive in high school with a handsome suitor,  she got so aroused that a gush of female fluid or ejaculate rushed out of her, staining the car seat and her dress. The large volume of love juice disgusted her guy and humiliated her.  After that, the woman, who had never experienced such strong sexual arousal before, said she was so mortified she shut her vagina off from all contact. She told the interviewer that if her vagina wore a sign, it would say “Closed. Due to flooding.” 

In society, Black women have been depicted as either very religious and prude or hyper sexual, like an animal.  But, in music, such as Hip Hop,  Black women have taken control over nasty name-calling and relish in their own our sexuality.   The chanting WAP chorus in the background There’s some whores in the House. There’s some whores in the House, sounds more like a religious affirmation than judgmental scolding

We, Sista’s have been bragging, showing off our stuff and putting it out there for years.  Taking our sexual power back from men. Remember L’il Kim and “Suck My D*ck?”  Like L’il Kim, Cardi B is deciding how to use sexual language to her benefit and power.  And don’t forget Foxy Brown,  Missy Elliott and more.

Male rappers tell us about their junk. And, we don’t let them outdo us.

Today, a lotta women want to squirt and gush but this sexual power is relatively new and not everyone embraces it. There are books and online articles helping women to gush their juice at orgasm and teach men how to make their women’s juices flow. But, ladies, it’s not about about the gush but pleasure.  Right?

Of course, there has been some shock over the lyrics and dance in Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s latest song (particularly from conservative men). But, the song has gone viral and now tops many charts. It’s number one on the most important Hot 100.  Seven days after being made available, WAP is the best-selling song in the U.S. Plus – everyone is trying to do the dance.  Tiktok has even launched a WAP dance context.

Ladies, show them some WAP!


Keep it healthy!

Keep it sexy!



Fertility Friday: Conceiving In The Midst Of A Pandemic

Lisa Hendrickson Jack

Lisa Hendrickson Jack

This Friday we share Fertility Friday’s powerful and important podcast episode focusing on conception in the midst of chaos.

With the increasingly restrictive measures that have been imposed on us, and growing uncertainty about when we’ll emerge from it all, where does that leave your plans to grow your family?

If you’ve wondered whether this is the “right” time to conceive, you’ll appreciate today’s episode. Find out why Pritam feels that the current state of affairs presents an incredible opportunity to bring children into the world. We delve into the topic of stress and explore how to cultivate your thoughts and emotions to foster an incredible, life-giving environment for your unborn child — regardless of what’s happening in the outside world.

Topics discussed in today’s episode include:

  • Why it’s important to look at the spiritual side of childbirth
  • How women can heal from trauma from childbirth
  • Pritam’s belief that conciseness begins when a child is born
  • How women can amplify their environment to create a healthy embryo
  • Women should actively be creating a healthy living environment before becoming pregnant
  • How women gain their power back
  • Connection between preparation and how it may help improve fertility

Click here for the podcast

Be Yourself. Be Unapologetically You. SWJ

Ladies, SWJ.

Serena Williams Jewelry.

We’re lovin’ it over here at SuzyKnew!

This is not a sponsored post. We just came across this new collection while clicking through the internet and thought “Y-a-s…”

A lot of what this collection expresses reflects SuzyKnew! values. Like proclaiming your self-love, strength and success. You can proclaim this by buying yourself pure gold and silver jewelry with bold affirming statements.  You don’t need to wait for the “Little Blue Box,” a.k.a jewelry from Tiffany’s.  You don’t have to wait for someone to buy you diamonds or to tell you you’re a success; you don’t have to settle for blood diamonds either.

Wearing SWJ jewelry shows you know your worth and know how treat yourself. It’s well… from one Sista’ to another.

Serena expresses the sentiment well by explaining on her site:

“The collection is a beautiful celebration of the strong women in my life and around the world. My designs inspire people to love themselves, believe in themselves, and, of course, treat themselves.”

Of course, this is jewelry can be offered as a gift from a parent, sibling, friend or lover,   But, we like the fact that this jewelry encourages us to love ourselves and treat ourselves well. It is jewelry for us – and by us!

SWJ diamonds are affordable. Getting a diamond necklace, an ethicially-mined diamond necklace, for as little as $600 is a real deal. We’re really lovin’ the “Unstoppable” collection, which frankly is more affordable than other pieces in SWJ, launched last year.  This collection was released in the face of the Coronavirus pandemic.  People of color are disproportionately affected by the virus physically and economically. The message “Unstoppable” reminds us and tells the world we will not be defeated.

For more on SWJ jewelry click here and for more SuzyKnew! articles on Serena Williams see: Will Obamacare Be Gutted? Even With Insurance And Education Our Chances Of Dying In Childbirth Are High

Photos: Courtsey of Serena Williams Jewelry


ASK A SEX THERAPIST: Will My Boyfriend’s ‘Size’ Affect My Ability To Get Pregnant?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and we tried to have a baby. I’m starting to think that it won’t happen because though size doesn’t matter it does when you’re trying to reproduce. My boyfriend’s penis sometimes penetrates me and sometimes it doesn’t. Sex with him has always been frustrating because I’m his first and he has a tendency to climax rather quickly. I feel like it’s my fault because I have more experience and I just don’t know how to help him. What should I do?

Thanks for your question. Below are some articles that may help:

If rapid/premature ejaculation continues to be an issue for him, it may be helpful for him to work with a sex therapist to learn various techniques. Also, if you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while, it may be helpful to speak with your physicians to see if there may be other issues at play impeding the process.




Read more articles by ASK A SEX THERAPIST – “Prince: Christian and Sex Positive,” “To Grapefruit Or Not To Grapefruit” “What Does ‘Formation’ Say About Black Women’s Sex Lives?”

De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson is a licensed clinical social worker and sex therapist in private practice at Sankofa Sex Therapy, LLC. She’s on the Executive Board of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network and has been featured as a sexpert on,, and She recently appeared in “Antigone” a play about the events in Ferguson, MO. Check out her YouTube show, Ask A Sex Therapist, where she answers your questions related to sex and sexuality and visit her website,

Fertility Friday: Male Factor Infertility

This weekend we share Fertility Friday’s podcast on men’s sperm.

Did you know the majority of men’s sperm are abnormal? Even the healthiest man alive? Fortunately, mother nature is infinitely wiser than we are! Your cervical fluid filters abnormally shaped sperm (and sperm with poor mobility), allowing only normal and healthy sperm to pass through the cervix and move on to fertilize an egg.

This Friday, Fertility Friday released a new podcast interview with Dr. Thinus Kruger, a South African medical doctor whose work changed the way sperm is classified and analyzed. If your partner’s sperm has ever been tested, and you’ve seen the “strict morphology” numbers on his lab test — Dr. Kruger developed and standardized the “Kruger Strict” method.

Topics discussed in today’s episode:
– What brought Professor Kruger to focus on fertility challenges and more specifically, challenges in sperm morphology
– Professor Kruger’s analyzation of sperm and that certain sperm shapes have a connection with pregnancy rates
– What is morphology?
– What the impact of male infertility can have on a couple trying to conceive naturally
– What women should know about morphology
– Professor Kruger’s perspective on the decline in male sperm count and quality

Tune into Fertility Friday’s interview to discover how why it’s important to have your partner’s sperm analyzed, what he can do to improve sperm quality, and why Dr. Kruger recommends against jumping strait to artificial reproductive technology when you encounter fertility challenges.

More from SuzyKnew! on male sperm: African Men May Have Higher Sperm Count Than African-American Men

When An African Aunty Calls You Under The Karité Tree – By Expatise

A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A friend is someone who is always there and will always, always care. A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart. – African Proverb

He who learns, teaches. ~ Ethiopian proverb

An essential foundation of African culture is the vital role of aunties (mums, spiritual mothers, and older close friends). Under normal circumstances, an aunty will never try to replace a young girl’s mother or grandmother. However, her role as an aunty is significant all the same. Aunties can sometimes be pointedly outspoken when it comes to matters of the heart, relationships, your future, and the all too familiar fashion advice. “You should always dress for your shape and never show too much of your body in public,” our younger selves never wanted to hear. Aunties often speak about traditional and religious values, morals and principles, respect for elders, education, your role as a wife and mother, and of course, men. And they provide much-needed cooking lessons. They tend to mitigate the problems one faces in life. They quietly encourage positive behavior graceful movements, and to speak in soft tones around men. But sternly instruct us to work hard, complete our education, save our money, build/buy a house or two, and to love, pray, and care for our children. These, most often unsolicited, but well-meaning discussions/life lessons usually take place under a Karité Tree (aka, tree of life).

Hold a true friend with both hands. ~ Nigerian proverb

Being independent and on my own, since I was 18 years old, I was known for being idealistic. However, I would say I was cavalier in my pursuit of adventure, happiness, and professional success. For a 20-something, I also would like to believe I was a good decision-maker. Mainly since I somehow avoided many distressful situations young women experience in their 20s and 30s, in their pursuit of happiness and success. However, after moving 9,000 miles away from the comforts of family, friends, and the familiarity, God knew I needed a support system in Africa since I NEVER planned on returning to America, other than for short visits, of course. So He brought several aunties in my life. My aunties who accepted me without conditions and each held me with both hands to help navigate me on a steadier path. Especially since life became less idealistic and more realistic – in other words, tougher. From time to time, unsteady footing solicited my aunties calling me under the Karité Tree to speak about the meaning of events and uncomfortable circumstances, to help me clarify my ideas and actions, and what the consequences of my decisions would be. Although some of my aunties are no longer with us, or they are far away from me now, I will always remember them and be grateful for their friendship, love, and support they gave to me while living and raising young Adeleke, my Yoruba prince in Africa.

If anyone finds themselves making a similar move to the Continent, I highly recommend making a connection with aunties and uncles. They can be your moral compass and help you avoid pitfalls, and stay on track to living your best life in Africa.

Let me introduce you to my Pillars of Strength:

Aunty Yemi, our Peace Corps nurse from Nigeria, was gentle and kind. Aunty Yemi, the Caregiver, was skilled at calming volunteers when we would overreact whenever we experienced an unknown ailment. She always cared for us back to good health. Aunty Yemi was also a woman of faith, who loved her family. I will never forget her as being a good listener who had an exceptional skill at allowing me to find my solutions to my problems.

Aunty Rebecca Muluhya, Strength of Faith. My loving, humble, nurturing, generous, and faithful spiritual mother, who never tired of not only praying for her amazing daughters Sally and Edith and husband baba Sally, she never hesitated to pray for others, including me. It seemed aunty Rebecca’s line to God was more direct than the rest of ours. Rebecca’s line to God was most beneficial for me when I had emergency back surgery in Nairobi. Although I didn’t know aunty very well at the time, she knew I was in Kenya all alone, and she and her youngest daughter Edith came to visit me at Aga Khan Hospital. Their visit was unexpected, and their prayers were comforting. From that moment, aunty Rebecca always had time for me. She never hesitated to pray for me or invite me into her homes in Kigali, Arusha, Nairobi, and Kakamega, where after retirement from the United Nations, she continues to serve God by helping orphans and widowers (Founder of the Rescue An Orphan Trust, in Kakamega, Kenya). Aunty Rebecca is loving and kind-hearted. I saw first-hand how meaningful and impactful her work for the empowerment of orphans and widowers are. I am so grateful for aunty Rebecca’s patience with me. Best believe, when there was a need, aunty Rebecca never hesitated to call me under the Karité Tree.

Mum Olamide Adedeji was the epitome of an African woman. When she walked into a room, she commanded respect by her sheer presence. She had a solid spiritual foundation, was persuasive, elegant, graceful, nurturing, and resourceful. She was also a woman with class and style. Mum also had a ‘matter of fact’ quality about her when needed. I am sure this quality was helpful during her role as Head of Office for the UN Mission in DR Congo. When she had a meeting with Presidents Kabila (DRC), Museveni (Uganda), and Kamage (Rwanda) to encourage these three presidents to have meaningful dialogue that would help bring peace and stability to the Great Lakes Region.
Mum was a loving person who loved her family and friends with a passion. Dede, Lanre, and Ade (Gabriel) had an extraordinary place in her heart. I remember assisting mum when she was the Administrative Officer for the ICTR in Kigali. Every morning, after settling at her desk, she would call each of her children, no matter their time zone (8:30 AM in Kigali, meant 3:30 AM in London 😊), to pray and spend devotional time with them.

Having an exceptional quality about her, mum Adedeji embraced and ‘adopted’ other children, young and older, as her own. She mentored and motivated so many of us – giving us advice (and instructions), love, and support.

Known as mum’s American daughter, I will continue to hold precious memories of the times we spent together, whether we were in Kigali, Kinshasa, Kampala, Nigeria or the US, mum always invited me to spend time with her. And yes, for gentle correction and guidance, mum, too, called me under the Karité Tree now and again to help navigate me through some of life’s challenges or keep me from making more less-than-smart decisions.

Mamita Olga Simpson, Cultured and Educated, had a pure and kind heart. There was not a day that I remember ever seeing Mamita without a warm smile on her face. She was loving and patient and never hesitated to meet with anyone in need of non-judgemental ears. Another woman of incredible faith, Mamita was the mother of four beautiful and accomplished daughters – Fifi, Dupe, Bayode, and Finayon, and by the reflections in her eyes every time she spoke about them, we felt her love for her girls.

I am thankful for all the moments Mamita and I shared fasting and praying during the Lenten seasons. The social functions we attended together in Kigali and the US. The stories about Mamita’s childhood, her accomplished family, her love of art and culture, and African history she generously shared as we ate delicious West African meals together. My siblings and I will always be thankful for the friendship my mother Olivia and Mamita had, and the times they spent together in Kigali and the US. And I am happy that my aunts, cousins, and friends in the US had an opportunity to meet Mamita as well. There were times Mamita called me under the Karité Tree.

Aunty Binta Sall, the Madame! Tall, elegant, stylish, kind, and a straight-shooter – honest and forthright with a fun spirit that even has the younger generation laughing with her. Aunty Binta, a woman of faith who is thoughtful and always willing to share her culture, family, and enchanting stories about her upbringing with me. She often uses humorous anecdotes that make us break out in laughter. At the office, I recall watching aunty from a distance as she greeted others with animation and a bright smile. Aunty Binta is cultured, and an accommodating host with fantastic hospitality – my siblings and I will always be grateful for the kindness she showed my mom during mom’s time in Kigali as well. And I will never forget the fun time I had when she selflessly hosted me in Senegal – arranging an incredible itinerary and scrumptious thieboudienne – my favorite dish.

Dear aunties, how blessed I have been to have had you as encouraging Pillars of Strength. Your listening ears when life was unkind, your faith in me that I would be fruitful in the various career choices I pursued, and your friendships that supported me when I needed that extra boost to face realities of life. Thoughts of you all and the fun times we shared continue to bring warmth into my heart and a smile on my face. I am thankful for all the experiences and your light.


Alyson is the creator and founder of Expatise.  Read more about Alyson’s personal story as an expat and desire to connect with like-minded people who share her love for Africa, passion for service, and need for travel escapes.