Today, in many countries, we celebrate Mother’s Day. But, how does our relationship with our mothers influence our love lives? Our sex lives?

In 1977, Nancy Friday published My Mother/My Self: The Daughter’s Search for Identity, giving at the time a unique view of the interaction between a mother and her daughter and how it affects a woman’s ability to form healthy relationships with men as well as establish a successful professional life and a life separate from her mother. Throughout our entire lives, we struggle to create an identity that is separate from our mothers, and as we mature we can find that we’ve become more like our mothers. This may dismay us, but it helps us cope with the separation anxiety we experience, as we become adults with our own beliefs, values and lives.

The fantasy bond we have with our mothers can keep us from developing fulfilling relationships with men.  Our relationship with our mother can prevent us from finding the right partner or achieving orgasm. As Lisa Firestone, PhD published recently in Compassion Matters, quoting psychiatrist/obstetrician Joseph Rheingold who studied the power of the mother/daughter conflict in 2500 women that he interviewed in a 12-year clinical research program,

A woman may bring any number of assets to marriage – compassion, wisdom, intelligence, skills, an imaginative spirit, delight-giving femininity, good humor, friendliness, pride in a job well done— but if she does not bring emancipation from her mother, the assets may wither or may be overbalanced by the liability of the fear of being a woman.”

We have a lot to be thankful to Mom for.  But, as we celebrate our love for our mothers today, let’s not forget to protect and value our own identify and love lives.

We’ve heard it many times.

But, we need to hear it again: If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anybody else.

According to Yahoo’s OMG!, Jennifer Lopez, who has now been married and divorced three times and has had other public breakups with stars including Sean Combs and Ben Affleck: “If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anybody else. And I think as women we really forget that. All we want is to be happy, to feel secure, to feel understood,” she explains. “But you can’t look for somebody else to do that for you. But when you really take a good look, you are not treating yourself like someone who does. And when you let people treat you in a way that you don’t want to be treated, it’s not their fault. It’s yours.”

This is a good way to end the month of March, Women’s History Month. How can we make sure we love ourselves and put ourselves first all year round?

Let us know your thoughts?

To all you beautiful, talented, sexy and ambitious women out there – Celebrate International Women’s Day by celebrating yourself – by being kind to yourself. Treat yourself, your reproductive health with the dignity and respect you deserve and others will do the same. Keep your love and relationships beautiful and safe. Happy International Women’s Day!