Tag Archives: Sophia’s Sunday Uplift

Happy Easter to all who celebrate! Happy Passover Holiday (Chag Sameach) to my Jewish sisters and Ramadan Mubarak to my Islamic sisters!

What a great season! It’s all about purity, liberation, and redemption! And that, along with the onset of Spring, fills me with hope, happiness and peace. No, my life isn’t perfect. Far from it, in fact (but that’s another story for another day). But even as I go through my own personal hellfire, I feel uplifted by the faithful and enthusiastic about the days to come.

For the Abrahamic religions: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, the first week in April 2023 is especially important. For the Islamic faithful, about midway through their month-long observance of Ramadan, this is a time to purify their intentions, words, and actions. For Christians, our Holy week began with Palm Sunday and ends with the celebration of our redemption through the resurrection of Jesus on Easter Sunday. And during the same week (on April 5th), Jewish people celebrated their liberation from bondage during the Feast of Passover. (Source: USA Today)

I don’t know about you, but I find the confluence of these messages about purification, redemption, and liberation especially poignant this year. They fill me with hope for a future much brighter than today. In their purest form, the messages of these sacred celebrations provide basic instructions for how to live happy and fulfilled lives in ways that serve the God we all praise and worship. They’re guideposts, if you will, along the journey of life. And regardless of which faith you follow, this season reminds us all that God can and will lift us out of darkness.

I’m no religious scholar or expert. I’m honestly not even that great a Christian. But I personally don’t believe that you have to be a “perfect” Muslim, Jew, or Christian to be worthy of God’s grace and mercy. We are, after all, only human, and no human is perfect, no matter how “devout”. In fact, some of the very worst crimes against humanity historically have been perpetrated by the so-called “devout”. Remember the Transatlantic Slave Trade? The Inquisition? The Holocaust? The 9/11 attacks? Not to mention all of the abuse that happens on a smaller, but no less insidious, scale in churches, temples, and mosques all around the world.

Even today, it’s those “devout” Christians seeking to ban books, control girls’ and women’s bodies, and eliminate anyone who doesn’t ascribe to the patriarchal, hetero-normative traditions they espouse. It only takes a cursory glance at recent headlines to understand that, as a society, we seem to be moving backwards. If you’re familiar with The Handmaid’s Tale, the book or the series, then you’ll understand what I mean when I say that Gilead isn’t some fictional dystopian future. Gilead is here.

And yet …

As dreadful as the world seems right now, I still dwell in a place of hope, mercy, and grace. Despite all the forces that work against the good in our world, I feel optimistic about the days to come. Because I believe the forces of good will defeat the forces of evil. I believe that love will triumph over hate, and that justice will prevail. It won’t just happen overnight, though. It’s going to take a lot of hard work, and everyone is going to have to help. But with purity of intentions, words and actions, we can all be liberated from the bonds of hate and division and find redemption in our better selves. Our very survival depends on it.

If you’re feeling hopeless and lost, look around you. See the buds forming on the trees? After a long winter, the very sight of them gives me hope! Step outside and just breathe for a moment. Even if it’s chilly and cloudy where you are, can’t you feel Spring in the air, with its promise new growth and coming sunshine? Keep breathing deeply, Sis. Allow the renewal of Spring to renew your spirit. Then re-connect with your faith, whatever that may be. And allow yourself to hope.

Maybe I’m naive to feel so optimistic. Or maybe I’m just faithful to the tenets of my beliefs. But I believe my Redeemer lives, and that’s all I need to have hope.

Have a great week!

(PLEASE NOTE: I know that a few deep breaths of spring air will not help with depression, anxiety, or feelings of loss and despair. If you’re struggling with these and other types of feelings, please know that first of all, you are not alone. Secondly, help is available should you need it. A good place to start is with NAMI – National Alliance on Mental Illness. Call them at 1-800-NAMI (6264). Text them at 62640. You can chat with them at NAMI.org/help. And you can email them at helpline@nami.org. If you’re in crisis and need immediate help, call 988 right now. You got this, Sis.)

UPLIFT by Sophia Ned-James (Week of 2/22/21)

February 22, 2021

Janice Fuller-Roberts

Sophia's Uplift No Comments

Congratulations! You’ve made it! Despite everything you’ve endured, you’re still here. I hope you appreciate just how amazing you are, especially after the year we’ve had. Despite a global pandemic, economic upheaval, social and civic unrest, and increasingly dangerous weather events thanks to climate change, YOU ARE STILL HERE! Go ahead and celebrate this win, Sis. You deserve it.

I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’re actually doing better than you think. You may not have hit your goal weight, but you’re still trying, right? You may not have gotten your dream job yet, but you’re still working towards it, aren’t you? Stop focusing on what you haven’t done or achieved, and congratulate yourself for still being in the game! If you haven’t given up, you’re still in a position to win.

Listen. Life is hard. Really hard. And even though your peers seem to have it all together on social media, they’re struggling just as much as you are. Sure, some have it better than you. But others don’t. And they don’t matter, anyway. Because you’ve got your own journey to travel, and your own victories to claim. Like the elders say, “comparison is the thief of joy”. So stop worrying about what everyone else is doing, and focus on your own dreams and aspirations.

More importantly, give yourself a break. Show yourself some grace. Recognize that you manage to live a pretty decent life under some very extraordinary circumstances. Give yourself credit for doing what you do every single day. After all, not everyone can do what you do. You need to appreciate yourself more. Because you are incredible!

Do me a favor. When you’re done reading this, make a list of 15 things you love about yourself. I got this idea from a YouTuber who is less than half my age, and it changed my entire outlook on life! Like you, I spend too much time berating myself for everything I haven’t done or accomplished. I’m also really hard on myself, so I know how hard this will be for you to do. Honestly? It took me three whole days to finish my list. So I get your hesitancy.

But trust me, Sis. Make the list. Think of 15 things you love about YOU and write them down. You can include physical characteristics, personality traits, anything you want! Go ahead and be conceited. Compliment yourself and gas yourself up! Write down all of those beautiful things you know to be true about yourself, but are often too modest to admit to anyone else. Be as vain as you want, since you’re the only person who will see this list.

If you love more than 15 things about yourself, great! Make your list as long as you’d like. Just don’t go below 15. Don’t stop at 5. When you hit 10, keep going. It may take a while, but don’t stop until you list at least 15 things.

Why 15, you ask? Well, anyone can make a Top 10 List. But you’re better than that. You deserve more. So keep going until you hit 15.

When you’ve finished your list, read it out loud to yourself. But when you do, start each statement with “I love that I …”. For example, one thing I love about myself is that I’m a good friend. So I would say “I love that I am a good friend”. This part is important because you’re telling yourself why you love yourself. And how we talk to ourselves has a huge impact on not only our mood, but our self-esteem, too. Saying each thing out loud, declaratively and with purpose, forces you to speak kindly to yourself, and changes the narrative in your head.

Think about it. Don’t you love it when someone you love tells you why they love you? I mean, hearing “I love you” is always grand. But hearing specifically why someone loves you just feels extra special. Shouldn’t the person you hear this from most often be yourself? Makes sense, right?

Start making a habit of reading your list out loud to yourself on a regular basis. You can do it after your morning prayers and meditation to kickstart your day. Of you can read it every Monday morning to start your week off on a positive note. Whenever you choose to read your list aloud is fine, as long as you regularly do it.

Do it even when (especially when) you feel your worst. Read that again.

Let the wonderful words you’ve written about yourself replace those negative, self-hating words in your head. Let the sound of your voice singing your own praises become your own personal anthem. We all need regular reminders of our greatness, if only to give us the fuel to keep going when times are hard like now. And who better to remind you of your awesomeness than the woman who knows you best: you?

Sis, we live in a world that under-values US. We spend every single day justifying our existence, proving our worth, and fighting to be seen and heard against the backdrop of systemic racism and virulent misogynoir. That’s why we MUST fight for and protect our happiness and emotional well-being. Let your own words of affirmation and self-praise be another weapon in your fight. Because you and I both know, we may not ever hear such kind words from anyone else. So we better learn how to speak them to ourselves.

We often remind each other to “speak life” to our children and loved ones. Let’s not forget to speak life to ourselves. Make the list and read it out loud. Then go on out there and continue to shine!

#SpeakLife #SophiaNedJames #UpliftWithSophia #SophiasUplift #Uplift #UpliftBlackWomen #SuzyKnew #SubscribeNow #BlackWomen

SOPHIA’S SUNDAY UPLIFT (Good for Every Day of the Week)

October 11, 2020

Janice Fuller-Roberts

Sophia's Uplift No Comments

Sister, as you walk your fine ass into this coming week, I want you to OWN IT! Own every inch of space you occupy and every particle of air you breathe. Own it like Senator Kamala Harris owned that mediocre-white-maleness-on-a-stick, Mike Pence in last week’s debate. (When she smiled and said “I’m speaking,” I felt that in the depths of my soul, didn’t you?) I want you to own this week like it’s about to be your best week yet!

Listen. You already know that you’re gonna have to deal with some bullshit this week, right? I mean, it’s always something these days: an idiot boss, with a tenth of your brains and even less of your talent says something sideways; or a mask-less stranger gets a little too close in public. Whatever form it takes, you know some bullshit is coming your way this week, because it always does. Especially during these turbulent times.

But it’s how you deal with the bullshit that matters. So this is your reminder to own whatever comes your way this week, because you already have the power within you to get through ANYTHING. You already have what it takes to overcome any obstacles, roadblocks, or bullshit this week throws at you.

I promise: you got this!

Think about it, Sis. You’ve already survived 100% of the bad things that have happened to you, right? So I’d say the odds are definitely in your favor that you can handle whatever bullshit this week has in store. After all, you’re already a pro at getting through tough situations. You’ve been training for this your whole life.

My point is that you’ve already proven how strong and resilient you are by simply surviving what should have taken you out the game a long time ago. You’re still here, still getting shit done, and still looking damn good doing so. That tells me that you can certainly face this coming week like the Boss you are.

So get out there and OWN this week (and stay safe and healthy while you do)!

#WearAMask #OwnItSis #BlackGirlMagic #Vote2020

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift (Good for Every Day of the Week)

September 13, 2020

Janice Fuller-Roberts

Sophia's Uplift No Comments

I know someone needs this message today.

Listen. You’re way too precious to beg for time and attention, Sis. Maybe you’ve simply forgotten your worth. Maybe you’ve been so caught up in “survival mode”, trying to keep your loved ones safe and healthy, that you’ve forgotten how wonderful you are. Is that why you’ve been accepting less than you deserve? Could that be the reason you’re letting someone get away with neglecting your needs? Have you forgotten that you’re lovable and deserve only the best?

Stop accepting scraps from people who don’t appreciate your value. Notice I didn’t say they don’t recognize your value. Because they do. They know full well how amazing you are. They’re just counting on the fact that YOU don’t. They only do the bare minimum for you, knowing that you’ll gratefully accept it from them. So, stop it.

No, really. STOP IT.

First of all, let me remind you that you are more than enough just as you are … flaws, and all. You’re more than enough even with those extra pounds you picked up during quarantine, and even before you’ve completed that degree. You’re enough even though you’ve been out of work for a while, and you’re still not back on your feet. YOU ARE ENOUGH! You’re worthy and deserve only the best: the best treatment, the best loving, the best of EVERYTHING! So stop settling for less, and stop putting up with the bullshit!

Secondly, you need to take responsibility for your own happiness, Sis. It isn’t up to him, her, or them to “make” you happy. That’s on YOU. You’re more in control of your life than you realize, even now, when the world is literally burning. Seize that control and create your own joy. And when you do, you’ll realize that you don’t really need approval from all those people who underestimate and undervalue you. And the people who truly appreciate you and all your magnificence will only enhance the joy you’ve created. Never, ever depend on someone else to make you happy.

Finally, you need to make your mental and physical health a higher priority. Not only do you need to protect yourself from the pandemic, but from all of the other illnesses and ailments that can affect your quality of life. If you lack insurance or are under insured (as so many of us are), get online and research what free or low-cost services are available to you in your state, county, or city. Network with your friends and family to see what resources they use. As Black people, we really need to stop keeping all this stuff so secret, and share what works so that we can all thrive and be healthy. So go ahead and start those conversations with your loved ones. You’ll be surprised how much you can learn from others who may be having the same hardships as you.

The bottom line, Sis, is that you’re too precious to let anyone, even yourself, treat you any old kinda way. You, and you alone, have the power to create your own joy, and divest yourself from people and situations that don’t appreciate your value. Stop accepting bad or even mediocre treatment from the people in your life, stop looking to others for your happiness, and prioritize your mental and physical health so that you can thrive and live the life you deserve. Now, straighten your crown, hold your head high, and get out there and walk in your purpose!

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift for December 1, 2019

December 1, 2019

Janice Fuller-Roberts

Advice OUR THOUGHTS No Comments

SOPHIA’S SUNDAY UPLIFT

Well here we are: at the beginning of the last month of 2019 and the last month of the decade. If you’re anything like me, you may feel like you’re not where you want or need to be in life. You’re probably fretting about what you haven’t yet achieved and what you still need to do. You may even be comparing yourself to others, worrying that you’re being left behind in this race called life.

But my sister, please clear those negative, defeatist thoughts from your mind. You’re not in a race against anyone but yourself, and your own dreams and ambitions. So stop being so hard on yourself! You may not have reached all of your goals for 2019, but at least you’re still here and still fighting. You’ve made it this far, and that’s quite an accomplishment.

Think about it: so far, you’ve survived 100% of all the bad stuff that’s happened to you this year. 100%! So relax those shoulders and unclench that jaw. Take some deep, cleansing breaths, and as you do, inhale love and exhale all that negativity that’s rattling around in that brain of yours.

And remember that guy you just couldn’t live without? Well, you’ve survived every single day that’s passed without him. You may still be hurt … you may even still be heartbroken. That’s okay because it’s perfectly normal to mourn the end of a relationship, and the loss of love. But what’s not okay is allowing your mourning to keep you from moving forward in life.

If you find yourself stuck, unable to break free of that post-breakup, fugue-like, all encompassing funk, then please get some professional help. If you can afford it, or if your insurance covers it, get some therapy. If that’s not an option, talk to your pastor, imam, rabbi, minister, priest, or whomever you turn to for spiritual guidance. Find and join a local support group. Lean on your friends and family. Do something so that you can start your new year in a better place.

The fact of the matter is you have to go through it to get through it, and that includes heartbreak. Whether you need professional help or not, know that ultimately, you’re going to be okay. You will get past this. It just takes time, patience, and support.

In the meantime, try to focus on the good that’s happened. Turn your thoughts to the positive and remember that in 2019, you’ve conquered every single fear you’ve faced, and overcome every single obstacle that would’ve kept you from getting to where you are right now. So give yourself some credit, Girl! You did that!

Also remember that no matter how alone you may feel at times, you’ve got people: family, friends, and friends who’ve become family. They may not always be in your presence, but they’re always in your heart and you’re always in theirs. Someone is praying for you or thinking loving thoughts about you, even when you don’t realize it. Take comfort in that.

I guess what I’m trying to say as we approach a brand new decade is: you’ve done too much and come too damn far to give up now. You are a bad-ass warrior who’s faced down her fears, overcome insurmountable obstacles, and kept going when others would have faltered. As Lizzo says, you’re 100% That Bitch and you’re gonna be just fine.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift for July 14, 2019

July 14, 2019

Janice Fuller-Roberts

Opinion OUR THOUGHTS No Comments

“Shhh …”

Black girls and women are too often silenced in today’s world. Either we’re too loud, too aggressive, or we have too much attitude. Some folks even begrudge us our happiness, complaining that we’re laughing too loud in public.

Throughout our lives, so many people “police” our tone and our words: from our elders who shush us when, as little girls, we try to talk about being abused; to some of our own men whose fragile egos seek to stifle our voices and dim our lights for fear we’ll outshine them. And don’t even get me started on the many public forces that seek to silence us or render us invisible!

How many times have you been told to “calm down” when you stood up for yourself? How many times have you been told that your attitude is the reason you didn’t get that raise or promotion? How many times have you tried to shrink yourself into a space that didn’t really fit you or welcome you?Well I say stop letting others silence you! Stop allowing others to police your tone or dull your shine! Keep speaking up … in fact, speak LOUDER! Don’t apologize for being who you are, because you are worthy of respect, attention, and all that is good and positive!

Distance yourself from people who can’t handle ALL 100% of you. Remove yourself from spaces that won’t allow your to flourish and shine and grow. Rid yourself of ANY circumstance that doesn’t see or serve you in all your infinite glory!

Always be YOU and do YOU, because you are enough, just as you are. And you DESERVE TO BE HEARD!

~Artist is unknown and I don’t own the rights to this artwork

Sophia’s Sunday Uplift for June 23, 2019

June 23, 2019

Janice Fuller-Roberts

OUR THOUGHTS No Comments

I long for the day when a Black woman’s strength isn’t measured by how much mistreatment she can endure. When you’re strong because you have to be, people tend to forget that you can be vulnerable or that sometimes you need help. And it’s easy for them to ignore your humanity because they think you can take it. Sure, we can take it. We can take whatever life dishes out, and look damned good doing it, too! But we shouldn’t always have to.

#NotYourMuleAnymore #StrongButHuman #BelieveBlackWomen #RespectBlackWomen #ListenToBlackWomen

~Art: African Woman by Psichodelicfruit