Tag Archives: oral sex

Lost Panties At The Pier – SIZZLE WITH SOPHIA

I was going to call this post “That Time I Lost My Panties Having Sex on a Public Pier”, because that’s exactly what happened.  But that title is way too long.

So … Have you ever done it in public?  Talk about exciting!  There’s nothing like some good, old-fashioned, almost-get-caught-in-the-act public sex, y’all!

Disclaimer: Just so we’re clear: I am NOT encouraging you to break the law.  If you decide to have sex in public and get arrested, that’s on you.  Don’t waste your one phone call on me, cuz I ain’t got no bail money, and I only wear handcuffs for fun.  So before you catch a case gettin’ your freak on, carefully consider your surroundings.  And for goodness sake, make sure ain’t no kids around!

That said, you really should give public sex a try.  Honestly, I haven’t felt anything quite as thrilling as a thigh-quivering, spine-tingling orgasm in public.  The earth didn’t just move, it fell off its axis!

And yes, I really did lose my panties.

Here’s what happened:  I was with one of my favorite ex-boyfriends, Brandt*.  After spending most of the evening shooting pool with his friends in a loud bar, we found the peace and quiet of his car refreshing.  So we decided to just drive around and talk.

The conversation went from generic topics to sexy banter in no time.  Soon we found ourselves at a riverside park, making out in the car like a couple of horny teenagers.  Now it’s not as though I haven’t had my share of car sex through the years.  But, as a member of the “grown and sexy” club, there are just some things I’m a little too old (and curvy) to do anymore.

When I first suggested we leave the car to take things further, I figured we’d find a nice grassy spot near some trees or bushes.   Brandt had other ideas.  Taking me by the hand, he led me to this long pier that led a few hundred feet out into the water.  It’s a popular pier from which people fish or jump in the water to swim, etc.  At night, the lights on the pier are lit, and they’re spaced every few feet apart along its length.  But the spacing of the lampposts also creates pockets of shadows where, on a moonless night, it’s hard to see.

Luckily for us, it was a cloudy summer night, with the quarter moon only making intermittent appearances.  Brandt led us to one of the shadowy spots near the far end of the pier.  While there were no lights shining directly upon us, anyone looking hard enough could definitely see us.

I was eager, but a little nervous.  My biggest concern was lying bare-assed on a dirty old pier.  Fortunately, Brandt had grabbed a small blanket from his car, though.  Don’t you just love a man who comes prepared?

With public sex, there really isn’t time for seductive undressing.  Basically, you just get rid of any clothes that’ll get in the way.  So that’s what we did, pretty much just taking off everything from the waist down.  Very unromantic.

But as we positioned ourselves on the blanket, the thrill of what was about to happen got me excited again.  The cool breeze from the river felt good in the humid air, tickling my skin.  And even in the waning moonlight, Brandt’s chocolate, sculpted body looked amazing.

Brandt quickly took the lead and after kissing and stroking me a little, he headed downtown.  The reason Brandt is one of my favorite exes is because dude could literally teach a Masters-level course on eating pussy.  He’s so good, he probably has “superior pussy eating” listed on his Linkedin profile.

Usually, Brandt takes his time licking me and always makes me cum at least twice.  But since we were outside on a public pier, we didn’t have that luxury.  He went down there on a mission, aggressively taking command of my pleasure and had me writhing in no time.

You know how sound travels farther at night?  Well, anyone on that end of the river certainly got an earful that night.  I couldn’t help it!  Brandt’s tongue was on fire!  And lying there, half-naked and exposed was thrilling!  So, yeah, I got loud.

But before I could cum, Brandt flipped us so that I was on top.  Oh, what a glorious ride!  The breeze, the lapping water beneath us, and the thrill of possibly being seen … it all added up to HOT!  I rode that thick, throbbing dick of his hard and fast, and didn’t even try to stifle my screams and moans.  And since Brandt is such a gentleman, he made sure I came before he did.  But he was loud as hell, too.

I was so spent from my orgasm, I barely even noticed my scraped knees.  If it had been possible, I would’ve fallen right to sleep.  But, one major downfall to having public sex is that there’s no time to bask in the afterglow or cuddle.  We had to hurry and get dressed before we got caught.

Only one problem:  I couldn’t find my panties anywhere!

We were already pushing our luck, so I had no choice but to finish dressing without them.  It wasn’t until we were leaving the pier that we noticed my panties floating in the water below us.  Somehow, in the heat of passion, we’d knocked my panties right into the river!  We laughed so hard, we could barely walk back to the car.

I realize how lucky Brandt and I were not to get caught.  But that night it will go down as one of my best sex-capades, ever!

What about you?  Have you ever done it in public?  Do tell!

Photo Credit: beautifulinsideandout.1992.blogspot.com

*Brandt isn’t his government name, of course.

Sophia Ned-James is the pseudonym for a Metro Detroit-based freelance writer, blogger, and novelist.  Committed to writing fantasy and erotica in ways which celebrate all women, Sophia seeks to provide a safe place for women to explore and own their sexuality without judgment or shame.   To keep up with all of Sophia’s escapades, be sure to like her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/sophiasizzles and follow her on Twitter at @sophianedjames.


Bad head: is there anything worse?

That was a rhetorical question, of course.  I can think of a whole lot of things that are worse than bad oral sex, like the 2016 U.S. election results, global warming, and AIDS (World AIDS day is today…).  And the death of Prince.  And Ann Coulter.  And the fact that Neiman Marcus sells frozen collard greens for $66, plus shipping and handling. (Really, Neiman Marcus?  Really?)

But still.  Bad head sucks, no pun intended.

You know it’s bad when you push his head away, scoot back and ask “What the heck are you doing?

That actually happened to me!  Thankfully it was a long time ago and pretty much forgotten until I recently ran into the guy.  When he came up and said “Hi”, I knew he looked familiar, but couldn’t quite place him.  It wasn’t until later that I remembered he was Bad Head Guy, the worse pussy eater I’ve ever met.

Bad Head Guy was way too deficient in oral skills to be a grown ass man.  He was downright lousy at it, which is sad because he claimed to enjoy doing it.  That’s more than I can say for some of these dudes out here who are good at it, but wanna act all stingy with their favors.  Those guys irritate me, too.

Bad Head Guy talked a good game beforehand, so I was eager to give him a try.  He enthusiastically went down there promising to send me to the moon, but from his first ill-placed lick, I could tell he didn’t know what the hell he was doing.

Y’all know me.  I’m not at all shy about expressing my wishes when it comes to sex.  I mean, I get that most men won’t immediately know what I like, so I have no problem gently guiding them to all the right spots.  But Bad Head Guy was like that bad-ass kid in school who never listened to the teacher and made everyone miss recess.  He simply couldn’t (or wouldn’t) follow directions!

I tried subtle hints and non-verbal cues, at first.  I nudged him to the right spot with my thigh, and when that didn’t work, I used my hands.  But he paid me no attention.

So I grabbed his head and put it exactly where I wanted it.  You can’t get more obvious than that, right?  That didn’t work either, though!  He just stubbornly kept going at it in the wrong spot, with the wrong amount of pressure and at the wrong pace.

Since my non-verbal communication wasn’t working, I got vocal.  “No, not there,” I said.  “A little softer and slower, please,” I moaned.  “Again, not there,” I pleaded.  All to no avail.  He was too rough and erratic, treating my tender yoni like an ear of corn at the family cookout.

Finally, I just had to stop him completely.  My amorous mood was gone and all I wanted was to get dressed and leave.  At that point I knew the only way I was having an orgasm that night was to go home and give one to myself, courtesy of my B.O.B. (battery-operated boyfriend).

But even when I stopped him, he misread my cues!  He sat up and grabbed a condom as if after that failed attempt, I was gonna let him all up inside me.  Um, nope!

In fact, HELL NOPE!

Like I said, I have no problem showing a guy how I like to be pleasured.  Every woman is different, so I don’t expect a man to be perfect the first time we’re together.  It takes time to learn each other, and a lot of it is trial and error.

But most grown ass men know the basics: pay attention to her responses, her breathing and how she moans; and for God’s sake, follow her lead!  And most men can at least follow very simple, very specific, verbal instructions!

However, if I have to bring your pitiful efforts to pleasure me to a FULL STOP, then clearly we have a problem that’s not going to be resolved by having sex.  In other words, what you NOT gon’ do is have any use for that damn condom!

I tried to explain to Bad Head Guy that he just wasn’t making me feel good.  He interrupted me and said “That’s because you won’t let me do my thang, Baby!  I know what I’m doing down there!”

No, sir.  You obviously don’t.

I hate being interrupted, especially when I’m horny and frustrated.  So to avoid punching him in the throat, I just quietly got dressed.  He tried to catch an attitude, telling me I should at least reciprocate so he could get off.

Yeah, right.  Ain’t no way I’m about to reward bad pussy eating with a good blow job!  Reciprocity is earned, so, “Boy, ‘bye!”

Somehow I managed to leave his place on a cordial note. I don’t think he fully understood just how awful his head game was, but that was going to have to be someone else’s problem.  I was done.

Can you believe his nerve, though?

Ladies, never settle for bad oral sex.  Learn what you like so you can help guide your man to all the right spots.  Don’t be shy about letting your wishes and desires be known.  Just don’t waste your efforts on a man who won’t listen.  It’s your pleasure, so he should follow your lead.  ‘Cuz bad head sucks!

Photo Credits: furnituretoyourdoor.com

SIZZLE WITH SOPHIA: My Adventures With Grapefruit And YouTube

I know it’s been a minute, y’all.  I’m taking a brief break from writing to focus on a few personal issues.  Not to worry, though.  I dug up a fun piece I wrote back in late 2014 about an attempt to add a little “juiciness” to my sex game.  I hope you enjoy it!

There are lots of reasons I love the internet: this blog, Facebook, Twitter, and the ability to research any topic from the comfort of my home.  Yeah, it has its flaws.  But if used correctly, the internet can be a vast ocean of information and ideas.

Despite my erotic posts, I’m not an official sex expert.  I don’t know everything there is to know about sexual pleasure, so I’m always open to learning new things.  And now that I’m booed up, I have a vested interest in finding new ways to keep things exciting in the bedroom.

So when some friends suggested a certain YouTube video about a new blow job technique involving grapefruit, I was all over it.  Not only do I trust these women to give sage advice, but I also love any excuse to learn something new about sex.  Besides, every woman needs to up her BJ game every now and again, right?

Have y’all ever watched any of Auntie Angel’s YouTube videos?  I hadn’t.  So, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.  But I was told that this new grapefruit technique was sure to have my man climbing the walls, so I watched.  And then I watched it again.  And then I went to the grocery store.

Let me pause here to tell you a few things.  First of all, the video is just over 3 ½ minutes long, so it won’t take much of your time.  And Auntie Angel is clear and succinct.  She’s not pornographic or nasty, either.  It’s just a straightforward, instructional video on how to use a grapefruit as another tool to please your man.

I wasn’t prepared for the sound effects, though.  That’s why I had to watch it twice.  I don’t want to ruin it for you, but after the first time, I wondered “am I supposed to sound like that when I suck dick?”  Trust me, I’m not a silent sucker, but damn!  I wasn’t ready for all that!

Anyway, the bottom line is that you cut off the ends of the grapefruit (preferably a pink or ruby red one), then cut a hole in the middle of it approximately the size of your guy’s dick.  Then, while sucking his head, you use your hand to slide the grapefruit up and down his shaft, twisting and turning it as you go.

Oh yeah.  I almost forgot:  you’re supposed to blindfold your guy first.  I mean, what man is going to just let you come put a grapefruit on his dick, right?  And you’re also supposed to warm the grapefruit up in warm water before you begin.  I forgot that last step.  But, I’m getting ahead of myself.

I watched the video twice and decided that this was a fairly easy trick I could try with my Boo.  Since he always goes out of his way to please me sexually, I thought I’d treat him to something new.  So before he was scheduled to come over, I ran to the grocery store to pick up some ruby red grapefruits.

That’s where I encountered my first problem.  At my favorite market, all of the grapefruits were huge!  I’m talking really big, like the size of a baby’s head!  They were way too big for my hands.

I started to panic, digging through the pile of grapefruits like a madwoman.  And y’all know how delicately fruit is stacked at the store, right?  If you pull one from the near the bottom of the pile, the whole thing comes tumbling down.

So here I am, squeezing one giant, obviously genetically enhanced grapefruit after another, trying to use my entire body to block them from spilling all over the floor.  A few escaped, so now I’m chasing these big ol’, rolling grapefruits up and down the fruit aisle.  I’m cursing and mumbling and sweating … and to make matters worse, I damn near knocked over a sweet old lady shopping for lemons!

Did I mention that I got to the store about ten minutes before it closed?  And that Boo was due at my place within about a half hour?  So going to another store was out of the question.

I was just about to give up, thinking I never should have waited until the last minute to do this when I remembered something Auntie said in the video.  She said if you can’t use a grapefruit, a large navel orange would work.  I looked to my left and there they were: bright, beautiful navel oranges that were just the right size.  They could easily accommodate my man’s girth and yet were small enough for me to squeeze with confidence.  I bought three.

Getting the Boo to allow me to blindfold him was even more challenging than the trip to the store.  He’s pretty open to new things, so when I broke out one of my scarves, I was shocked that he hesitated.  I really had to talk him into it.  This threw me off my game which is why I forgot to warm the orange up before slicing it.

Had I really been thinking (and not so hurried), I would’ve had the orange soaking in warm water before he even got there.  But, hindsight is 20/20, right?

Anyway, by the time I convinced him to let me blindfold him, I was nervous and felt even more rushed.  So I quickly cut the ends of the orange, made the hole and joined him on the bed.  And then I started.

Thankfully, despite all the mishaps, it was a success.  It wasn’t the mind-blowing success I’d anticipated, but he liked the way it felt … a lot.  I think he would’ve enjoyed it even more if he hadn’t kept asking “What is that?  What are you doing?”  I finally let him remove the blindfold and he relaxed.  We went on to have some pretty amazing sex afterwards.

Word of warning, though: if you’re in a stable relationship where you don’t use condoms, be sure to rinse him thoroughly before he penetrates you after the grapefruit or orange.  Raw citrus burns!  And keep plenty of towels handy because you’re both going to get sticky.

Overall, I’d recommend this technique as a fun way to “juice” things up in the bedroom.  Check out the video and decide for yourself if this is something you’d like to try.  Just Google Auntie Angel and grapefruit and you’ll find it.  Shout out to my friends who recommended it to me.  I ended up having a great night and the Boo is even open to letting me blindfold him again!


A good friend of mine recently asked if I had any tips for dealing with jawbreakers.  No, I’m not talking about that hard, round piece of candy that seems to last forever.  Remember those?

My friend was referring to her man’s penis.  Apparently it’s so thick that she actually has a hard time giving him satisfactory blow jobs.  Her jaws get tired quickly, and she usually has to give up before he’s done.

Poor thing (insert sarcasm and eye roll here).  Don’t get me wrong, though.  I understand my sista’s pain.  Who among us hasn’t experienced tired, achy jaws while orally pleasing a man?  And I’ll be honest.  I’ve been with guys who were just too big to really be effective with my mouth alone.

But to complain about a dick being too thick?  That just seems so wrong!  She should be thanking her lucky stars she didn’t get stuck with a teeny-weeny wienie, right?

Now, I know a lot of things about a lot of things.  But as good as I’ve been told I am at oral sex, I don’t claim to be an expert.  So, before I could give my “poor” friend an answer, I decided to do a little research.

Let me be clear, though.  This was not scientific research or even scholarly research.  This was me asking a few guys, surfing the ‘net and culling my memory for lessons I’ve been taught by very patient lovers from my past.  So I won’t be citing any sources and boring you with statistics.  Instead, these are just a few helpful hints I’ve picked up along the way.

That said, the best way to suck a thick dick without doing permanent damage to your jaws is to make sure it doesn’t last too long.  In other words, you want to make him cum relatively fast without that seeming to be your goal.

So, to that end, here are Sophia’s Tips for Handling Jawbreakers:

  1. It all starts with attitude, ladies.  I don’t care how horny your guy is, if you’re not into pleasing him orally, he won’t enjoy it as much.  In fact, your enthusiasm is a big part of his enjoyment!  So, talk it up like you can’t wait to take that big, thick cock into your mouth.  Tease and excite him by telling him how much you love sucking him.  And when you’re actually doing it, moan along with him.  Make it sound like you’re devouring your favorite meal.  Be careful of over-doing it, though.  No need to over act.  Just be genuinely thrilled to please your man.
  2. The coronal ridge. Located at the back of the head of his penis, this area is very sensitive.  Intense suction and moisture here, especially as he gets close to his climax, will give your jaws a break and send him to the moon.
  3. Balls! Don’t neglect the balls, ladies.  Again, to give your jaws a break, be sure to lick and suck his balls, too.  And even while you’re sucking, using your hands to gently manipulate his balls adds to his enjoyment.  Watch his responses, though.  Not all balls are created equal.  Some men like ball action more than others.  Get to know what your man likes and go from there.
  4. Don’t stop at the balls! Yes, I’m talking about that sensitive area between his scrotum and his anus.  Your man will deny this in public, but trust me.  Stimulating this area with your finger and/or tongue is an erotic winner!  And it’s also a nice way to give your jaws a break.
  5. Don’t stop there, either. I’m talking rim job, anus action … whatever you want to call it.  Again, you have to know your man.  Some men don’t want you anywhere near there.  Then again, some men do but are ashamed to admit it.  That’s okay.  It’s his call.  But if you’re brave and he’s open, a well-timed, well-lubricated finger in his anus while you’re sucking him hard can bring on an explosive climax.  Or, as another way to relax your jaws, use your tongue there.
  6. Introduce him to B.O.B.! That’s a Battery Operated Boyfriend, also known as vibrator.  Consider using a small vibrator to stimulate his prostate.  When you penetrate a man’s anus, especially during oral sex, the stimulation to his prostate is exciting.  If you and your man are daring enough, inserting a small vibrator into his anus as you vigorously suck his cock can work like magic.
  7. Deep throat isn’t just for the movies! This takes a lot of practice and can be challenging to do with a thicker cock.  The key is to concentrate on relaxing the muscles at the back of the throat.  Remember that your salivary fluids are thicker at the back of your mouth.  So to maximize his enjoyment, try to accommodate his sensitive head back there.  It does take practice, though.  And patience on his part.  But just think about how much he’ll appreciate you being willing to master this trick!
  8. You’ve got two hands, so use them! Dick cannot be sucked by mouth alone, especially a bigger one.  Using your hand along his shaft as your mouth stays near his head does a few things: it mimics a vagina, it allows for you to rest your jaws, and if done correctly, can hurry things along.  Be creative, too.  Don’t just limit yourself to up and down motions.  Twist your hand along his shaft (just be sure you’ve lubricated it with your saliva); remove your mouth altogether and use your hand alone; vary your speed according to his wishes and reactions.
  9. Communication! I know it’s a cliché, but communication really is the key.  Encourage your man to be open and specific about what he likes.  I, for one, love it when my man gives me instructions.  It turns me on to hear him say things like “Use your hand, baby” or “Suck a little harder”.  I encourage him to tell me what he wants by telling him to do so, especially during the foreplay leading up to the blow job.  By doing so, he feels more comfortable expressing his wishes, taking the guess work out of it for me.  This leads to faster, more intense orgasms on his part and more comfortable jaws on mine.

I’m still not ready to concede that having a man with a thick dick is anything more than a blessing.  But blow jobs are called jobs for a reason.  They can be hard work.  And hard work plus substantial girth can lead to sore jaws.  Hopefully, these tips will help my friend and any other woman out there who needs it.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.  One last piece of advice, ladies: practice, practice, practice!  And I’ll add this caveat: only be willing to work as hard to please him as he works to please you!  It’s all about reciprocity.  If you play your cards right, your enthusiasm for pleasing him orally will proportionally increase his enthusiasm for pleasing you in the same fashion.


ASK AN OBGYN: How Important Is It To Use A Condom For Oral?

Question- How important is it to use a condom for oral?  Can I get herpes, HIV, or anything else? Does it make a difference if the oral is done on a girl or a guy?


This is a great question.

The short answer is YES!

It’s been hammered in our heads to use condoms for vaginal and anal sex, but oral?  To most people this is a confusing area.

If you have not seen your partner’s recent HIV and STI test results, YES, you should use male condoms and female condoms or another barrier method such as plastic wrap for the vagina.    STIs can be transmitted from the “giver” to the “getter” and back and forth and back and forth (you get the picture).   They can be transmitted through giving oral pleasure to the penis, vagina or anal area.  

But, you should know, in general, the risks of contracting the big uglies are less with oral sex, compared to vaginal and anal.    There are several reasons for this, but the most interesting is research showing that our saliva actually strips down viral proteins– Wow!    However, there are some viruses that love the mouth and some bacteria that thrive in the soft tissue in the throat.

Here is a short-list of the most common sexually transmitted infections that can be transmitted through oral sex:

HIV– According to the CDC, it’s hard to know the exact risk for HIV transmission through oral sex, but clearly the risk of getting HIV through oral sex is lower than vaginal or anal sex.  Your risk of contracting HIV (or any other STI) is higher if there is a sore, broken skin, or the presence of blood or ejaculate.  Oral sex should be avoided is one partner has bleeding gums, oral ulcers, genital sores, or another STI.

Herpes-  This is one that we should all be concerned about.  Herpes is extremely common, in fact between 65%-85% of adults will test positive for herpes by the time they reach age sixty.  That’s right, your grandma may test positive for herpes! Oral herpes (HSV-1) is what most folks call a “cold sore”.   Genital Herpes (HSV-2) is a sore found on, you guessed it, the genitals.   Here’s the problem- HSV-1 and HSV-2 are not polite enough to stay on their carpet squares and will spread to other areas.

Increasingly, doctors are seeing oral herpes (HSV-1) show up on the genitals and vice versa.

Gonorrhea-  Here’s another big one.   Remember when I said that some STI’s like to live in your throat?  Gonorrhea will camp out there, too, and unless you are tested, it can be spread very easily through oral sex.   It’s a very common STI and it’s on the rise.   The CDC estimates that 820,000 people in the U.S. get new gonorrhea infections each year and that less than half of these folks know they have the disease and receive treatment.  To make things even more interesting, gonorrhea is emerging as a super-bug and multi-drug resistant strains have been found in several different countries including the US.

HPV-  We know that HPV causes cervical cancer and is spread through vaginal sex, but new studies show a link with oral sex and throat cancer.   A recent report from the American Cancer Society shows that HPV is now a more common cause of throat and other oral cancers than tobacco.   Wow!   Check out this awesome infographic from Mount Sinai Hospital illustrating the risks of HPV from oral sex.

Hepatitis A, B, C-   Hepatitis is a chronic liver disease that can lead to cancer and even death.   There are vaccines for Hepatitis A and B, but not for C.   Hepatitis A is highly concentrated in  feces, and can be easily transmitted through oral sex involving anilingus.  Hepatitis B and C are viruses spread through blood and semen, and carry the same risk profile as HIV, so a lower risk compared to vaginal and anal sex, but still nothing to ignore.

Keep your oral pleasure sexy and keep it safe!


S. Brockman, RN, MPh.


ASK AN OBGYN is not meant to be a substitute for your doctor or health care provider. Contact your provider with any health issues you may have.

ASK JANICE: Should I Let Him Go Down On Me?

Woman with man behind

Janice, should I let him go down on me? All my friends tell me it’s wonderful, but I just can’t relax. Help! It’s beginning to ruin my relationship. My guy says that if I don’t let him, I’m not really giving myself fully to him. Is this true?

Cheryl in Detroit


Dear Cheryl,

Well, I don’t know about all that “not giving yourself fully to him” stuff.  But I will say that you may be missing out on some serious blessings, girl.  There are few things more delightful than the pleasure a well-laced tongue can bring.  Anyone who has never experienced the soul-jarring orgasm that can result from having a man go down on you is truly missing out on one of life’s mores delicious pleasures (pun intended).

Look.  Many men will lie and say that they either don’t do it, or don’t like doing it.  But they are liars!  And while there are a few selfish men out there who refuse to go “downtown” (unbelievable, I know), most men are willing to because it gives their partners pleasure, often deepening their feelings of intimacy.  In fact, many men actually like pleasuring their women orally!  So, consider yourself lucky that you’ve got one of the good guys: someone who is actually WILLING to go down on you.

Now, I will be the first to admit that not every man willing to take the trip downtown knows what he’s doing.  And there are not a whole lot of things worse than someone being down there, fumbling around, hitting all the wrong spots and missing the right ones; putting too much pressure when a soft touch is required, or not enough pressure when you’re ready to do a little grinding.  In fact, in my humble opinion, the only things worse than bad oral sex are nails on a chalkboard, people who cut me off in traffic, and telemarketers who call during dinner.

On the other hand, when it’s done well it is oh, so very good!

I am not sure why you are having trouble relaxing and letting your man pleasure you orally.  However, I suspect you may have been brainwashed like so many women into thinking that our bodies (especially in THAT area) are undesirable, unlovable and worse, un-kissable.  Such programming is often unintentional and subliminal.  After all, we are taught by advertisers to camouflage our natural scent. There are sprays, inserts, wipes … and many of us remember seeing those hot water bottle douches hanging on the back of our grandmothers’ bathroom doors.  Such images and messages can leave an indelible mark on a young girl’s mind, especially if she is naturally modest.  Maybe you’ve internalized these messages and are now self-conscious about someone putting their face, mouth, tongue and yes … nose down there.

Well, it’s time to un-learn those self-disparaging messages and embrace your body … every single, creamy inch of it!  Before you can ever really give yourself to anyone, you have to first accept yourself the way you are.

Trust me when I tell you that as long as you are clean, your man will love the smell of your essence.  Rather than a pungent odor that must be sprayed with some artificial camouflage, think of your vag as the delightful flower that it is, offering up a heady, sensual scent which is unique to you and only you.  Your scent is like your fingerprint: no one else’s is the same.  Be proud of it, show it off, and let your man enjoy it to the very last drop!


Email Janice at AskJance@suzyknew.com with your intimate question.