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FAM And The One-Night Stand: The Roses Of Fertility Awareness

Contraceptives Fertility Awareness Reproductive Health 2 Comments

The New Year is off and running, and I bet  even if you didn’t make an official list of New Year’s resolutions, you’re thinking of how to be your best empowered self this year. As the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) is steeped in sexual and body empowerment, I’m sure it’s right at the top of your list as birth control methods to check out. By learning to not fear our bodies, we start to love them and know them and by that we begin to undermine patriarchy, or the male-power found almost everywhere in our culture. Go us!

There’s just one problem: remember that time over the holidays when you had too much spiked eggnog and ended up in the back room with your cousin’s friend? Do wonderful, hot rendezvous like that have to end when you use FAM? And, for that matter, isn’t true only monogamous women use FAM? You know: those women whose partners help them take their temperature? No! You can use FAM as a single, thriving, non-synthetic hormonal birth control-using woman!

Most FAM-ers (monogamous and not) use barrier methods (have a goalie, so to speak…) to prevent pregnancy, so that’s what we’re going to focus on. Remember, only male and female condoms prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV. Be your best self and see what method is right for you.

4 Ways to Use FAM and Have a One-Night Stand:

1)    Use a Condom.  Women, never leave the house unprepared! What I love about condoms is how easily they are carried, making sure you’re never left scrambling when things get hot and heavy. I’ve carried condoms in my purse, pockets, bras, and even my underwear. You never know what could happen! While some people scoff at condoms, social norms are changing, and condom use is becoming more and more accepted. If the guy protests, tell him to get with the times, or go find his hot friend. What else do I love about a condom? Clean up is all on him.

2)    Think Outside the Male Condom. To be honest, I had not heard much about the female condom until the last year. But, the more I learned about them, the more interesting they are to me. There’s even  female condom day, click here for the SuzyKnew article. Basically, they are like a larger condom that covers the inside of your vagina, from your cervix to your outer vagina lips. Like the traditional condom, they prevent STIs, pregnancy, and are disposable. What do I like about them? Women are in charge of using them (read: they will be used well), and can be an essential part of foreplay (according to Planned Parenthood, I’ll let y’all know when I’ve checked it out). Enhancing the foreplay? Yes, please. Additionally, because they are shaped differently from male condoms, more sex positions can cause the female condom to stimulate your clitoris (clitoris = pleasure center). And what woman doesn’t need more of that during sex? They are more expensive than male condoms, and there’s definitely a learn curve involved.

3)    Think Outside all the Condoms. Two other prominent non-hormonal forms of contraception are the diaphragm and the cervical cap. These girls are inserted and cover your cervix to keep those little swimmers from reaching one of your eggs. They don’t protect you from STIs, but they are effective at preventing pregnancy when used well. My favorite thing about them is that they are reusable, and so are very cost-effective. Additionally, they can be inserted hours in advance, which is awesome, especially if you don’t know what the night holds.

4)    Chart Accordingly. Thanks to Toni Weschler, the bad-ass woman who is in many ways responsible for popularizing FAM, you can have a comprehensive chart to record ALL your exciting happenings, not just your temperature and cervical fluid. After a one-night stand, be sure to record it, along with the barrier method you used. This will help you understand any deviations in temperature (alcohol can cause a temporary higher temperature) or number of days in your cycle. 

What Does It Mean To ‘Clean House’ For A New Year? ASK JANICE

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Dear SuzyKnew Readers,

First of all, Happy 2014, everyone!  If you’re like me, you were anxious for the New Year to begin.  A new year means new beginnings, and that’s exciting and exhilarating.  I love the idea of embracing the whole “out with the old and in with the new” concept and am always glad to have an excuse to “clean house”.

A lot of people make New Year’s Resolutions – everything from promising to quit smoking (or other bad habits) to vowing to lose all the weight gained during the holidays.  And I applaud everyone who makes these resolutions and sticks to them, I really do.  However, New Year’s Resolutions just aren’t for me.  For one thing, I’m always trying to lose weight and break bad habits all year long.  Sometimes I’m successful (I’m proud to be a former smoker) and sometimes, I’m not (I still need to lose half my body weight).  But, when I’m not successful, I don’t wait all the way until January 1st to try again.  I just pick myself up, dust myself off and try again immediately, no matter what the date is.  So, I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions because I can never come up with any real resolutions that I’m not already trying.

However, I do like using the occasion of a new year to “clean house” in my personal life, and I encourage you to consider doing the same thing.  When I say “clean house”, I don’t just mean getting rid of those clothes that are out dated and let’s face it, I’m never going to be that size again.  I also don’t just mean getting rid all that junk collecting dust in closets, junk drawers and storage spaces.

When I talk about “cleaning house”, I’m talking about getting rid of the junk people in your life!  We all have junk people: so-called friends that only call when they want something; people who spend more time talking about you than they spend talking to you; that one friend who always talks down to you or tries to make you feel stupid; that “friend with benefits” who only uses your body, but offers nothing to your soul; that guy you keep sleeping with even though you know the relationship is going nowhere; that jerk who spends your money, drives your car, saps your energy, uses your precious body, but only gives you stress and heartache; the cheater who promises to change, but never does.  I could go on, but you get the idea.

Well I say, kick off 2014 by “cleaning house” and getting rid of all these toxic, junk people!  You don’t need them!  Why are you holding onto them?  They’re keeping you from being your best self and are probably keeping you from your best blessings.  Let them go!  Get rid of them!  Toss them out with those dying poinsettias, that fruitcake you’re never going to eat, and the rest of your holiday garbage.

Instead of making New Year’s Resolutions, make a Life Revolution!  Revolutionize your life by only allowing people into it who will actually elevate you and bring out the best in you.  Life is challenging enough without having junk people wear you down even more.  So, choose to surround yourself with people who genuinely want what’s best for you … who will lift you when you’re down and bolster you when you’re up.  Surround yourself with people who bring out your A game, help you to operate at optimum levels and challenge you to be your very best!

Don’t get it twisted, though.  I’m not telling you to surround yourself with “yes” people … folks who will only tell you what you want to hear.  Real friends will always be real with you.  They will support you when you’re right and challenge you when you’re wrong.  They see your potential and will help you realize it.  And sometimes, that means that they have to call you on your s^%t.  Sometimes, they have to tell you things about yourself or your behavior that are hard to hear.  But, they aren’t doing it to bring you down, though.  They do it because they love you and want to elevate you to your highest potential.  They see greatness in you that you may not even see in yourself.  These are the people you want in your life.

I know it isn’t easy to get rid of any kind of junk, especially junk people.  It’s painful to let anyone go, even people who are bad for us.  But it’s time to put your big girl panties on and do what is best for YOU.  And if that means letting go of a junk guy who may be good for an occasional orgasm or two, but constantly brings you down or breaks your heart, then let him go.  You know the relationship isn’t going anywhere.  And you know you’re only holding onto him because you think that having a piece of a man is better than having no man at all.

But honey, that is a great big old lie you’re telling yourself!  You’d be much better off alone than being someone’s “afterthought booty call”.  You really don’t need him and more importantly, YOU DESERVE BETTER!  So let him go!  Let all the junk people in your life go!  Make room for the right person or people to enter your life!  You don’t have to be mean about it, or make some big announcement about it.  Simply stop taking their calls or responding to their texts.  Unfriend them on Facebook and unfollow them on Twitter.  Erase their names and numbers from your contacts list and don’t look back!

Readers, I challenge you to use this new year as a starting point for your new life.  It won’t necessarily be an easy thing to do.  You may even shed some tears.  But shedding the dead weight of junk people will make you feel as light as if you’d lost a ton of body fat.  And we all know that junk people can be just as damaging to your health as those pounds you’re trying to shed.  However, getting rid of the junk people doesn’t require a new gym membership or fad diet.  It just takes resolve and self-love.  And trust me, if you “clean house” in your personal life, 2014 will be your best year yet!

 

North Romney? Why Can’t Kanye West’s Daughter Marry Mitt Romney’s Grandson

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Recently, MSNBC talk-show host Melissa Perry-Harris had the whole country in an uproar following her museful comment that maybe Mitt Romney’s Black grandson would grow up to marry rap singer Kanye West’s daughter North West. Mitt’s grandson Kieran, which means “black,” was prominently featured on the Romney 2013 family Christmas card, which never includes the entire Romney clan because they’re so large.  Many found Perry-Harris’ remark mean-spirited, insensitive to people who have adopted interracially,  or inappropriate because it involved children who are innocent of their parents’ political follies.

But, why can’t North West marry Mitt Romney’s Black grandson?  And why do people find it offensive for suggesting the union?

Kieran and North West

Isn’t North West good enough for Kieran? Are people suggesting that Black women aren’t appropriate mates for Black children adopted into white families, especially prominent families like the Romneys?  Have Americans become so “classist” – in addition to racist – that suggesting marriage between the two can only be seen as a political joke at best and just plain wrong at worst?

Over the last few years, much has been written about large numbers of Black women in the US never marrying and the fact many American men prefer to marry any woman but an African-American one.  Nightline and Oprah came out with their pieces a few years back. Just a few months ago, an article entitled Today’s Non-News: Man Won’t Date Black Women appeared on the Root. While interracial marriage among Black Women and non-Black men have increased in the States, it remains uncommon, prompting some African-American women partnered with white men to devote blogs to the issue such Beyond Black and White.

Melissa Harris-Perry was right for raising the issue. Maybe she was hinting only at the political aspects of the Romney Christmas card. But, her remark touched a nerve in those of us who find hypocrisy in the argument that there is nothing wrong with interracial adoption but there is something offensive to suggest that the “precious interracially adopted baby” may marry someone from his own background.

For all of you Baby Norths out there.  Remember you are precious, lovely, and deserve to marry the man who values and loves you the most – whoever his parents may be!

 

Keeping it sexy!

SuzyKnew!

5 Things FAM Users Say To Their Partners: The Roses Of Fertility Awareness

Contraceptives Fertility Awareness Reproductive Health 3 Comments

As 2013 comes to an end, SuzyKnew brings you more on what to expect when using the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) or natural birth control:

1. “What was my temperature?” While this may be something you ask your partner when you suspect a fever, a FAM-er asks this question everyday. Temperature is the most well known sign of ovulation (when an egg drops), and if the temperature shifts up, watch out! You could get pregnant. The reason we ask our PARTNERS is because in FAM, our partners can share the responsibility of tracking our fertility. One of the main ways they do this is by taking our temperature for us while we’re still nestled in bed.

2.  “Does this look like lotion or cement?” Another sign that you may be close to ovulating can be found your panties. By looking at the consistency of your cervical fluid, or the liquid stuff you see in your underwear (it’s the equivalent of semen for women, minus the sperm). At the beginning of your cycle after you finish your period, your cervical fluid may be kind of sticky and dry, like cement. Later in your cycle you may notice your fluid to feel and look more like lotion – this means you’re close to ovulation! Use the condom!

3. “I can’t today. I feel too wet.” While I imagine that a statement like this could bring a grown man to tears, it’s something we FAM-ers may say at least once a month! When we’re close to ovulating, our fluid changes from lotion-y to slippery and wet feeling (our bodies try to help the little swimmers out). This wet feeling is different from the one you feel when you’re turned on. This one stays even when you’re mad at him!

4. “I’m on my period! Let’s do it.” While many women (and men) can be grossed out having period sex (or, as I saw it called in a book, “Surfing the Crimson Wave”), it’s actually a great time to do have all the unbarrier-ed sex and not worry about pregnancy! According to Toni, you are safe to have sex the first 5 days of your cycle if you had a temperature shift about 2 weeks prior. What does that mean? Bust out the shower sex.

5. “I’ll join you in shower after I check out my cervix!” The last sign of where you are in your cycle is checking out the position of your cervix. Never felt your cervix, you say? Let the lovely people at the Beautiful Cervix Project help you get started. When your cervix is hard, low, and closed you’re less likely to get pregnant than when it’s higher, softer, and slightly open. This sign, is hardly ever used on it’s own for birth control, but rather just helps you confirm what you’re seeing with your temperature and fluid. I always check mine right before I jump in the shower. I’m naked then anyway, right?

Obamacare For SuzyKnew! Readers ASK AN OBGYN

Ask an OBGYN Reproductive Health No Comments
Your friendly doctor

Dear SuzyKnew,

 I hear a lot about how Obamacare helps older people and sick people with large medical bills.  I’m a healthy single woman in my mid thirties.  I have no kids and only see my doctor once or twice a year when I get sick with a bad cold and for my birth control pills.   How does Obamacare help me?  

 Thanks, Sandra

 Dear Sandra,

Obamacare required all insurance companies to dramatically upgrade their plans to include all Americans and to provide preventative healthcare.  There are LOTS of benefits for you.  The US Department of Heath and Human Services (the government agency that implements healthcare policy) has a great info graphic explaining the benefits to women.   Here are a few benefits that will apply to you:

1)    You are entitled to free check ups and screenings for diseases like breast and colorectal cancer, diabetes, asthma, heart disease and HIV.  The idea here is that if a disease is found early, you and you doctor can work together to keep it in check.   If you are able to manage a chronic disease, then you won’t end up in the hospital.  Makes sense, right?

2)    I’m guessing that even if you had great insurance before, you were still paying for your birth control pills.   Birth control can be very expensive, costing the average women $600/year. Under Obamacare, all FDA-approved birth control methods are available without co-pays. This includes pills, birth control shots, implants, intrauterine devices (IUDs), and sterilization procedures. (See About.com Contraception to see which birth control option may fit your lifestyle/health condition)

3)    Down the road, if you do decide to have a baby, you will be covered.   Many older plans offered maternity benefits as an expensive add on. Young women found themselves in a catch 22- Do I pay for maternity benefits before I need them? But what if I get pregnant and don’t have coverage?  Too often this resulted in delayed care.  The new law solves this problem by providing maternity coverage as an essential benefit.  And if you do become a mom, Obamacare covers the costs of breastfeeding equipment without a copay, and requires your workplace to offer break time and a nice place (not a bathroom) to pump breast milk.

4)    Obamacare increases coverage for mental health, social work and substance abuse services.   These vary by individual plan, so if you are currently under the care of a mental health counselor or doctor, you will want to look at this carefully when choosing your new plan.   Some good basics are covered, but not as comprehensively as primary medical care.

This is all very good news for our country, and especially for American women.   Many experts and leaders have said that Obamacare is the single greatest achievement for women’s healthcare in their lifetimes.   Take good care, and go see your doctor to get all the preventative care services you now have access to!

 A Note to our Readers: This question is most  relevant to SuzyKnew’s readers in the United States where historic healthcare legislation is being implemented.   Known as “Obamacare”, after President Obama, this law provides essential services to improve the health of all Americans.  For an overview see www.whitehouse.gov

 

Should I Stay With The Father Of My Child Or Go Back To The Guy I Really Love? ASK JANICE

Ask Janice 1 Comment

Dear Janice,

I am a very confused lady right now. A few years ago, I met this wonderful guy, and I fell in love with him. At the time, he was at university and I hadn’t yet joined. Unfortunately my sister who worked in that university was not happy about the relationship and made him suffer. I  was experienced with relationships while he, on the other hand, was not. I mostly decided what to do when we were together. Then, I got bored with the whole relationship and we decided to end everything.

We both moved on but kept our friendship strong. He met this lady and together they have a daughter. But. now things are falling apart. His lady is not interested in the relationship. As for me, I met this guy and together we have a beautiful girl. The problem is we are both sickle cell carriers and this daughter of ours is a sickler. My boyfriend on the other hand is a drunkard and at times he even ends up urinating on himself.  A part from all that, he always comes back home late and he is never home, be it a weekend or public holiday.

But, this ex of mine is a fun-loving person, loves dancing, hanging out and that is exactly what I want in a guy. My current boyfriend on the other hand is a total bore, he only goes out with his friends. I have fallen in love with my ex and he claims he has changed and grown up. I believe him coz I can see it. What can I do ????

***

Dear Confused Lady,

Ah yes, falling back in love with the ex-boyfriend … I’ve been there and done that and even have the T-Shirt!  So, don’t worry, yours is not an uncommon problem.  However, as there are kids involved, you do have to be careful.

Let’s take both of these men separately.  Your current guy, the father of your child, sounds like he has some major issues.  Not only does he sound very immature (only hangs out with his friends, when he has a wonderful woman and daughter to spend time with), but he probably has a serious drinking problem, too.  That is a very toxic situation for you and your daughter.  I’m sure that in his few sober moments, even he probably realizes that he doesn’t want his child growing up in a home where his behavior is so erratic that he urinates on himself.  And I know you don’t want that for your daughter, either.  So, regardless of what happens with your ex, you need to remove yourself from your current situation right away.

Run, girl, run!  End that relationship quickly, before someone gets seriously hurt.  Of course, I hope your current guy gets help.  But, it’s not your responsibility to stick around to make sure that he does.  Get out, now!

Remember, though, you’ll probably have to agree to some kind of visitation arrangements regarding your daughter.  Just make sure they are supervised visits.  In fact, you should probably document all of his crazy behavior because you may end up in court over this.  But, that will all come later.  For now, get out!

As for your ex, I suggest you tread very carefully, there.  I want you to think about a few things before you go back into a relationship with this guy.  First of all, there are two children involved.  And while his current relationship may be falling apart, he has to do what’s best for his child.  Dumping his current girlfriend for you may jeopardize his ability to see and raise his own child, and if that happens, he’ll end up resenting you in the long run.

If his current relationship is really on the brink of ending, I suggest you wait it out.  Let him end that relationship before you agree to see him romantically again.  In order for him to have a clean break with his child’s mother, that relationship needs to come to its own conclusion and should have nothing to do with you.  If you’re the cause of their breakup, it can and will get ugly.  Because no matter what, she’s the mother of his child.  That means he will have to deal with her in some capacity for the rest of that child’s life.  And if you want to be a part of his life going forward, you can’t be the reason he leaves his child’s mother.  Trust me.  You don’t want her as an enemy, because she will undermine your relationship.

Secondly, you claim that you can see that your ex has grown up … that now he’s exactly the kind of guy you want to be with.  But you need to ask yourself if that’s really true.  Are you seeing that he’s matured because he’s had a child and has had to grow up?  Or has he really changed so much, that he’ll be completely different this time around?  Remember, you left him because he was a bore and you had to take control in the relationship.

You know the saying “the grass is greener on the other side”?  Well, it really never is.  The grass is the same … always.  So be careful, here.  You see things you like in your ex when you compare him to your current boyfriend.  Well, compared that guy, Jack the Ripper would seem like an angel!

I want you to take a cold, hard look at your ex, not through the prism of your current boyfriend’s issues, but with fresh, objective eyes.  Is he really so different from the guy he was when you were with him?  Or are the same qualities that drove you away still there?  Is he just putting on his best behavior when you’re around?  Or is he truly transformed into a whole new man?

Someone older and wiser once gave me some great advice.  She said that you should never, ever backtrack to old relationships.  She claimed that the reasons you left to begin with are still there.  They may be polished up and shinier than before so you’d hardly recognize them. But, they’re still there.

I do know of people who have broken up, only to reunite later and have a happy ending.  In fact next month, I’m going to the wedding of one such couple, who’d been separated for more than 20 years.  So, yes, sometimes going back to the ex-boyfriend really does work.  But, those success stories are very rare.  You and your ex may very well be another exception to the rule.  But, you must take things slowly.

Stay away from him and let him get out of his current relationship, first.  This will make it easier for him to still be able to see and raise his child … and the child’s mother may be more accepting of you in the future.  And believe me, you’re gonna need her as an ally.

Then, after you really evaluate whether or not this guy has really changed for the better, go ahead and give the relationship another shot.  But make sure you ask yourself the hard questions, first.  And by all means, remember that there are two children involved and their well-being must come first for everyone.

Good luck.

ASK AN OBGYN: Does Breast Cancer Affect Women Of Color More Than White Women?

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Dear SuzyKnew,

I’m a 28 year old black woman and recently someone told me that breast cancer affects women of color more than white women.  Should I be worried?

*****

Dear Worried:

Breast cancer affects all women, but the disease affects women differently, depending on their race, socio-economic status and where they live in the world.

If you live in the U.S. (or Europe, Japan, Australia)

According to the National Cancer Institute, about one out of every eight women born today in the U.S. will be diagnosed with breast cancer at some time during her life. Factors that can also increase a woman’s risk of developing breast cancer are: age, inherited changes in certain genes, a personal or family history of breast cancer, having dense breasts, beginning to menstruate before age 12, starting menopause after age 55, having a first full-term pregnancy after age 30, never having been pregnant, obesity after menopause, and alcohol use.

In the U.S., Breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer death for black women aged 45–64 years.    Here is a shocking fact-  black women are less likely than white women to get breast cancer, but black women have a higher risk of dying from breast cancer.  The death rate is 60% higher for Black women than white women.  Wow.  So what’s the story here?

 Breast cancer also tends to appear in black women at a younger age and in more advanced forms. Black women also tend to have more dense breast tissue, one of the risk factors for cancer.  Abnormalities in breast tissue are harder to see in a denser breast.  The National Cancer Institute reports that in the United States, breast cancer is diagnosed more often in white women than in African American/black, Hispanic/Latina, Asian/Pacific Islander, or American Indian/Alaska Native women.  Don’t become statistic ladies!  Go get those breasts examined so any abnormalities are detected and treated early.

If you live elsewhere in the world (Africa, Asia, South America)

Breast cancer is the top cancer in women worldwide and is increasing particularly in developing countries where the majority of cases are diagnosed in late stages.  Early detection and early access to treatment offers the best chance of survival.  Sadly, this is almost impossible for many women in the world.

I just read an amazing article in the New York Times about breast cancer in Uganda.  In many developing countries, women are unable to obtain treatment because of cost, transportation, availability of medicines and long waits for an appointment.   This article describes a woman seen in the waiting room of a hospital.  When the doctor passed through the room of despondent patients, this woman cried out and opened her blouse to show the doctor her ulcerated breast.  She got the doctor’s attention and received treatment that day.  The reporter writes, “It takes nerve for a patient anywhere to buttonhole a doctor and demand attention. More than nerve, it takes self-esteem and a sense of one’s rights as a patient.”

So here is a lesson from this brave woman.  We do no one a service by staying quiet.   Do not be too afraid to ask, do not be too shy to demand attention and do not put off an exam or treatment.   Extend a hand to your friends and family and advocate for them if they are unable to do so for themselves.

Regardless of where you live, your socio-economic status or race, the common denominator for all women is that the earlier the cancer is detected and treatment obtained, the greater your odds of survival.   I encourage all SuzyKnew readers to do breast self exams every month, get a clinical breast exam as part of your annual check up (when you get your PAP smear), and go get that mammogram.  If you have a strong family history of cancer or other risk factors, your doctor will have a specific plan for you.

 

Is It True Black Women Are More Likely To Die From Reproductive Health Issues Than Other Women?

Reproductive Health No Comments

Today, I attended the funeral of a friend who died from cervical cancer. She was young. She was educated. She ate right and led a Christian life. She was Black.

She also had regular pap smears.

All my friend’s good education, good eating, and praying couldn’t protect her from death.

Although I work in reproductive health, I’m not an expert on cervical cancer. So, I went home after the funeral after a long, late night train ride and at 1 am I googled cervical cancer. One site said Black women were twice as likely to die from cervical cancer than white women but more likely to get a diagnostic pap smear. Another site said African women were especially vulnerable to cervical cancer, compared to women from other developing countries.

Then I thought about breast cancer.  Well, we all know in the US, black women are less likely to get breast cancer but more likely to die from it.  We also know breast cancer is doing a lot of damage in the developing world – especially Africa. Then I moved on to thinking about abortions: which women get abortions and which ones die from botched abortions. The answer: black women. In the US, black women are more likely to get an abortion than all other women. Abortion is relatively safe in US but in most African countries, legal abortion is not widely available, resulting in many African women obtaining unsafe clandestine abortions and suffering from complications, including death.

Whether you live in LA, Lagos, or London, or, Memphis, Martinique or Mauritania if you’re a black woman, you’re more likely to die from these fairly common reproductive health issues.

Is anyone studying this issue? Does anyone care? That’s my next question.

Thoughts anyone…?

Learn To Trust Your Cervical Fluid! The Roses Of Fertility Awareness

Contraceptives Fertility Awareness Reproductive Health 2 Comments

It’s all good and fine to go on about learning to love my body and empowering myself to learn about my reproductive health, but how’s a woman to actually go about tracking her fertility? Remember that the goal is to NOT get pregnant?

To be honest, learning the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) is a work in progress. And, I’m still progressing. I’ve been off hormonal birth control for about four months, and I’m still using condoms every time. I’m learning to trust my body.

There are three ways of tracking your fertility: taking your basal body temperature, (your body temperature when you first wake up) looking at changes in your cervical fluid (think cum, but for the lady-folk), and the position and texture of your cervix. So, I’ve gotten real intimate real fast with my body.

Now, I’m going to break down the first sign (tracking your temperature) as best as I understand, but let me just say that if you’re actually considering trying out these shenanigans, you should read this book, and go to this website. These people know way more than I do.

The first way of tracking your body’s cycle is taking your temperature first thing in the morning. I mean, like, first thing. Like, you can’t get out of bed before you do this because you’ll mess it up. The great thing about this sign is that it’s really easy for your partner to be involved. My husband helps out by sticking the thermometer into my mouth at the first sound of the alarm (Okay, maybe after one snooze…). I lay there half asleep while he does all the work. Loving it so far, dear reader? Thought so. I downloaded this form to help me keep track of it all.  I started with only this sign because feeling up my cervix seemed intimidating.

Let me just say that those that said that it takes 21 days to form a habit are liars. Maybe if the habit was drinking wine or watching The Bachelor. It took me two months to get into the swing of tracking my temperature! It’s pretty interesting though; your temperature is relatively low (about 97ish degrees) during the first phase of your cycle, and then it shifts up a few degrees after you ovulate, or release an egg. When this happens, USE THE CONDOM! Control the births!

Now that I have the hang of it, it’s pretty great. Using the chart helps me see how long my cycles are. My first charted cycle was 36 days from the first day of one period to the first day of the next (long, but still normal, ladies!)! I would have had a complete pregnancy scare/heart attack had I not seen the shift in my body temperature! How empowering is that?

I’m at the point now where I’m loving feeling the changes in my cervix (look forward to that next post, y’all). I’m loving not putting hormones in my body, I love involving my partner, and slowly but surely, I’m learning to love my body.