Tag Archives: sophia ned-james

Growth and Expansion by Sophia Ned-James

First of all, my sister, your beauty is boundless! Everything about you is lovely and lovable, so don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. You’re already a work of art, made in God’s image, so love who you are right now!

That said, you must continue to grow and expand. And that means letting go of anything and anyone that no longer serves you. Just like your hair won’t grow unless you trim the dead ends, you won’t grow unless you get rid of the dead weight. It’s way past time to unload all that unnecessary baggage, lighten your load, and expand!

Don’t worry, though. A lot of that dead weight will fall away naturally. Because as you continue on your journey of growth and expansion, you will alienate, intimidate and even infuriate some people. And that’s okay! Not everyone will be able to handle the new you. Truthfully, some of them don’t deserve the current you, either.

So stop wasting your emotional energy on people who are never emotionally available to you. Instead, devote your valuable time and energy to those who feed your soul and help you grow.  Just keep moving forward and trust that the right people will love and encourage your journey, even when they can’t travel it with you.

#growth #expansion #selflove #selfcare #BlackWomen

Monday Motivation by Sophia Ned-James

Sisters,

In this life, you will experience defeat, but you won’t always be defeated. Every heartbreak, setback, or failure may bring you low, but trust and believe, you won’t stay down forever.

Pain is temporary, and victory is imminent!

Read that again.

Remember those words. Write them down if you have to. Repeat them to yourself whenever you feel sadness, fear, or doubt.

And when you’re having a bad day, week, month, or even year, remember to dig deep within and tap into that all that strength and resilience that got you to this point. Then pick yourself up, shake yourself off, adjust your crown and go build your world!

You got this!
#LoveYourselfFirst

5 Ways To Do Better By Black Women by Sophia Ned-James

Sisters!

We all know that #BlackGirlMagic is real because we live it, breathe it, and manifest it every single day. We’re out here making strides and building legacies. We’re thriving and breaking down the same barriers that held our foremothers back for centuries.

Yet somehow, we Black women are still perhaps the most maligned, abused, and mistreated demographic in the world! We’re woefully underpaid and overworked. We’re constantly underestimated. We’re always expected to take whatever’s offered and do more with less. And on top of all that, we’re expected take care of every-damn-body.

Listen. It’s time to turn things around and change the narrative. We deserve better, so we must demand better. As the saying goes, we teach people how to treat us. Well, we need to start teaching people how to treat us with the awe, reverence, and respect we deserve. 

Here are FIVE THINGS we can all stop doing RIGHT NOW that will make the world a better place for all Black women:

1. STOP judging a Black woman’s beauty by European standards (skin color, hair texture, and body size/shape);
2. STOP judging a Black woman’s strength by how she copes with oppression and abuse;
3. STOP judging a Black woman’s worth by whether or not she’s in a romantic relationship;
4. STOP judging a Black woman’s womanhood by whether or not she has children; and
5. STOP judging the value of a Black woman’s emotional or physical labor by her willingness to provide that labor for less than it’s actually worth.

Let’s do it for the diaspora, for Black sisterhood, and for OURSELVES!

~Art is “Internal” by Mia Bergeron. Neither SuzyKnew! nor I own the rights to this artwork.

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift for June 23, 2019

I long for the day when a Black woman’s strength isn’t measured by how much mistreatment she can endure. When you’re strong because you have to be, people tend to forget that you can be vulnerable or that sometimes you need help. And it’s easy for them to ignore your humanity because they think you can take it. Sure, we can take it. We can take whatever life dishes out, and look damned good doing it, too! But we shouldn’t always have to.

#NotYourMuleAnymore #StrongButHuman #BelieveBlackWomen #RespectBlackWomen#ListenToBlackWomen

~Art: African Woman by Psichodelicfruit

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift for June 9, 2019

Self Love Is Everything!
Stop letting the opinions of others determine your self-worth! You’ll always be “too much” for some or “not enough” for others. Instead, focus on embracing who you are right now and loving yourself unconditionally. That doesn’t mean you should stop trying to improve yourself, only that you should love yourself as you are now. 
When you learn to love who your are regardless of what others think about you, you’ll live a happier and more fulfilled life. Self love is everything!

~Art is “South African Woman” by an unknown artist and I don’t own the rights to this image

 

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift, March 23, 2019

The moment you stop looking elsewhere for love, acceptance, and validation is exactly the moment when you’ll find those things within yourself. Learn to love yourself as deeply and as fervently as you love those around you (especially the ones who don’t even deserve you). Trust me. When you begin to believe in your own beauty and brilliance, you won’t have any time for the naysayers or the negativity they bring.  You’ll be too busy basking in the warmth of your own light and truly living your best life! #SophiasSundayUplift #SundayUplift #SelfLove #Love #Acceptance #Validation #BelieveInYou

~Sophia Ned-James (Art is “Teenie Weenie Afro” by Melanoidlnk)

 

 

 

Healing – By Sophia Ned-James

I have to give credit where credit is due. Royce* has proven, once again, that settling down with him was the best decision I’ve made in a long time. Ladies, don’t fall for the Okey-Doke! Your man may be puttin’ it down in the bedroom, may be fun to hang with and may even be helping you out financially. But if he isn’t capable of using his love to heal you when you need it, then he isn’t getting the whole job done!

I recently went through a devastating, life-changing experience: the sudden death of a close friend. I mean, I was knocked flat on my ass with this one. I’m talking weeks of ugly crying, regular screaming fits and random acts of violence against whatever glassware was handy. Your girl embraced grieving like it was chocolate: I consumed it and it consumed me. This came close to breaking me.

Royce not only stayed with me during my darkest moments, but by really helping me to begin my healing process. He didn’t try to subdue my grief. On the contrary, when I shattered glass after glass in anguish, he just swept up the pieces and purchased new glasses. When I screamed until my throat was raw, he gave me tea with lemon & honey. He combed my hair when I hadn’t touched it for days. He fed me even after I swore I’d never eat again. He put up with my morning breath, uncombed hair, and snotty nose and called me beautiful in a way that made me believe him. And he knew exactly when, where and how I needed to be touched.

Y’all, that man’s touch was a soothing balm! It was better than the Benadryl I used to help me fall asleep! It was better than the whiskey he’d sometimes slip into my tea!

Whether it was his hand on the small of my back at the funeral, telling me he’d never leave my side; his tight grip on my hand right before I got up to eulogize my friend, reminding me to look at him when I felt lost or afraid while I spoke; or the gentle hands that held my face as he kissed my tears; Royce’s touch got me through the worst few weeks of my life.

And he knew exactly when I needed to be touched intimately, and to allow our bodies to do what they do best. He’d been so patient during my bereavement, never making any demands on me at all. But somehow he knew when the time was right.

We were at his place. It was nighttime. He was watching the game in his den. Exhausted, I took a long shower, turned off the lights and climbed into his bed. The television was on, but muted. Pandora was playing 90s R&B softly. I was emotionally and physically drained, but restless.

I must have dozed off, because the next thing I felt was Royce’s body behind mine. Actually, the first thing I felt was his big ol’ dick poking me in my back. I expected to be irritated because sex was the last thing on my mind since losing my friend. But then I felt his soft kisses on my neck, and his warm breath made me shiver. And for the first time in weeks, my body responded with something other than sadness or anger.

You’d think that Royce would be tentative with me, a little hesitant at least. But he wasn’t. He boldly kissed and stroked my body knowingly, as if he dared me to resist. How did he know I need this, I asked myself. How could he possibly know, when I didn’t even know myself?

He was patient, but persistent. I didn’t feel rushed, but there was no stopping the inevitable. And surprisingly, I was ready.

Fully aroused, I surprised Royce when I quickly flipped him onto his back. Before he could utter a word, I kissed him even harder than he’d kissed me. And then I climbed on top of him, rubbing myself shamelessly against his muscled thigh.

He got the hint and shifted us so that I was right on top of his throbbing cock. I moaned the moment my clit made contact with it. But I didn’t let him enter me. Instead, I roughly knocked his hands away and made my way up to his face. Carefully planting my knees on either side of his head, I paused. I don’t know. I guess I wanted his permission.
I watched his eyes, which seemed to sparkle in the television light. I didn’t have to wait long for my answer. He roughly grabbed my ass and pulled me onto his face. His attack on my re-awakened pussy was so fierce, I had to hold onto the headboard for support.

He didn’t waste any time with niceties and subtleties. He ate me like a starving man. For the first time in far too long, I gave into the intense pleasure of his mouth and tongue.

It felt exquisite! It felt sublime! It felt so good that in no time at all, I had a powerful orgasm that left me breathless. I was barely coherent when I slid off of his face and onto the bed beside him. He quickly pulled me into his arms for a tight embrace.

When I could finally speak, I whispered “How did you know I needed that?”

“I know you,” he answered, stroking my back.

I quickly recovered. Pulling him on top of me, I welcomed his weight. He felt whole and real and alive. I was almost desperate to touch every inch of him. So I rubbed and squeezed and grabbed every part of him I could reach.

When he finally entered me, I felt filled in a way that’s difficult to describe. It’s almost as if every stroke rubbed away some of my sadness. He was gentle, but his strokes were powerful. He pulled me into his rhythm effortlessly. And even though I wanted it to last forever, I was anxious to make him cum.

Sex is always great with Royce. But this was something different. It was more than pleasurable, it was healing. I didn’t just feel good, I felt better.

I can’t explain it, y’all. All I can tell you is that my man’s moves that night changed something inside me. It’s like his dick was a weapon knocking out the grief that had occupied my body and spirit. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true. Making love to Royce that night helped me begin to heal.

Now y’all know your girl Sophia is no stranger to the benefits of amazing sex. But until now, I’d never experienced healing sex. I highly recommend it, ladies. I hope that each and every one of you finds someone who will do for you what Royce did for me. Not just the sex, but all of it. Like I said, dude was my rock!

So seek ye a king who will slay your demons with his dick! But be careful. That’s the kind of shit that’ll get you sprung!

*Royce is my man’s internet name. I keep his government name between us for obvious reasons.
Photo Credits: sirsplayground.tumblr.com, 25.media.tumblr.com, haightashburyco.tumblr.com

About Last Night – By Sophia Ned-James

Passion in bed

His phone rang just as he was kissing his way down my body. Perfect timing, I thought. What a fitting end to a pretty shitty day.

“You gonna answer that?” I asked with an attitude, bracing for an end to the blinding pleasure his tongue gave me.

“Nope,” he said, glancing up at me. I was a little surprised by the intensity of his gaze. “I’m a little busy right now.”

“But aren’t you expecting a call from your boss?” I asked, gently grabbing his head before he could lower it again.

“I said,” he paused and grasped both my wrists with one of his strong hands. He removed my hands from the side of his head and continued

“I’m a little busy right now. So please, Sophia. Lie back and relax, Baby. Let me do this.”

I quickly complied and before I could protest further, he’d worked his way down to the place between my legs that he’d already claimed so long ago. As usual, he took his time and started off slowly, giving my tender clitoris a chance to harden and grow in his mouth. He licked and sucked, gradually pulling me into his rhythm, his pace.

I moaned when the tip of his taut tongue hit that one spot, his spot, on the side of my clit. Royce* has gotten so good at reading my body, he knew exactly when and how to tease that spot to make me wetter. As usual, it worked, and soon I was moaning and writhing to my own rhythm.

One of his hands held onto one of my hips, limiting my movements in a way that was both frustrating and erotic. His other hand crept up my body and grabbed my breast, tweaking my hardened nipple once, twice, and a maddening third time. I arched my back to give him better access, and he responded with just a little more pressure from his tongue.

He continued to tease my nipple with one hand while his tongue and lips worked their magic. He slid his other hand under my ass and gave it a good squeeze. Somehow, he managed to both squeeze my ass and use his thumb to tease my pussy which, combined with the way his tongue lashed at my clit, drove me right to the brink.

I tried to grab his head, to hold it in place so that I could get to where I so desperately needed to go. But he thwarted my efforts, moving his head just out of my reach. This meant his mouth abandoned my pussy and I groaned in displeasure.

“Shhh,” he whispered, kissing my inner thigh. “I’m gonna let you cum, Baby. Just not yet.” He paused for my response. When I had none, he continued. “Are you gonna let me take my time, Sophia?”

Gritting my teeth in frustration, I nodded. “Good,” he said, kissing my thigh again, only a little higher this time. “Now where was I?”

He slid both hands under my ass and raised my hips off the bed. Leaning closer, he licked and then kissed my thigh again. Only this time, he was closer to his target.

“Was I here?” he asked, his deep voice teasing. He kissed me again, even closer. “Or here?” He kept repeating this all while licking and kissing the entire area around my pussy, but never actually touching it.

It was too much to bear. I needed his lips and tongue back on my clit where they belonged. But he was hell bent on making me wait for it.

Unable to help myself, I reached my hand down, hoping to give myself some relief. Royce gently, but firmly moved my hand away. “I thought you said you’d let me take my time,” he chastised, his deep voice rumbling. I could feel his breath on my pussy. It tickled.

Again, I didn’t answer him. All I could do was moan in protest. I both hated and loved when he tortured me like this.

My silence didn’t go over well. Before I knew it, Royce flipped me over onto my stomach and smacked my ass just hard enough to sting, but not hard enough to hurt. I almost came right then.

“Your man asked you a question, Sophia.” Now he was lying beside me, his warm breath on my ear as he slapped my ass again. “Are you going to let me take my time or not?” Hmm?” Another smack, this one a little harder.

“Yes,” I moaned. My voice cracked a little, and I hadn’t realized that I’d been holding my breath.

“That’s better,” he crooned. He stroked my bottom softly and said, “Now lift that ass in the air for me so I can lick my pussy from behind.”

While Royce took my sensitive love button into his mouth, he somehow managed to stick his finger in my pussy, while he simultaneously played with my butthole. It felt so good I couldn’t stop myself from moaning loudly.

“Yes!” I begged. “Right there! Please … don’t stop!” Royce didn’t stop. He sucked harder and stroked faster. Feeling the pressure build, I thrust my pussy harder onto his face. My hips seemed to have minds of their own because I was no longer in control of my movements.

I thrusted, and he sucked. I rocked back and forth, and he stroked. I may or may not have begged him to go harder and faster, but he did so anyway, sending me careening towards that sweet abyss.

My orgasm tore through my body like a typhoon. I think I screamed his name, but I can’t be sure. That’s because all my senses seemed to fail me, except for the sense of touch. All I could do was feel, and it seemed like every single nerve in my body was on fire.

It was one of those long-lasting, intense orgasms, too. The kind where you squirt a little, and end up panting afterwards.

It was exactly what I needed.

I don’t know how long it took me to catch my breath and come to my senses. But when I did, Royce was lying on his side next to me, propped up on one elbow, watching me. His expression would have seemed smug under any other circumstances. But he had every reason to be proud of himself.

My clit was still twitching with the aftershocks when I managed to say, “Damn! That was incredible, Baby.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. No let’s get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.”

“But don’t you want me to …?” I started, reaching my hand towards his massive, hard dick.

Royce shook his head. Then he leaned over and kissed me softly on my lips. “Tonight was all about you,” he whispered. Immediately, my eyelids got heavy. He continued, “I can wait until morning. You had a rough day and needed that. So let’s get some rest and we’ll continue this tomorrow.”

I slept like a log that night.

*Royce isn’t my man’s real name. I keep that info to myself to protect his privacy.