Tag Archives: sensuality

The Other Night, Part 1 SIZZLE WITH SOPHIA

His eyes held mine captive. “Tell me what you want,” he said. “Tell me what you need.”

“I just want you,” I whispered.

“Uh-uh,” he replied, shaking his head. Now he held my face in his hands. “Be specific. I want to know exactly what you want from me tonight.”

“Only tonight?” I asked, eyebrow raised.

“Let’s start with tonight and go from there. Okay?”

Taking a deep breath, I nodded.

He stepped even closer. But other than his hands on my face, we didn’t touch. “Now, tell me what you want and need from me.”

I closed my eyes for a moment before I answered. I just had to escape the intensity of his gaze. And while I struggled to form the right words, it occurred to me that how I responded would not only set the tone for the rest of the night, but for the rest of our relationship. So I needed to be as honest as possible.


I opened my eyes. “Yes?”

“Are you going to answer me?”


“Well …?”

And so I told him the truth. “I want you to do to my body what you’ve already done to my mind. And I don’t just want it for tonight. I want more than just one night with you.”

He smiled. “What have I done to your mind?”

“You’ve explored and challenged it. You’ve made me think about things differently, including myself.”

“And you want more than just this one night?”

“Yes. If that’s too much to ask, I’d rather know right now. Tell me now before this goes any further.”

He was quick to respond. “That’s not too much to ask. Not at all.” He released my face and took both of my hands in his. Kissing my knuckles, he continued. “So, I get to explore your body, huh?”

Blushing, I nodded. He grinned and said. “This is going to be fun. Are you sure?”

“Sure about what?”

“Are you sure about wanting to take this ‘thing’ between us to the next level? Because I don’t do flings, Sophia. I don’t do casual. If we do this, we do this right.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, as much as I want to explore that delicious-looking body of yours, I don’t want to go there if all you want is sex.”

“You know that’s not all I want,” I began.

“Well, I didn’t want to presume anything.”

“You’re the one who just said we’d start with tonight and go from there.”

“That’s because I didn’t want to ask for more until I knew what you wanted.”

Now I raised our hands and kissed his knuckles. “Now you know. What happens now?”

He didn’t answer at first. I thought maybe I’d gone too far or said something wrong. He must’ve been able to read this in my expression because he said “I’m sorry. It’s just that …” Now he blushed. “When you kissed me like that, on my hands … I lost my train of thought for a second.”

He quickly recovered, though. His eyes were intense again. “What happens now is that I get to begin my exploration of your body. Now, come with me.”

Holding just one hand, he led me to his bed. I was nervous again, and he could tell. Turning to face me he softly said “Look. We’re both nervous, here. Anyone would be nervous in our situation. Why don’t we agree right now that if either one of us gets too uncomfortable we’ll stop, okay?”


And then he leaned in and softly kissed my lips. I’d daydreamed about our first kiss dozens of times, but this was better than I’d imagined. Even before our lips parted and our tongues met, I felt heat and desire in his kiss. And the deeper the kiss went, the more heat I felt.

I didn’t get to savor the heat, though. Things were happening fast. He began unbuttoning my shirt, his fingers surprisingly adept. I must’ve flinched because he suddenly stopped and ended our kiss.

“Am I moving too fast?”

I opened my eyes and met his. “No. I’m sorry …”

“It’s okay,” we were talking at the same time. Then he continued. “Let’s just both try to relax, alright?”

I nodded and took a deep breath. And this time, I leaned up to kiss him. I could feel his smile even as he kissed me back. When he started unbuttoning my shirt again, I leaned in closer.

He slid my shirt over my shoulders and as soon as it fell to the floor, I reached for his buttons. He broke our kiss and watched my hands as I nervously fumbled with his shirt. I silently wished I was as cool as he’d been.

I must’ve been too slow because he quickly took over the task and removed his shirt in one smooth motion. Then I was face to face with that gorgeous, muscled chest of his. I’d seen it before, but always from a distance. Now it was just inches away, and it left me breathless.

He pulled me into his arms and started kissing me again. This time, I allowed my hands to roam across his broad back freely. Smooth skin, rippled muscles … he felt amazing.

I was so busy relishing the feel of his skin beneath my finger tips that I hardly noticed when he unhooked my bra. Breaking our kiss, he backed up a bit just as I let it fall to the floor.

“Damn,” he said softly. “They’re perfect!” I blushed.

The rest of our clothes seemed to fall away effortlessly. And where I’d usually be quick to cover myself with my hands, he made me feel desirable … and desired.

“You’re so sexy,” he said as he eased my panties over my hips. He bent down to help me step out of them and quickly kissed my thighs and belly on his way back up. “I can’t wait to taste you.”


Stay tuned for The Other Night, Part 2…

Sensuality Without Sex! – Lillian Ogbogoh

Most of the time, when we hear the words sensuous and sensual, there is an immediate assumption to it meaning sexual.  Most people can’t be blamed for this line of thinking. Merriam-Webster defines sensuality as “Relating to or consisting in the gratification of the senses or the indulgence of appetite.” While Oxford defines it as “Of or arousing gratification of the senses and physical, especially sexual, pleasure.”

Sensuality is a state of being where you live from your awaken senses. You can make the mundane & ordinary sensual without the act of sexuality being involved. As a woman who is celibate, sensuality is not off limits to you. In fact, it is your birthright and a divine act of self-love and cannot be taken from you nor does it require another person to activate it in your life.

This assumption that sensuality and sexuality mean the same thing has caused a lot of women, especially faith based women to shy away from their own sensuality fearing it to be lascivious and carnal. Fearing that being a sensuous woman is just one step away from being a Scarlet woman. This could not be further from the truth; as in the true definition of sensuality is about living from your fully awakened senses as a way of being while sexuality is the physical act of sex.

So how can you be sensual and celibate?  First, you need to change your mindset; stop thinking about sensuality in terms of sexuality and sex.  Yes, sensuality can make your sex life more pleasurable, however let’s shed some light on this. Sensuality is about living from your senses that are your taste, sight, smell, feeling and hearing. There are so many activities in life that are sensual that have absolutely nothing to do with sex. Like the simple pleasures of, indulging in a great massage, eating a tasty meal, feeling the touch of silk brushing against your skin, dipping strawberries in chocolate, or even turning up your favorite song thus allowing the music to fully move you and just dance. Enjoy the day you’re in and look around you. Get out into the park, and walk among the roses, take pleasure in the ordinary from sharing that giggly chat with your friends, reading that book, indulging in that delicious cup of coffee. Take the time notice the world around you learning to live in the moment allows you to take full sensory notice of the world around you.

Taking the time to be present is another sure fire way to kick start your sensuality without sexuality. What do I mean when I write be present? Simply put, this means being able to be in the moment. I apologize for how cliché that sounds. Being present calls for you to enjoy the moment and day you are in, in fact it calls for you to be where you are. Stop listening to the noise in your head or checking off your mental checklist. Make a priority to be present with the people you are with, as well as being present with yourself, this calls for you to listen to what you desire and want. Being fulfilled is the mark of a sensual woman. There are various ways to awaken your sensuous nature; your surrounding can be a sensual haven for you. Create a sensual haven for yourself. This is such a simple way to fully awaken your sensuous nature. Throw out those old sheets and towels. Instead buy ones that feel indulgently grand to use against your skin. Redecorate your sanctuary using colors that bring you pleasure. To make you feel amazing, get a nice shag pile rug that feels luscious to walk on. Create yourself a sanctuary, a haven to retreat to.

Turn inward! It is time to form a deep intimate relationship with your amazing body. It is not being sexual in any way. It is about loving the body you are in. This is about taking full ownership of your body and being comfortable in your own skin.  Have you seen those women that just look comfortable at home in their bodies?  There is a joy that can be seen by others. Her sensuality is something evident from the way she moves, to how takes care of her body like it is scared even down to how she dresses and feeds herself.

As you can see being a celibate woman does not exclude from the sensual woman club, your sensuality is who you are not what you do. Sex is invariably linked to sensuality however sensuality can exist with sexuality.

I’m Lillian Ogbogoh, as the Sensuality Discovery Specialist I help women to break up with the mind-sets and thoughts that keeps them feeling unfulfilled and invisible in their own lives. Teaching them how to take center stage in their own lives to attract the amazing life they desire.






Guest Blogger Lillian Ogbogoh: Getting The Passionate Relationship You Really Want

I bet pounds for dollars you are thinking the “who” are getting in the way of your happiness and you would be correct. My mother, who I love dearly, is in a constant battle with the unconscious collective, what I like to call “the invisible they”.  Whenever she is searching for anything from her keys to jewellery the “they” have taken it and whenever I ask who the “they” are, I get the side eye and whatever she was searching for always ends up being in the same place—one of her handbags.

It got me thinking how we all have these unquantified group ideas on people so I termed it the unconscious collective who are standing in the way of us being gloriously happy. What are the unconscious collective? They are generalized ideas that have filtered through and become accepted as the truth; it’s the generalized conversations that keep the embers of gender wars burning which keeps the “us vs. them” thinking firmly in place.  Have you ever been with your girls or the bros and a conversation runs like this:

“Oh my God, can you believe Tina/Michael, he/she said and did x, y and z?”

As you go over what Tina/Michael said and did, someone jumps in saying, “Well that is typical. All men/women are________________” —you get to fill in the blanks— or, “You know what Jim, all women do________ or act like _______________________”

These generalized collective views may be what are standing in the way of what you desire most, that passionate intimate relationship that you really want. Is the unconscious collective becoming clear yet? How about the stories you have adopted and are currently telling yourself?

Like all men cheat, men just want sex, all men lie, women are difficult to deal with, all women are emotional and needy and the best story is it’s a battle of the sexes. These adopted stories are almost universal and generational. Think about it this way, how can you have that juicy, passionate, honest relationship when you hold these viewpoints? When you are thinking that the person you are with will eventually screw up, it’s not an if, it’s a when they screw up.

Are you ready to give up the unconscious collective that keeps you from truly having what you want? The first thing that needs to be done is to change the stories you are telling. The stories we tell consciously and unconsciously color the way we see the world. Never mind what happened to Uncle Fred, Cousin Bob and Grandma Sue in their relationships, you can have and choose something different when it comes to your relationships. Start by cleaning out the old stories to create space for brand new ones; the easiest way to plant new stories is to use declarations, affirmations—whatever you choose to call them—to help lock in your brand new story.

“I have a happy fulfilling relationship”; “The men I meet are open and honest”; “I attract to me women who are whole and happy in the world”; “I am in a relationship with a fantastic guy/girl”.

Feel free to create real juicy ones that resonate with you, only writing things you want in the positive and as if they have already happened—this is the number one trick to keeping the gremlins at bay.

The next way is to be willing to have brand new stories and for that to happen you need to take brand new actions.  Firstly, stop sitting in on the old story session, avoid them like the plague or something worse. If you are somewhere where they are indulging in the old stories, politely ask them to quit it, be it your friends, Cousin Jill or Grandma Sue. It is all too easy to get sucked back into that vortex of old stories.

The next action step is to uplevel your game! If you are saying that all the men you are meeting are_____________ then it’s time to uplevel the type of people you go for,  so if your stories all revolve around the type of men you are meeting it is time to revamp the type of men you are meeting.

The next action step is that you have to be willing to be kind and forgiving to yourself. With this step you have to be willing to forgive yourself for playing with the unconscious collective, forgive yourself for your past choices, be willing to uplevel your game, to close the door on your past firmly once and for all. To say you want and choose a different path for your relationship and be truly open and willing to receive it.  By how you start acting, the choices you make, the stories you hold and tell. Finally, you just have to choose to kiss the unconscious collective goodbye once and for all.

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