Okay. Who hasn’t been tempted to cheat? Or who hasn’t encouraged a friend to step out on her man when she is feeling bad about the relationship?
I admit I’m guilty of encouraging friends to get some love on the side even though I wouldn’t do this myself. When I see how neglected and lonely my friend feels, I can’t take it and need to do something. Her husband’s lack of attention and love affects her self-confidence, her family life and her ability to excel professionally. Who can climb the corporate ladder when there is no support or love at home? Heck. It even affects my being able to have a good time with my friend because each time we go out she goes on and on about how lonely and dejected she feels.
It’s obvious what my friend needs is some love and physical attention. Sure, marriage counseling is all good. But, who has time for that? And, maybe I’m being selfish for suggesting she have a fling so she can feel good about herself again and we can have our old friendship back.
I know it’s wrong. The Bible and other religious books plainly state the adultery is wrong. And, if you’re not religious, you know infidelity can send out bad karma.
But, did you know that infidelity can actually be physically bad for you? Psych Alive recently published an article revealing all: Between 30 to 60 percent of Americans will be unfaithful at some point during their marriage, and infidelity is on the rise, especially among married people in their 20’s. But, not everyone having an affair is unhappy. Thirty-five to 55 percent of those in an affair report being happy in their marriage at the time, according to The New Monogamy. But, it is interesting to note that those who are unfaithful are more likely to engage in risky sex, i.e., not use condoms, increasing the likelihood of becoming HIV positive or catching another sexual disease, according to the International Society for Sexual Medicine, which published the study this year. People who are having secretive affairs practice riskier sex than those in other types of relationships.
So, there’s more than just a moral reason not to be unfaithful. There’s a health reason, too. It’s bad for you.
Next time, I’ll focus on getting my friend to seek counseling.
Your friend will do well to talk to her husband about how she is feeling and get some counseling. Please do not put it in her head to find it someplace else. It will only exacerbate her problem since the affair will probably not last. Besides, maybe her husband is rejecting her because he’s getting it somewhere else too!! They are both at risk of giving one another an STD.
Here’s one suggestion for redeeming physical intimacy in the marriage…your friend could work on being captivating again and be the woman he fell in love with…and the man should continue to pursue her like he did when they were dating. Marriage is work!!!
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