Author Archives: SuzyKnew!

About SuzyKnew!

SuzyKnew! is dedicated to improving the sexual and reproductive health and sexual pleasure of women of color.

‘Pro-Life’ MAGA-Hat Teen Shows Total Disrepect For Life

Being the sophisticated, woke SuzyKnew! reader you are, we know you’ve been following the horrible story of Nick Sandmann, the Covington Catholic School MAGA*-hat wearing teen who boldly stared down an elderly Native American Vietnam Vet at the Lincoln Memorial over MLK-Day weekend.  What’s worse is now there are journalists and commentators saying they jumped to conclusions after only seeing a short video of the clash. They are taking back their criticism after longer videos surfaced showing Black Israelites shouting insults at the Covington teens and others before the privileged teens broke into hateful whoops and Tomahawk Chops while their classmate confronted Nathan Philips, who fought for this country, with a mocking deriding smile.

Well, ladies… You can count on SuzyKnew! not to back down on these issues.  Additional video tapes did nothing to dispel the fact that Nick and his classmates showed utter disrespect for life.  All the videos depicted the boys in a horrible light. These boys and their chaperones came all the way from Kentucky to attend a ‘Pro-Life’ rally just to show their true colors and hatred in the nation’s capitol.

Ladies. Tell me. How can you finish up a March for Life to protect life of the ‘unborn’ only to go jumping up and down with Tomahawk Chops aimed at Native Americans? So, Native Americans’ lives don’t matter? Just ‘unborn’ babies? There are multiple videos and reports that the Covington boys wreaked more havoc during their Washington, DC trip by harassing girls shouting “MAGA!” and more.  I guess these people’s lives don’t matter either. Is this what their ‘Pro-Life’ rallies, communities and parents teach them? Is this how they behave in Kentucky or only in Washington, DC where the majority of the population is Black there is a rich vibrant and diverse population?

Another point that hasn’t received a lot of press: these children and their chaperones displayed complete ignorance of urban life and no true interest in wanting to learn. This is reflected in how they engaged with the Black Israelites.  Black Israelites are a fringe religious group known for their confrontational and sometimes offensive recruitment style. You find them in urban settings, especially with large Black populations.  This group should be pitied more than feared. None of the members are likely to become the nation’s next lawyers, doctors and CEO’s like the Covington boys.  To compare the Black Israelite group’s actions to what the Kentucky Catholic kids did is to downplay the reality of the country’s racial, class and religious history to the benefit of those with power.  Anyone passing by the Black Israelites would know they’re are a group to stay away from instead of engage with.  Would these boys confront Hari Krishnas at the airport?  Do these kids’ parents  and community have any basic understanding of the breath and depth of life in the United States? Do they have any interest in learning about others’ lives in their country – or only their own?

To make matters more embarrassing, Nick appeared on Good Morning America today to give his side of the story.  Nick was unrepentant.  Yes – unrepentant! He said he had every right to do what he did – to stand up there  in Nathan Philips’ face. Will Nick be as brave and fight and go to war for his country like Nathan Philips?   Here is a young teen basically telling the world he has every right to have utter contempt for others’ lives. Even for those who fought for the freedom he enjoys.

It appears Nick, his classmates, and community only value their own lives. Their March for Life is a false claim.   Both their actions and words speak loudly.

 

*MAGA is short for Make America Great Again, the Trump 2016 campaign slogan

Connecting To Possibility – By F. N.


Happy New Year, Suzyknew! Sistas.

Hope 2019 is full of orgasms, laughter, moolah and living your best life!

I want to start the year off with a question: Would you date a guy who was significantly older or younger than you? Or do you have an existing rule about the age range you’ll consider? For me, the rule was my age minus three, plus ten. So, not less than three years younger but at most ten years older. More than ten might not seem like a big issue at the beginning of my relationship with a dude. But as we aged, the differences in health and vitality would get really real really fast. I would be stuck taking care of an infirm eighty-year old man when I was still a vibrant sixty-five. As for more than a couple of years younger? Couldn’t do it. I was already too grown for the guys my age, how much dumber would a twenty-something-year old be? Did I really want to get it on on an air mattress in an apartment shared with two roommates? I had seen How Stella Got Her Groove Back as a kid, and melted for Ween-stun Sheks-pee-yerh. But I had also seen how that turned out, and cringed along with everyone else as a whole Terri Macmillan had to go on Oprah with her soon-to-be-ex-husband and cry about the fact that the young hottie she had met on vacation, who inspired her book and the Angela Bassett movie, had confessed that he was gay. If even Stella’s groove couldn’t stand the test of time, then that was Jesus talking to me. Big age difference? Nah.

Another question: Would you ever marry someone with children? I would. But only one child. My mother was a step-mother and she and my half-brother were the same person in different bodies. I mean, they were closer than close. So, I knew loving and co-parenting another woman’s baby wouldn’t be an issue for me. I wouldn’t disqualify a man because he had had a life before he met me. But I only wanted to birth one child of my own. I saw myself raising one child. If a guy had a kid, I would have two — which was not the plan. But, hey, I loved him: I would deal. And I’d be the best mother to this child I could be. But let’s be real, going from one to two is different from one to three or one to four. I mean, what if it was one to five, or six? Nuh-uh. I had met a rather nice gentleman who had four children and I had been glad when he turned out to be a bit of a douche, because I had written him off anyway. How would I split my time among so many little humans? How would I get along with an ex-wife when the logistics of co-parenting exponentially multiplied with every additional child? What if four kids meant two baby mamas? Three baby mamas? Kill me now. Guy with a kid? Fine. But kids? With an ‘s’? No thanks, I’m good.

Third question: Would you ever date a guy who drove a school bus? Who hadn’t been to college? Who was struggling financially? Personally, I didn’t care about money or a guy who could take care of me. So… low-paying job, very little disposable income, hmm, I could live with that I guessed. But would that mean bad credit? Didn’t that mean you were irresponsible with money? Maybe, you didn’t pay your bills on time. Maybe you were financially illiterate. Maybe you lived large on credit cards. The dude I needed didn’t have to be liquid but he had to have ambition and a plan to get financially stable. He had to be responsible. And he had to have no sexist ego stuff happening. He had to be the kind of man who would be totally cool that I made more money than him or was more educated than him. The kind of dude that wouldn’t demand that I atone for his bruised masculinity by making myself smaller. How many of those dudes were there, realistically? Not many. How do you find out if a dude is gonna be a nightmare until you are already in it? It’s hard. “Yeah, girl” I told myself when I was making my list, “Just stick to people who have their lives together.” Construction worker? GED? A man like that would eventually resent me. It wouldn’t be worth the risk. Better to just get my American Idol Randy Jackson on and say “Issa ‘No’ from me, dawg.”

How about looking for love online? I’m not just talking Match.com or Eharmony, I’m thinking more Tinder, Craigslist, Blackpeoplemeet.com, Bumble. The ones that don’t have ads on TV. I mean, my bestie from college was getting married in a few months to the man she had just had the most beautiful baby on earth with. They had both swiped right on Tinder. But that was an anomaly, as far as I was concerned; she should just say they met on Twitter or Facebook. Me personally, I wasn’t down for meeting anyone romantically on the internet. A guy I don’t know and can’t verify? On a website that’s known for one-night stands? That’s the quickest way to end up in a body bag at the bottom of a river.

I mean would you date a guy from a hook-up site? Or a guy who is significantly shorter than you? Who has health problems? Who has cheated on an ex before? Who is bad in bed? Who is covered in tattoos? I’m talking two full sleeves plus chest.

You already know my answers. I think y’all have also noticed the trend. I recently realized that I’ve spent so much of my dating life saying no. And all of my friends are the same. In a world that has always said black women are nothing and will amount to nothing, sistas have always had to prove that we were a good thing, we could identify good things, could work to achieve good things, were worthy of good things. Doesn’t that include a “good” black man?

Successful black women get the message that living a life that shows the breadth of black excellence includes meeting an awesome person who matches you and loves you. A Barack to your Michelle. There’s nothing wrong with that message. But, somehow, we are never taught that this person could be younger than us; less educated than us; have money problems because they paid for their mom’s hospice care; have children from a prior relationship (and maybe a dramatic ex or two); be from another culture; have been a player in the past before they learnt to do better; need tutorials between the sheets; be anything less than what society expects us to end up with. Somehow, we are taught that making our list and checking it twice, sticking with the required, perfect match is a foolproof method for not choosing people who don’t end up being the one. Somewhere we learnt that though most relationships are a roll of the dice and trifling niggas exist in every specter of the universe, getting your heart broken is less shameful if the asshole is an investment banker, not a carpenter.

But what if for the next eleven months we put all of that conditioning aside? We looked for people we genuinely connected with. We knew our worth and insisted on being treated with respect and affection. We required support, acceptance and love, but we also made getting those things a bigger priority than our preconceived notion of who we should be getting them from. What if we called that guy from high school whose Facebook friend request we were ignoring because he was kinda weird back then; smiled back at the fine-ass UPS delivery man; nodded at the compliment that pretty young thang at the gym gave us about the “Sarcasm burns calories” slogan on our T-shirt; asked that Asian guy at the farmer’s market where he was from? Wouldn’t that be dope? Just giving things a chance? Seeing where life and love takes us this year?

Photo credits: Mashpo.co.ke, Jay Harold, Bustle

The Best Of SuzyKnew! 2018

New Year 2019 replace 2018 on the sea beach summer concept

Ladies, it’s hard to believe 2018 is now history and we’re flying into the third week of January 2019.

Before we completely say “bye-bye” to 2018 and bring in 2019, let’s take a look at which SuzyKnew! articles got the most views.  Make sure you know what your fellow SuzyKnew! readers know!  Here are 5 articles that got some of the most reads in 2018:

Sexual Assault Survivor’s Testimony Occurs The Day Before World Safe Abortion Day

 

 

 

 

Is A Three-Some For Me? ASK JANICE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fertility Friday: What Does A Healthy Menstrual Cycle Look Like

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Melania Schools Us On How To Put Your Man In The Doghouse

 

 

 

 

Ain’t I Woman? By F. N.

Fertility Friday: Should You Freeze Your Eggs?

Today’s Fertility Friday’s episode and podcast is on fertility preservation, cryopreservation, and egg freezing.  Host Lisa Henderson-Jack interviews Valerie Landis, who has been working in women’s health for the last decade. Valerie’s medical career experiences and passion for helping women merged when she founded her educational website eggsperience.com. She focuses on guiding women of any reproductive age through the complex and challenging paths of fertility decisions.

Valerie compliments the Eggsperience website with a fertility podcast called Eggology Club that she hosts to continue to change the conversation around cryopreservation and egg freezing. She provides non-bias and fact-based information to empower women to feel inspired, brave, and act progressively to take control of their future families and protect their fertility.

Click here for more and the podcast.

A Sista’s Guide To Celebrating Kwanzaa

Created as a way for African-Americans to celebrate their heritage and reflect on African cultural values, Kwanzaa has seven principles which celebrated for seven days from December 26 – 31. These principles are Umoja (unity), Kujichagulia (self-determination), Ujima (work and responsibility), Ujamaa (cooperative economics), Nia (purpose), Kuumba (creativity) and Imani (faith). Celebrated all over the world, Kwanza is coming to an end.  But, there is still time to observe and benefit from this reflective holiday, even if you’re not an annual adherent.

Here’s how:

  1. Participate in your local Kwanzaa celebration – Many cities have Kwanzaa celebrations. Many of these celebrations take place during the last days of Kwanzaa or on New Year’s Day.  Google the cities around you to find a Kwanzaa celebration to join.
  2. Reach out to a few girlfriends and organize a “salon” to discuss and reflect on Kwanzaa principles. Kwanzaa was started in 1966 during the civil rights era. This was also when African countries were becoming independent from colonial rule and Marxism hadn’t been debunked by the fall of the Iron Curtain.  Discuss how Kwanzaa principles can be put into practice in today’s context.  Principles such as unity, self-determination and cooperative economics seem a lot more profound and take on a whole other meaning in the era of Trump.  How do friends close to you think we can put such principles in place?

    Happy Kwanzaa 6th Principle (Creativity / Kuumba)
  3. Make do with the candles, time and food you have.  Each year I vow to order a $77 Kinara and red, green and black candles way in advance of Kwanzaa. But, I never do. I also know from experience you just can’t  run out to Target and buy a Kinara or black and green candles.  (Red candles are usually easy to find.) You have to order these things from special sites or Amazon.  Making wonderful African or soul food for 7 days can take time and money you may not have. Not to mention the special mat, unity cup or ears of corn for Kwanzaa ceremonies. Don’t feel like to have to skip out on Kwanzaa because you don’t have all the right accoutrement, time or food. Make do with what you have and celebrate how you can.  Ok – I confess that this has been my approach, and I get a lot of Kwanzaa even though I’m far from a perfect observer.
  4. Take the principles of Kwanzaa to heart and put them into action on a daily basis, instead of viewing the observance as a seven-day event. Kwanzaa isn’t a religious or political event. But, for many it’s a life style.  Start 2019 by taking the principles of Kwanzaa to heart and living them out on a daily basis. As one young Indianapolis woman explained: “It’s about knowing who you are and what your worth is. No matter what you do for a living, if you don’t have these principles, you will fall short.”

These are just a few of many ideas out there on how to celebrate Kwanzaa. SuzyKnew! hopes you don’t let the holiday slip by without reflecting on a principle or two and determining how you will put them into action.

Joyous Kwanzaa!

Photo courtesy: Blogging Black Miami

Fertility Friday: Bleeding Problems With “Essure” Contraceptive Medical Device

Today, SuzKnew! shares Fertility Friday’s episode about the issues with Essure, a highly problematic form of permanent birth control that has affected tens of thousands of women worldwide. The podcasts also covers the recent Netflix documentary The Bleeding Edge and the issues with the medical device industry.

Fertility Friday’s Lisa Jack-Henderson interviews Angie Firmalino, who founded ASHES nonprofit in 2015 and is also involved with Medical Device Problems, a website launched in July of 2018 and Amanda Rusmisell, a wife and mother of two boys, who after being harmed from a medical device and having major surgery joined the Essure Problems Facebook Group. Amanda was shocked to see the harm caused to so many women and was compelled to help. She is the Legislative Liaison for the Essure Problems Group and has spoken before the FDA. Amanda has also organized and participated in numerous advocacy meetings in Washington DC and collaborated with other nonprofits to bring awareness to the issues surrounding Essure and medical devices.

Click here for more information and the podcast.


Lisa Hendrickson Jack

Short Christmas Stories By Famous And Everyday Black Women

Below, SuzyKnew! shares a radio broadcast, a couple of poems, and news stories on Christmas by famous and everyday Black women

Looking For Black Santa, Leoneda Inge, WUNC, North Carolina Public Radio December 2011

Durham, North Carolina is one of the most diverse communities in the state. Mayor Bill Bell likes to say it’s the city with NO racial majority. Then why is it so hard to find an African American Santa Claus?

….Two years ago, I found the cutest 1970s photo of me and my younger sister sitting on a white Santa’s lap. I loved the photo so much, I decided to make it my annual holiday card. But before the copies went out – I asked a friend to do a little photo-shopping – to give Santa a tan. Now that really made me smile. I mailed it to black friends and white friends, relatives and co-workers – they loved it!

Click here to  read more and listen

Amazing Peace: A Christmas Poem (First shared during the 2005 White House tree-lighting ceremony.)
By Dr. Maya Angelou

Thunder rumbles in the mountain passes
And lightning rattles the eaves of our houses.
Flood waters await us in our avenues.

Snow falls upon snow, falls upon snow to avalanche
Over unprotected villages.
The sky slips low and grey and threatening.

We question ourselves.
What have we done to so affront nature?
We worry God.
Are you there? Are you there really?
Does the covenant you made with us still hold?

Into this climate of fear and apprehension, Christmas enters,
Streaming lights of joy, ringing bells of hope
And singing carols of forgiveness high up in the bright air.
The world is encouraged to come away from rancor,
Come the way of friendship.

It is the Glad Season.
Thunder ebbs to silence and lightning sleeps quietly in the corner.
Flood waters recede into memory.
Snow becomes a yielding cushion to aid us
As we make our way to higher ground.

Hope is born again in the faces of children
It rides on the shoulders of our aged as they walk into their sunsets.
Hope spreads around the earth. Brightening all things,
Even hate which crouches breeding in dark corridors.

In our joy, we think we hear a whisper.
At first it is too soft. Then only half heard.
We listen carefully as it gathers strength.
We hear a sweetness.
The word is Peace.
It is loud now. It is louder.
Louder than the explosion of bombs.

We tremble at the sound. We are thrilled by its presence.
It is what we have hungered for.
Not just the absence of war. But, true Peace.
A harmony of spirit, a comfort of courtesies.
Security for our beloveds and their beloveds.

We clap hands and welcome the Peace of Christmas.
We beckon this good season to wait a while with us.
We, Baptist and Buddhist, Methodist and Muslim, say come.

Peace.

Come and fill us and our world with your majesty.
We, the Jew and the Jainist, the Catholic and the Confucian,
Implore you, to stay a while with us.
So we may learn by your shimmering light
How to look beyond complexion and see community.

It is Christmas time, a halting of hate time.

On this platform of peace, we can create a language
To translate ourselves to ourselves and to each other.

At this Holy Instant, we celebrate the Birth of Jesus Christ
Into the great religions of the world.
We jubilate the precious advent of trust.
We shout with glorious tongues at the coming of hope.
All the earth’s tribes loosen their voices
To celebrate the promise of Peace.

We, Angels and Mortal’s, Believers and Non-Believers,
Look heavenward and speak the word aloud.
Peace. We look at our world and speak the word aloud.
Peace. We look at each other, then into ourselves
And we say without shyness or apology or hesitation.

Peace, My Brother.
Peace, My Sister.
Peace, My Soul.

***

Choose to be Happy, Ayesha Karim 2012

I am happy because I choose to be; my life is far from perfect.

Others are content but I make conscious choices to be Happy and to be a positive person.

You don’t have to be rich or have a lot of money and material wealth to be happy.

Many wealthy people are poor in Spirit with all the money, fame and things that they have.

This Christmas Eve night as I write this poem I think about how I manage my money focusing on my needs first and then my wants.

I ask myself: Can I afford that? Do I need this? Can I wait for the store price to go down and get that dress on sale?

I hope that once I am financially stable with a decent job I can have a coat drive for kids age 1 through 16 in Trenton, New Jersey when every boy and girl gets a cute new coat and I hope that my story inspires others my battle with mental illness over 19 years…

 

Finding Black Christmas figures in getting harder.

Collecting Black Christmas Figurines – The challenges and the rewards

Merry Christmas to all!

How Do You Beat The Holiday Blues? ASK JANICE

Woman not happy about her laptop against snow falling

Do the holidays have you stressed and pressed? Are you buckling under the yuletide pressure to buy the perfect gifts for your loved ones? Is it hard for you to remember the “reason for the season”?

Listen. The holidays can be fraught with angst and stress, despite the happy faces we put on for the public. There’s the obligatory work parties to contend with, along with various family functions and family drama, financial pressures, year-end job stresses, etc. It’s enough to make even the jolliest of souls a little crazy.

If you’re feeling “Bah Humbug” and have lost your holiday spirit, here are 5 simple ways to lift your mood and end 2018 on a positive note:

1. VOLUNTEER: You know that non-profit or charity that you’ve always admired from afar, but never really got to see how they do what they do? Well, here’s your chance to get up close and personal with them! Volunteering your precious time helping others is a wonderful way to give back to your community and improve your mood. I know you’re busy, but even 2-3 hours will do the trick. Giving your time and talents to those less fortunate than you is great way to change your perspective about your own life, reminding you of your many blessings. So, go ahead and call that charity or non-profit and ask how you can help for a few hours this holiday season.

2. DONATE: If you don’t have a lot of spare time to volunteer with your favorite charity or non-profit, writing a generous check may be just what you need to lift your spirits. Every organization that’s working hard to make the world better could certainly use an infusion of cash, and you’ll be able to take another tax write off for 2018. So it’s a win-win situation for everyone involved. You can even go a step further and ask your friends and family to donate, as well; or, make the donation in their names. This will get everyone in your circle in the giving mood and do some real good for others, too. After all, it is better to give than to receive.

3. VISIT A CHURCH (or other place of worship) DIFFERENT FROM YOUR OWN: Even if you already have a church home (or if you don’t), visiting a different place of worship during the holidays can be a beautiful, uplifting experience. There’s something about strangers coming together for praise and worship that reminds us of our common humanity. Hearing different testimonies, sermons, and even hymns can offer you a fresh perspective on your own faith, and strengthen the bonds you already have with the Almighty. Besides, being welcomed into a new or different place of worship can tap into a level of love you’ve never before experienced, and you just may get some new friends out of it.

4. ADOPT A CHILD OR FAMILY FOR THE HOLIDAYS: Check with your pastor or others who are “in the know”, and select a child or family in need to “adopt” for the holidays. You could buy toys or presents for the child(ren), or provide a delicious holiday meal with all the trimmings. Maybe they need coats, boots, or other winter-wear. Or maybe they need a utility bill paid. Whatever they need, your generosity will go directly to someone who could use it. Again, giving to someone less fortunate than you not only helps others, but will surely put you in the holiday spirit.

5. UNPLUG, DISENGAGE, AND JUST RELAX: Maybe what you really need is to simply re-charge. You’ve been running all year, working hard, and probably putting others’ needs before your own. In fact, you’ve probably worn yourself out taking care of everyone else. If this is the case, then you need to take some time to unwind, relax, and allow yourself the time and space to reflect and re-charge. Logoff your social media accounts for a few days and disengage from all the noise and madness. Treat yourself to long baths and afternoon naps. Have a spa day. Catch up on some reading. Spend a day or two in bed watching sappy, Hallmark movies; or binge watch that show everyone’s been talking about, but you haven’t had a chance to see. Take some time for renewal and refreshment before you tackle a new year.

The holidays can be hard to get through, and many people really struggle with sadness, depression, and/or grief. These tips are merely quick fixes and won’t help someone who’s really suffering. If you’re having a harder time than usual this year, please reach out to your loved ones or seek professional help. The suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8255. You don’t have to suffer alone.

Healing – By Sophia Ned-James

I have to give credit where credit is due. Royce* has proven, once again, that settling down with him was the best decision I’ve made in a long time. Ladies, don’t fall for the Okey-Doke! Your man may be puttin’ it down in the bedroom, may be fun to hang with and may even be helping you out financially. But if he isn’t capable of using his love to heal you when you need it, then he isn’t getting the whole job done!

I recently went through a devastating, life-changing experience: the sudden death of a close friend. I mean, I was knocked flat on my ass with this one. I’m talking weeks of ugly crying, regular screaming fits and random acts of violence against whatever glassware was handy. Your girl embraced grieving like it was chocolate: I consumed it and it consumed me. This came close to breaking me.

Royce not only stayed with me during my darkest moments, but by really helping me to begin my healing process. He didn’t try to subdue my grief. On the contrary, when I shattered glass after glass in anguish, he just swept up the pieces and purchased new glasses. When I screamed until my throat was raw, he gave me tea with lemon & honey. He combed my hair when I hadn’t touched it for days. He fed me even after I swore I’d never eat again. He put up with my morning breath, uncombed hair, and snotty nose and called me beautiful in a way that made me believe him. And he knew exactly when, where and how I needed to be touched.

Y’all, that man’s touch was a soothing balm! It was better than the Benadryl I used to help me fall asleep! It was better than the whiskey he’d sometimes slip into my tea!

Whether it was his hand on the small of my back at the funeral, telling me he’d never leave my side; his tight grip on my hand right before I got up to eulogize my friend, reminding me to look at him when I felt lost or afraid while I spoke; or the gentle hands that held my face as he kissed my tears; Royce’s touch got me through the worst few weeks of my life.

And he knew exactly when I needed to be touched intimately, and to allow our bodies to do what they do best. He’d been so patient during my bereavement, never making any demands on me at all. But somehow he knew when the time was right.

We were at his place. It was nighttime. He was watching the game in his den. Exhausted, I took a long shower, turned off the lights and climbed into his bed. The television was on, but muted. Pandora was playing 90s R&B softly. I was emotionally and physically drained, but restless.

I must have dozed off, because the next thing I felt was Royce’s body behind mine. Actually, the first thing I felt was his big ol’ dick poking me in my back. I expected to be irritated because sex was the last thing on my mind since losing my friend. But then I felt his soft kisses on my neck, and his warm breath made me shiver. And for the first time in weeks, my body responded with something other than sadness or anger.

You’d think that Royce would be tentative with me, a little hesitant at least. But he wasn’t. He boldly kissed and stroked my body knowingly, as if he dared me to resist. How did he know I need this, I asked myself. How could he possibly know, when I didn’t even know myself?

He was patient, but persistent. I didn’t feel rushed, but there was no stopping the inevitable. And surprisingly, I was ready.

Fully aroused, I surprised Royce when I quickly flipped him onto his back. Before he could utter a word, I kissed him even harder than he’d kissed me. And then I climbed on top of him, rubbing myself shamelessly against his muscled thigh.

He got the hint and shifted us so that I was right on top of his throbbing cock. I moaned the moment my clit made contact with it. But I didn’t let him enter me. Instead, I roughly knocked his hands away and made my way up to his face. Carefully planting my knees on either side of his head, I paused. I don’t know. I guess I wanted his permission.
I watched his eyes, which seemed to sparkle in the television light. I didn’t have to wait long for my answer. He roughly grabbed my ass and pulled me onto his face. His attack on my re-awakened pussy was so fierce, I had to hold onto the headboard for support.

He didn’t waste any time with niceties and subtleties. He ate me like a starving man. For the first time in far too long, I gave into the intense pleasure of his mouth and tongue.

It felt exquisite! It felt sublime! It felt so good that in no time at all, I had a powerful orgasm that left me breathless. I was barely coherent when I slid off of his face and onto the bed beside him. He quickly pulled me into his arms for a tight embrace.

When I could finally speak, I whispered “How did you know I needed that?”

“I know you,” he answered, stroking my back.

I quickly recovered. Pulling him on top of me, I welcomed his weight. He felt whole and real and alive. I was almost desperate to touch every inch of him. So I rubbed and squeezed and grabbed every part of him I could reach.

When he finally entered me, I felt filled in a way that’s difficult to describe. It’s almost as if every stroke rubbed away some of my sadness. He was gentle, but his strokes were powerful. He pulled me into his rhythm effortlessly. And even though I wanted it to last forever, I was anxious to make him cum.

Sex is always great with Royce. But this was something different. It was more than pleasurable, it was healing. I didn’t just feel good, I felt better.

I can’t explain it, y’all. All I can tell you is that my man’s moves that night changed something inside me. It’s like his dick was a weapon knocking out the grief that had occupied my body and spirit. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true. Making love to Royce that night helped me begin to heal.

Now y’all know your girl Sophia is no stranger to the benefits of amazing sex. But until now, I’d never experienced healing sex. I highly recommend it, ladies. I hope that each and every one of you finds someone who will do for you what Royce did for me. Not just the sex, but all of it. Like I said, dude was my rock!

So seek ye a king who will slay your demons with his dick! But be careful. That’s the kind of shit that’ll get you sprung!

*Royce is my man’s internet name. I keep his government name between us for obvious reasons.
Photo Credits: sirsplayground.tumblr.com, 25.media.tumblr.com, haightashburyco.tumblr.com

Fertility Friday: Part 2 of Xenoestrogens In Black Hair Products – Endocrine Disrupting Chemicals, Fibroids, and Epigenetics | Dr. Tiffany Katz, Ph.D.


This Friday, SuzyKnew! shares part 2 of Fertility Friday’s work on endocrine disrupting chemicals, such as those found in hair care products, and various health issues including fibroids and endometriosis.

Fertility Friday’s creator Lisa Henderson-Jack interviews Lisa Hendrickson JackDr. Tiffany Katz,  who is Hispanic and an instructor at Baylor College of Medicine in The Center for Precision Environmental Health, in her podcast.  CLICK HERE FOR SITE AND PODCAST. During her dissertation work, Dr. Katz began studying the developmental origins of health and disease and breast cancer risk. She went on to the University of Pittsburgh in the Women’s Cancer Research Center to continue studying how epigenetic mechanisms contribute to breast cancer risk with a particular focus on the protective effect of early pregnancy against breast cancer.

Dr. Katz believes that there are periods during the life course where the genome becomes highly dynamic to accommodate great change such as early development, puberty, and pregnancy and has termed these times of purposeful plasticity.

Topics discussed in today’s episode:

  • The protective effect of pregnancy on the lifetime risk of breast cancer (and how it relates to a woman’s age at first pregnancy)
  • Is there a link between xenoestrogens and the development of fibroids and/or endometrios
  • Developmental exposure to endocrine disrupting chemicals
  • The potential fallout of early exposure (in utero) to endocrine disrupting chemicals
  • The role of epigenetics in future risk of developing various health conditions
  • How big of a role a genetic predisposition to certain illnesses (i.e. fibroids, endometriosis) play in your risk of developing it?
  • Genetic determination versus environmental exposure
  • The difference between xenoestrogens and phytoestrogens
  • Practical ways to reduce your exposure