Ladies, the well-respected Lancet Oncology journal just came out with an article in November stating that there is more evidence that HPV vaccine shields against cervical cancer. So, if you haven’t gotten vaccinated yet, what are you waiting for? Now there are two vaccines: Merck’s Guardasil(R) and GlaxoSmithKline’s Cervarix(R). Health Day News has more information on the subject.
Author Archives: SuzyKnew!
ASK JANICE: Help! I have Walking Orgasms!
Dear Janice,
There is a guy at work who is so exciting to me that I get orgasms walking over to his desk. What should I do?
Embarrased in NYC
Dear NYC:
To me, “Walking Orgasms” are mythical things, like Unicorns or Mermaids. You want to believe they exist, you hope they exist, but the rational part of your brain refuses to believe they exist.
After all, so many women are unable to have orgasms even with direct stimuli! Yes, it’s true. There are many women out there who, even with the aid of vibrating, stroking and penetrating aids, still can’t find their bliss. Even if they are lying flat on their backs, or mounted upon a willing and patient partner.
Thus, I find it difficult to believe that there are some women who are able to achieve orgasm while walking. Heck, I have trouble chewing gum and walking! So, can you imagine being hit with the big “O” while walking?
Now, don’t get me wrong. I totally understand that kind of extreme sexual attraction to someone that renders you powerless over your own body’s responses. I mean, who hasn’t seen the object of their desire and gone weak in the knees? What self-aware woman hasn’t felt her panties get wet and her nipples harden when in the presence of a really hot man (or woman, if that’s your orientation)?
But without direct stimulation to at least one erogenous zone, how does the happy ending happen? How does that moment come where you can barely breathe, your eyes involuntarily close and an explosion happens throughout your body that leaves you limp, relieved and sometimes (if it’s done correctly), sleepy … while walking?
My gut reaction to anyone who “suffers” from “Walking Orgasms” is to be grateful that you can so easily achieve what most of us have to work to get. But, that’s not really helpful. So, I will say this: I have always believed that no matter what anyone else does or doesn’t do, you ultimately have control over your orgasms. Your brain is the most important organ in the whole process. So, knowing you have that kind of reaction to this individual, let the rational part of your brain take control and at least put off your happy ending until you are alone. Work on controlling your breathing, think about something mundane like cleaning your toilets or rearranging your closets. It really is a case of mind over matter.
Then, as soon as you can form a coherent sentence, ask the guy out on a date right away. Because if he can get you off by just his mere presence, he is definitely someone you need to spend some one-on-one time with!
Enjoy!
Send your personal request to AskJanice@suzyknew.com
More Bad News About Yaz and Yasmine Oral Contraceptives
Earlier this year, SuzyKnew shared with you the controversy about Bayer’s Yaz and Yasmine oral contraceptive pills. Now there is more bad news: an ex-official from the US regulatory body, the FDA, claims that the drug maker actually withheld safety information on the pills, showing that the pills increased the risk of blood clots. This week FDA officials will meet to discuss the safety of newer contraceptives such as Yaz and Yasmine. However, oral contraceptives are generally a fairly safe and effective way to prevent pregnacy. Take a look at SuzyKnew’s CONTRACEPTIVES section to help find a method right for you.
World AIDS Day: December 1st
Today is World AIDS Day. Put on your red ribbon and get out and do your part to fight AIDS and help those who are HIV positive. Take a look at what’s going on at the official World AIDS Day site.
Ever Thought About Having 20 Children…?
In August, SuzyKnew wrote about the American family, the Duggars, and Contraception. At the time, they had 19 children. Now, they have just announced that are expecting their 20th child. Yes, they’re serious. 20 children! Only in America.
Duggars are Spawning for the 20th Time!
They refuse to use contraception because they belong to a group called the Quiverfuls that don’t believe in contraception due to religious reasons. While the Duggars believe that they are showing how powerful God is by trusting Him to determine how many children they should have, they are really exemplifying their belief in a limited God that does not provide an image of women larger then their reproductive abilities and empower them to be more than bearers of children.
Three Reasons Why You Keep Reading About Reasons Why You’re Single
If you’re a single lady and out there looking for Mr. Right, you have read your fair share of advice columns and dating books. Sometimes, the more you read, the more you want to continue to read. If you’re still reading about why you’re still single and you have been living the single life for many years – even a decade or two, it’s time to examine why you keep reading advice that obviously hasn’t worked for you. Here are three reasons you might like to consider:
Reason 1: You just haven’t found the right book or piece of advice for you. Sure, each book or piece of advice is helpful. That’s why you keep reading them. But, you haven’t found the book that captures the true essence of why you’re still single. You’re not just some random single woman. But, you’re certain that if you read enough of these books, you’ll find the right love prescription for you.
Reason 2: You’re a romantic at heart and have turned down many offers but are holding out not for Mr. Right but Mr Perfectly Right. You have real hope that he’s out there. We’re taught early on as girls to have an overly idealistic view of love, marriage and family. You’re standards are high – maybe too high – and the books and advice keep you pumped up on romance and hope – maybe as a substitute for the real thing.
Reason 3: This is the reason most of us fall into: Why do all the things we have to do like prepare for tomorrow’s demands at work, handle an unpleasant friend or family situation or clean up the house when we can kill some time by reading about something we feel we less control over: our dating lives. Reading love and advice columns is fun. That’s why you’re reading this now. Here are some reasons why it’s a good idea that you’re still single: Take a look at Madame Noire’s Seven Signs You Should be Single.
What Do Gentlemen Really Think About Oral Sex?
Ahh… Sometimes, it’s hard to know what men are really thinking when they’re down there between our legs taking us to heaven… er.. or hell, if they haven’t been schooled properly. But, how can we find out what they’re really thinking so we can sit back and relax? Who do we ask? Ladies, lucky for you, SuzyKnew found Jezebel’s Dudes Speak Out About Going Down that gives some detailed testimonials on what gentlemen really think about oral sex. Relax and enjoy…
Three Things the US Could Learn from African Countries During Domestic Violence Awareness Month
If you’re reading this from an African country, you’re probably familiar with your government’s efforts to reduce gender-based violence (GBV). These plans probably involve an ambitious and elaborate program to implement a policy to prevent and address gender-based violence that works on increasing police and community awareness and improving access to services for those who have survived the violence. Oftentimes, these plans sound wonderful and get more buy-in from foreign donors than local communities. Cultural norms are hard to change. Nonetheless, many African countries have made considerable headway in increasing general awareness about the problem and have approaches that the US could learn from as it finishes its Domestic Violence Awareness Month of October.
So, what are Three Things that the US could learn from African countries?
1. Awareness, Awareness, Awareness… and More Awareness!
Are you American or do you live the US? If so, did you know October was Domestic Violence Awareness Month? I didn’t. I barely heard a word about it on the radio or TV. My local county library had absolutely nothing on the topic! But, surprisingly, my church did. There was a blurb at the bottom of the Sunday October 23rd program talking about the fact that October was Domestic Violence Awareness month. And I did catch a snippet on the radio about how if you have been sexually assaulted you can still file charges no matter how long ago the assault took place. But this is nothing like I have seen one in many African countries.
During previous decades, a lot of effort was made in the US to increase public awareness and improve battered women’s access to immediate safety and long-term security for themselves and their children. New laws protecting women and children from abuse came about, and it became easier to prosecute offenders. Today, however, after a lot of success, the public is not as aware of the problem and many may think it has been solved or the resources are out there for those who need it. Few understand what issues remain to be tackled and may not be as tuned in as people were when these campaigns first started a few decades ago.
But, this is an issue that affects all of us regardless of which country we’re from. Domestic violence has its cultural nuances but a common link across countries is the involvement of alcohol and the link with disease transmission, namely HIV. Women involved in an abusive relationship are more at risk of getting HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (see Efficacy of an HIV Prevention Program Among Female Adolescents Experiencing Gender-Based Violence).
Is this you, a sister, or a friend?
If you’re living in Kigali, Nairobi, Jo’burg or Cape Town, you have probably seen banners about preventing gender-based violence at your health center, town center, or downtown. More public service announcements (PSAs), banners, and social media networking could be used in the US as they are used in Africa.
2. Get More Groups Involved Than Just the Usual Suspects… Including Men
Maybe if you’re working for a not-for-profit that focuses on women’s issues or human rights or happened to pop into your local Planned Parenthood facility in October, you know all about this. But if you’re like most of us ladies out there, you barely heard a peep about the issue. One thing I have seen in many African countries is that there is an active and very visible effort to get community players that don’t work on women’s issues such as religious establishments, schools, government offices, and health facilities involved. And, often there is a special outreach to men.
Each day, three women in the US die as a result of domestic violence, according to President Obama’s speech marking the awareness month.
Did you know that? I didn’t. Take a look at Presidential Proclamation–National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
While there are men’s groups set up to work on domestic violence in the US, there is not the same effort you see in Africa to get ordinary men in already established community and government groups to get behind the movement. More effort is needed to recruit community groups that don’t focus on women’s issues in order to understand and tackle the remaining domestic violence issues in the US.
3. Put Money Behind the Effort
Lack of funding is another reason domestic violence issues or efforts to help survivors in the US is not as visible. African development projects funded by foreigners often include money for preventing and reducing GBV and supporting survivors. Often, these donor countries themselves don’t have the same relative amount of government funding to support their own gender-based needs at home.
However, there are foundations funded by corporations that focus on domestic violence – such as the Verizon Foundation. Below is a video explaining their work:
Ladies, I say all of this to highlight the need to do more in the US to really make the “month of awareness” one of true awareness. But I don’t want to take away from the good work that many organizations are doing out there in the US and elsewhere to end domestic/gender-based violence. If you or someone you know is going through this, don’t hesitate to find an organization in your part of the world that will work for you. Make awareness about this global problem a reality in your life and take action.
Filipina Gal: Player Playing
Over the summer, I decided to lose my virginity.
…okay, perhaps not really ‘lose’ but more like… be on the path to. I was tired of living vicariously through my friends’ exciting sex lives and random, online fanfiction with lurid, highly sensual descriptions of ‘opposites attract’ love affairs.
Other than a rather sloppy French kiss while watching King Kong with my first (and so far only) boyfriend, my experience with foreplay and other pre-sex activities consisted mostly of, pathetically, the aforementioned sources and my own fantasies. For a Filipina who believes that sex is not a dirty deed that should be postponed for after marriage, trickles of traditional thinking has apparently found their way in my core. Even approaching ‘virginity’ as something that should be preserved and given up for a person I am in love with and who has proven himself worthy of that degree of affection affected my perception of sex. I couldn’t completely disengage and seek pleasure for its own sake.
Five years later, high school behind me and all-women’s school trapping me in a void of testosterone absence, I was ready for some action.
Erm, I must admit, the decision may have hinged more on raging hormones than any true stand to rebel against this traditional side of me. Whatever the reasoning, I found myself one Friday night dragging my bewildered sister to the hippest hangout in the small city I was interning in to look for a pliable victim.
Strange as that motive sounds, still my utter lack of experience (in everything, including bar-hopping, and yes, ‘picking’ guys up) merely allowed me to gaze around. I shied away from boldly looking into men’s eyes. As the night grew dimmer around us, so did my courage and dejection at the lack of progress in my hastily thrown-together plan. Determined to wait it out, I followed my sister to a karaoke bar where – finally – my efforts paid off.
The night was a flurry of brief conversations and drunk dancing (on me and my sister’s part), then Monday night, he called me.
“A thirsty man in the desert may choke on the water he’s too eager to drink,” was a close friend’s statement as I breathlessly recounted my stories. She was about 80% right. I’m not even sure if I just choked… or completely drowned. But when I met this man, good thing I wasn’t looking for anything serious – if I did, he was bad news.
Attractive, cocksure, snobby, and terribly experienced in the dating arena, he knew immediately how to penetrate my head and get me thinking about sex. Not that he needed to – it was already on my mind. But the novelty of his exhilarating attention on me was a rush that brought my body on fire. Even the dates themselves were adventures – shooting ranges, caving, wine bars, varieties of restaurants, and a plethora of adrenaline-inducing promises.
I don’t know how I managed to keep my emotions on hold, but I did. Rationality saved them – and my senses.
As well as my virginity.
Yes, that’s right. Despite thinking about the physical aspect of our ‘fling’ with an intensity that bordered on obsession (and trust me, it was NOT good for my poor, depraved body), I kept a tight rein on myself and my activities with him. I had to mentally condition myself not to get carried away because I knew that underneath the blood pumping madly through my veins every time I saw him, I didn’t really like him all that much. He made it easy, too – shady about certain parts of his life (um, work? Not too keen on discussing that with me), very different value systems and perceptions, and slightly unsavory (in the corrupt, political sense) friends. I was wary of his personality, and even though I might be free with my body, I couldn’t consign the full level of my trust in his care.
But I explored – a lot. From using cotton headbands as soft handcuffs to panting touches, it was exactly what I wanted and needed: a preliminary step into an unknown territory with an experienced partner to guide the way. And because I was flippant about him, I was, for the most part, guarded from any dangerous attachment that could lead me to compromising certain parts of myself that I wanted untouched.
At the end of the summer, however, when everything dwindled down to a final phone call and text message, I realized that despite putting the whole ‘falling-in-love’ plan in the backseat, it came back with full force as I left the Philippines and headed back to the US. What I had was an amazing learning experience – but it was as insubstantial and ephemeral as the heat chased away by autumn rain in the beginning of fall.
And I actually… dated another man, too.
The Injectable Contraceptive Could Double the Risk of HIV for East and Southern African Women
In early October, the prestigious medical journal Lancet published the results of a large-scale study that indicated that women living in East and Southern Africa using the injectable contraceptive appear to be at double the risk of HIV infection compared to other women. Furthermore, those women who are already HIV positive and are using the injectable have an increased risk of transmitting the disease to their partners This contraceptive, whose brand name is Depo-Provera, has generic versions on the market and is used by 6 percent of the 12 million women aged 15 – 45 in the East and Southern African region. In this part of Africa, the injectable is the most popular form of contraception due to its convenience and is now feared to be helping spread HIV/AIDS. This Lancet article has led the World Health Organization to organize a meeting to discuss what advice should be given to women living in the region. For additional information see Allafrica.com: http://allafrica.com/stories/201110060977.html