Acclaimed writer Sophia Ned-James joins the SuzyKnew! ommunity with a regular column on sexual adventure. You can also find Sophia Ned-James work on SexySingleMommy.com.
MR. BIG STUFF
By, Sophia Ned-James
Greetings SuzyKnew! Readers,
My name is Sophia Ned-James, and I’m excited to be part of this dynamic sisterhood of women committed to making smart, healthy decisions about sex and love.
Like everyone here at SuzyKnew!, I’m passionate about women of color having a safe space to share ideas, ask questions and talk about the things that matter to us. Too often, our needs and desires are put on the backburner as we spend all our time taking care of others. So I’m glad to be part of this community and can’t wait to get to know you all.
So let’s get started, shall we?
You know how the popular HBO series “Sex and the City” had Mr. Big? Well, today, I want to talk about an old flame I affectionately call “Mr. Big Stuff”. This guy earned the nickname, too. His “stuff” was huge! Even now, he holds the record for having the biggest penis I’ve ever seen!
I’ve never been one to pander to fragile male egos. In my opinion, size does matter and I’m not afraid to admit it. Sure, it’s also about the “motion of the ocean”. Everyone knows that skill and finesse are important. To be honest, if he knows what he’s doing, a man doesn’t have to be swinging a Louisville Slugger between his legs to make me happy.
But let’s be real, ladies. Ain’t nobody got time for no itty-bitty, teeny-weeny, can barely feel it package!
That may sound hash because men have no control over the size of their equipment. But men judge us on things we have no control over all the time! In fact, I think women are way more accepting of men with less-than-perfect looks than men are of women. Anyway, even if it’s too little for my tastes, I’m sure it’s perfect for someone else. One woman’s “hell no” is another woman’s “I’ll take it”.
That said, some guys are just too damned big!
That’s right, I said it. And if you’d told me that before my encounter with Mr. Big Stuff, I would’ve laughed in your face. The idea of a penis being “too big” just didn’t compute for me, and was as unrealistic as flying cows.
Then one summer I met Mr. Big Stuff and my world turned on its axis. Suddenly anything seemed possible and I was ready to believe in fairy tales and pixie dust because I’d never seen anything like his unholy Beast.
Full disclosure: I’d been warned about Mr. Big Stuff. We were set up by my friend’s boyfriend, Bertram who immediately told me about Mr. Big Stuff’s reputation for being very well-endowed. I was skeptical, though. In my mind, there was no such thing as too much when it came to penis size, so I ignored Bertram’s warning.
The first few times we went out, nothing physical happened. We were obviously attracted to each other. But we always went out with Bertram and my friend, so we were never alone. Besides, we had a lot of fun without sex.
Finally, we got our chance to be alone, and that’s when I met The Beast. Ladies, let me tell you, I ain’t been right since!
We were at his place, after having spent a few hours together around town. It was really hot that day. I remember because his apartment wasn’t air conditioned. We didn’t just jump right into bed, of course. When we first arrived, we just sat on the couch in his small living room, talked and listened to music.
The sun was still shining when we first got there so he never turned on the lights. By the time things got physical, the sun had set and the only light in the room came from moonlight shining through the window.
The music, moonlight and summer heat made it easy to get caught up in the mood. Besides, he was a good kisser. So when his hands started to roam, I didn’t stop them. I didn’t object as he began to fondle and caress me, especially since he obviously knew what he was doing.
Since it was summer, we weren’t wearing many clothes. I had on a sundress and he wore shorts and a t-shirt. Therefore it wouldn’t take long for us to undress each other. But, before his shorts were even unzipped, he suggested we move to his bedroom. I eagerly agreed.
He led the way down the dark hallway, so his back was to me. His bedroom was even darker than the living room. Moonlight still poured in, but the window was smaller so there was less light. Plus, he was a real chocolate brotha, with skin so dark it was hard to see him at all. In other words, I didn’t get a chance to check out his package before it was unwrapped.
He gently removed my clothes, kissing and caressing me the entire time. I closed my eyes and reveled in how good he made me feel. Then we stretched out on his bed and it was my turn to undress him. Removing his shirt was easy. But, I had a problem with his zipper. His huge bulge stretched his shorts so tightly I couldn’t get the zipper to move!
“Let me get that,” he whispered. He stood up and with his back to the bed, he removed his shorts and boxers. Then he turned around and I found myself staring down the barrel of the most ridiculously huge, rock hard penis I’d ever seen.
I was paralyzed with shock and fear. That thing was enormous! It was long, it was thick and it looked like it could swallow a small child!
“My God,” I thought to myself. “Where the hell does he think he’s going to put that thing?”
Before I could blink, he was back on the bed putting on a condom. I’d bet my life savings that he had to special order his condoms because even magnums wouldn’t fit on that thing!
He finally noticed that I hadn’t moved. “Are you okay?” He asked. “Do you still want to do this?” I’m sure he had to have been with women who took one look at that thing and said “Oh, hell no!” And to be honest, I’m glad he understood that I could still say “no” at any time.
But as scary as that thing looked, I just had to give it a try. I had to. To walk away at that point would have been like standing at the base of Mt. Everest and not even trying to climb!
And climbing would be the only way to conquer this Beast. I had to get on top at first, or my lady parts might not ever be the same again. So I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer and mounted that enormous stallion.
Ladies, you know how we do. When it’s our first time with a man, we try our best to impress, right? We “put it down” on him, and even show off a bit.
Well that night, the only person I could impress was me for even trying to work with that big ol’ thing! Forgive me for being graphic, but I couldn’t even get the damn thing all the way in!
Forget fancy moves, I was doing good to even do the basics! Thankfully my moves worked and it didn’t last too long. And to his credit, Mr. Big Stuff tried to be very gentle and was almost apologetic. He knew his stuff wasn’t normal.
Somehow, I managed to make it through round two, but then I was done. And no, I didn’t have an orgasm. He offered to take care of me orally, but I declined. I was all kinds of tore up down there. All I wanted to do was go home and soak in a hot bath. I hurt for days afterwards.
To this day, I haven’t encountered anyone like Mr. Big Stuff. I’ve had my share of well-endowed lovers (and thankfully very few tiny ones), but none have come close to the Beast. It’s a good thing, too. Mr. Big Stuff proved to me that there really can be too much of a good thing.
What about you? Have you ever encountered one so big it scared you? Or scarred you? I’d love to hear all about it!