Tag Archives: Sophia’s Sunday Uplift

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift (Good for Every Day of the Week)

I know someone needs this message today.

Listen. You’re way too precious to beg for time and attention, Sis. Maybe you’ve simply forgotten your worth. Maybe you’ve been so caught up in “survival mode”, trying to keep your loved ones safe and healthy, that you’ve forgotten how wonderful you are. Is that why you’ve been accepting less than you deserve? Could that be the reason you’re letting someone get away with neglecting your needs? Have you forgotten that you’re lovable and deserve only the best?

Stop accepting scraps from people who don’t appreciate your value. Notice I didn’t say they don’t recognize your value. Because they do. They know full well how amazing you are. They’re just counting on the fact that YOU don’t. They only do the bare minimum for you, knowing that you’ll gratefully accept it from them. So, stop it.

No, really. STOP IT.

First of all, let me remind you that you are more than enough just as you are … flaws, and all. You’re more than enough even with those extra pounds you picked up during quarantine, and even before you’ve completed that degree. You’re enough even though you’ve been out of work for a while, and you’re still not back on your feet. YOU ARE ENOUGH! You’re worthy and deserve only the best: the best treatment, the best loving, the best of EVERYTHING! So stop settling for less, and stop putting up with the bullshit!

Secondly, you need to take responsibility for your own happiness, Sis. It isn’t up to him, her, or them to “make” you happy. That’s on YOU. You’re more in control of your life than you realize, even now, when the world is literally burning. Seize that control and create your own joy. And when you do, you’ll realize that you don’t really need approval from all those people who underestimate and undervalue you. And the people who truly appreciate you and all your magnificence will only enhance the joy you’ve created. Never, ever depend on someone else to make you happy.

Finally, you need to make your mental and physical health a higher priority. Not only do you need to protect yourself from the pandemic, but from all of the other illnesses and ailments that can affect your quality of life. If you lack insurance or are under insured (as so many of us are), get online and research what free or low-cost services are available to you in your state, county, or city. Network with your friends and family to see what resources they use. As Black people, we really need to stop keeping all this stuff so secret, and share what works so that we can all thrive and be healthy. So go ahead and start those conversations with your loved ones. You’ll be surprised how much you can learn from others who may be having the same hardships as you.

The bottom line, Sis, is that you’re too precious to let anyone, even yourself, treat you any old kinda way. You, and you alone, have the power to create your own joy, and divest yourself from people and situations that don’t appreciate your value. Stop accepting bad or even mediocre treatment from the people in your life,  stop looking to others for your happiness, and prioritize your mental and physical health so that you can thrive and live the life you deserve. Now, straighten your crown, hold your head high, and get out there and walk in your purpose!

 

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift for December 1, 2019

SOPHIA’S SUNDAY UPLIFT

Well here we are: at the beginning of the last month of 2019 and the last month of the decade. If you’re anything like me, you may feel like you’re not where you want or need to be in life. You’re probably fretting about what you haven’t yet achieved and what you still need to do. You may even be comparing yourself to others, worrying that you’re being left behind in this race called life.

But my sister, please clear those negative, defeatist thoughts from your mind. You’re not in a race against anyone but yourself, and your own dreams and ambitions. So stop being so hard on yourself! You may not have reached all of your goals for 2019, but at least you’re still here and still fighting. You’ve made it this far, and that’s quite an accomplishment.

Think about it: so far, you’ve survived 100% of all the bad stuff that’s happened to you this year. 100%! So relax those shoulders and unclench that jaw. Take some deep, cleansing breaths, and as you do, inhale love and exhale all that negativity that’s rattling around in that brain of yours.

And remember that guy you just couldn’t live without? Well, you’ve survived every single day that’s passed without him. You may still be hurt … you may even still be heartbroken. That’s okay because it’s perfectly normal to mourn the end of a relationship, and the loss of love. But what’s not okay is allowing your mourning to keep you from moving forward in life.

If you find yourself stuck, unable to break free of that post-breakup, fugue-like, all encompassing funk, then please get some professional help. If you can afford it, or if your insurance covers it, get some therapy. If that’s not an option, talk to your pastor, imam, rabbi, minister, priest, or whomever you turn to for spiritual guidance. Find and join a local support group. Lean on your friends and family. Do something so that you can start your new year in a better place.

The fact of the matter is you have to go through it to get through it, and that includes heartbreak. Whether you need professional help or not, know that ultimately, you’re going to be okay. You will get past this. It just takes time, patience, and support.

In the meantime, try to focus on the good that’s happened. Turn your thoughts to the positive and remember that in 2019, you’ve conquered every single fear you’ve faced, and overcome every single obstacle that would’ve kept you from getting to where you are right now. So give yourself some credit, Girl! You did that!

Also remember that no matter how alone you may feel at times, you’ve got people: family, friends, and friends who’ve become family. They may not always be in your presence, but they’re always in your heart and you’re always in theirs. Someone is praying for you or thinking loving thoughts about you, even when you don’t realize it. Take comfort in that.

I guess what I’m trying to say as we approach a brand new decade is: you’ve done too much and come too damn far to give up now. You are a bad-ass warrior who’s faced down her fears, overcome insurmountable obstacles, and kept going when others would have faltered. As Lizzo says, you’re 100% That Bitch and you’re gonna be just fine.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift for July 14, 2019

“Shhh …”

Black girls and women are too often silenced in today’s world. Either we’re too loud, too aggressive, or we have too much attitude. Some folks even begrudge us our happiness, complaining that we’re laughing too loud in public.

Throughout our lives, so many people “police” our tone and our words: from our elders who shush us when, as little girls, we try to talk about being abused; to some of our own men whose fragile egos seek to stifle our voices and dim our lights for fear we’ll outshine them. And don’t even get me started on the many public forces that seek to silence us or render us invisible! 

How many times have you been told to “calm down” when you stood up for yourself? How many times have you been told that your attitude is the reason you didn’t get that raise or promotion? How many times have you tried to shrink yourself into a space that didn’t really fit you or welcome you?
Well I say stop letting others silence you! Stop allowing others to police your tone or dull your shine! Keep speaking up … in fact, speak LOUDER! Don’t apologize for being who you are, because you are worthy of respect, attention, and all that is good and positive!

Distance yourself from people who can’t handle ALL 100% of you. Remove yourself from spaces that won’t allow your to flourish and shine and grow. Rid yourself of ANY circumstance that doesn’t see or serve you in all your infinite glory!
Always be YOU and do YOU, because you are enough, just as you are. And you DESERVE TO BE HEARD!
~Artist is unknown and I don’t own the rights to this artwork

 

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift for June 23, 2019

I long for the day when a Black woman’s strength isn’t measured by how much mistreatment she can endure. When you’re strong because you have to be, people tend to forget that you can be vulnerable or that sometimes you need help. And it’s easy for them to ignore your humanity because they think you can take it. Sure, we can take it. We can take whatever life dishes out, and look damned good doing it, too! But we shouldn’t always have to.

#NotYourMuleAnymore #StrongButHuman #BelieveBlackWomen #RespectBlackWomen#ListenToBlackWomen

~Art: African Woman by Psichodelicfruit

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift for June 9, 2019

Self Love Is Everything!
Stop letting the opinions of others determine your self-worth! You’ll always be “too much” for some or “not enough” for others. Instead, focus on embracing who you are right now and loving yourself unconditionally. That doesn’t mean you should stop trying to improve yourself, only that you should love yourself as you are now. 
When you learn to love who your are regardless of what others think about you, you’ll live a happier and more fulfilled life. Self love is everything!

~Art is “South African Woman” by an unknown artist and I don’t own the rights to this image

 

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift for June 2, 2019

Sisters,

Strive to be a better person than you were yesterday, and stop viewing other women as your competition. There’s enough shine out there for everyone, Sis. You don’t have to take down another Black woman in order to rise. In fact, you don’t have to “take down” anyone! Remember, you can put your best foot forward without stepping on anyone else’s toes. And you can shine brightly without dimming another woman’s light. 

#SophiasSundayUplift #UpliftBlackWomen #BlackGirlMagic #BelieveBlackWomen #SupportBlackWomen #ListenToBlackWomen #HonorWomanhood 

~Photo courtesy of Pixabay

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift, March 17, 2019

You can surrender to love without surrendering your entire self.
A truly loving relationship won’t swallow you whole.
Real love won’t make you disappear or tear you down.
Remember, a well-tended garden allows the daffodil to bloom without diminishing the beauty of the tulip.
~Sophia Ned-James (Artistic Image is “Black Beauty” by Selene Regener Photography)

#SophiasSundayUplift #UpliftWOC #UpliftBlackWomen #WomensHistoryMonth2019 #HappySunday