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ASK AN OBGYN: How Important Is It To Use A Condom For Oral?

Ask an OBGYN 1 Comment

Question- How important is it to use a condom for oral?  Can I get herpes, HIV, or anything else? Does it make a difference if the oral is done on a girl or a guy?

******

This is a great question.

The short answer is YES!

It’s been hammered in our heads to use condoms for vaginal and anal sex, but oral?  To most people this is a confusing area.

If you have not seen your partner’s recent HIV and STI test results, YES, you should use male condoms and female condoms or another barrier method such as plastic wrap for the vagina.    STIs can be transmitted from the “giver” to the “getter” and back and forth and back and forth (you get the picture).   They can be transmitted through giving oral pleasure to the penis, vagina or anal area.  

But, you should know, in general, the risks of contracting the big uglies are less with oral sex, compared to vaginal and anal.    There are several reasons for this, but the most interesting is research showing that our saliva actually strips down viral proteins– Wow!    However, there are some viruses that love the mouth and some bacteria that thrive in the soft tissue in the throat.

Here is a short-list of the most common sexually transmitted infections that can be transmitted through oral sex:

HIV– According to the CDC, it’s hard to know the exact risk for HIV transmission through oral sex, but clearly the risk of getting HIV through oral sex is lower than vaginal or anal sex.  Your risk of contracting HIV (or any other STI) is higher if there is a sore, broken skin, or the presence of blood or ejaculate.  Oral sex should be avoided is one partner has bleeding gums, oral ulcers, genital sores, or another STI.

Herpes-  This is one that we should all be concerned about.  Herpes is extremely common, in fact between 65%-85% of adults will test positive for herpes by the time they reach age sixty.  That’s right, your grandma may test positive for herpes! Oral herpes (HSV-1) is what most folks call a “cold sore”.   Genital Herpes (HSV-2) is a sore found on, you guessed it, the genitals.   Here’s the problem- HSV-1 and HSV-2 are not polite enough to stay on their carpet squares and will spread to other areas.

Increasingly, doctors are seeing oral herpes (HSV-1) show up on the genitals and vice versa.

Gonorrhea-  Here’s another big one.   Remember when I said that some STI’s like to live in your throat?  Gonorrhea will camp out there, too, and unless you are tested, it can be spread very easily through oral sex.   It’s a very common STI and it’s on the rise.   The CDC estimates that 820,000 people in the U.S. get new gonorrhea infections each year and that less than half of these folks know they have the disease and receive treatment.  To make things even more interesting, gonorrhea is emerging as a super-bug and multi-drug resistant strains have been found in several different countries including the US.

HPV-  We know that HPV causes cervical cancer and is spread through vaginal sex, but new studies show a link with oral sex and throat cancer.   A recent report from the American Cancer Society shows that HPV is now a more common cause of throat and other oral cancers than tobacco.   Wow!   Check out this awesome infographic from Mount Sinai Hospital illustrating the risks of HPV from oral sex.

Hepatitis A, B, C-   Hepatitis is a chronic liver disease that can lead to cancer and even death.   There are vaccines for Hepatitis A and B, but not for C.   Hepatitis A is highly concentrated in  feces, and can be easily transmitted through oral sex involving anilingus.  Hepatitis B and C are viruses spread through blood and semen, and carry the same risk profile as HIV, so a lower risk compared to vaginal and anal sex, but still nothing to ignore.

Keep your oral pleasure sexy and keep it safe!

 

S. Brockman, RN, MPh.

 

ASK AN OBGYN is not meant to be a substitute for your doctor or health care provider. Contact your provider with any health issues you may have.

Anti Black Women Propaganda And Raising Quvenzhane… and Gabrielle

Opinion 1 Comment

From Aunt Jemima to Madea we all know the bad rap Black women get.  Sometimes it’s hard to recognize. We ingest it, don’t realize it, and end up feeding it to ourselves – and our daughters. But, sometimes we’re so paranoid that the person behind the study is “out to get Black Women” we lose the insightful message or don’t learn the lesson.

These thoughts came to mind after reading two blogs recently posted: Stop Exposing Yourself To Anti-BW Propaganda and  Your Feminism Ain’t Like Ours Because We Are Raising Quvenzhane. I admit to following the Black Women Will Never Get Married articles. My favorite was the ABC Nightline portrait, which got a lot of criticism.  Orah’s show a few years back had good story to tell on the subject, as well.  While these pieces were pretty depressing and negative now there is now a whole slew of articles and push-backs about how the studies got it all wrong.

Really? You mean Black women in the US have the same marriage rate as other women, if the numbers are just sliced and diced differently? Or, if you include – or exclude – different population sub-groups like widows and divorcees?  Articles like “Stop Exposing Yourself To Anti-BW Propoganda” say there is a conspiracy against Black Women and the authors of these nasty articles are out to get us.  Black women are really all great people, who can get married just like any other woman out there. We just need to remain positive and open to all types and races of men (quality men), and it will work out for us. Following the book Is Marriage For White People?,  The Clutch an e-magazine aimed at Black women, said we only do ourselves a disservice by clicking on the links and reading these types of anti-BW articles. “Can we please just not tune in, not Tweet about it…make it go away? If we watch and engage, these BS specials will keep being made,” a Clutch author implores.

While there might be a conspiracy out there to get us, not having an honest conversation about the  topic isn’t going to help. It will only help advance the conspiracy – if there is one – and weaken our ability to raise strong daughters. The Onion’s bold tweet calling Quvenzhane Wallis a cunt and the media’s unimpressive and forgettable  coverage of gold-medalist and all-around Olympic champion Gabrielle Douglas are evidence of this threat – not to mention all the tweets complaining about Rue in The Hunger Games being a black girl. While slavery, Jim Crow and Apartheid are over its legacies remain. To continue our advancement we must be strong and bold enough to reflect and discuss what the lingering effects and repercussions this terror has had on us and walk together to overcome it.

Ladies, let’s keep it positive.  And let’s keep it real.

 

ASK AN OBGYN: I Want To Use What Lady Docs Use For Their Lady Parts

Ask an OBGYN 1 Comment

I am sick of worrying about birth control and know I don’t want to get pregnant for at least 3-5 years.   What do lady doctors use? I mean they must know a thing or two about birth control and their lady parts, right?

 

Dear SuzyKnew Reader:

The IUD is one of the most popular methods among female physicians- the ultimate busy professional woman[3].

IUDs are safe, highly effective and low-maintenance. There are two types, hormonal and hormone-free.  Here are a few IUD facts:

*IUDs are classified as LARCs or long-lasting reversible contraceptive methods, meaning they work for a long time, but are reversible at anytime.  Many women report getting pregnant the first month or two after the IUD is removed.  Many women keep their IUDs in for the maximum time and then get a new one.

 

*Looking for a highly effective birth control method? The IUD ranks in at 99%.

 

*They are easy to start using, and immediately effective with no wait time.   An IUD can be inserted in a few minutes in your doctor’s office.  Pain associated with the procedure is highly individualized, but most patients experience mild cramping.

 

*No need to re-up your supply or obtain a script with the IUD.  Once it’s in you just check the strings every month and see your doctor once a year for your annual exam.

 

*It’s affordable and most insurance plans pay for the device, as well as insertion and removal.  Even if your plan doesn’t pay, you may look at the cost of the IUD over spread over several years of no cost for contraception (besides condoms for safe sex!).

 

*IUD use has increased among American women in all age groups and races over the past several years[1].  Maybe it has to do wit the increase in busy professional women.   It’s used by a lot of European women- 27% of women in Norway and 19% of women in France[2].

 

 

 

 

So if you are ready for a IUD, how do you choose which one?  There are two products available in the U.S.- Mirena and ParaGard.  I developed a little chart to help you.  Also, please refer to My Method, a great interactive tool that can help you find the best method for your lifestyle and needs.

 

 

Mirena ParaGard
Effectiveness in years Up to 5 years Up to 10 years
Contains hormones Releases progesterone only so it can be used by breastfeeding women and does not have side effects related to estrogen Does not contain hormones. The copper-filament makes it more effective.
Use by women with no children (nulliparous) Package insert says it’s intended for women with at least one child, although there is debate on this.  Best to go with your doctor’s advice. Package insert was changed in 2005 to allow for use among nulliparous women.
Side effect- bleeding Most women have lighter periods that can stop altogether. Many women have heavier periods for the first six months.  This may be a factor if you are anemic or are starting off with heavy periods.
Side effect- cramping Most women have little or no cramping. Many women experience longer, crampier periods on ParaGard.
Prevents STIs Nope Nope

 

 

Good luck.


[1] http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr062.pdf

[2] www.guttmacher.org/pubs/gpr/10/4/gpr100419.html

[3] Frank, E. Contraceptive use by female physicians in the United States.  Gynecol. 1999 Nov;94 (5 pt1):666-71

Is It True Men Appreciate Sweet Girls But Marry “Bitches”? ASK JANICE

Ask Janice 1 Comment

Dear Janice,

Is it true that men appreciate sweet girls but marry “bitches”?

Answer:

Let me put it this way: every bitch I know is married, and I (along with many of my very “sweet” friends) am single.

Okay, now let me back up and submit this disclaimer: I do not, have not, nor will I ever, support the notion of one woman calling another woman a “bitch”.  There are enough men in the world who do that for us, whether in certain rap songs, behind our backs when we reject a man’s advances, behind our back when we outperform our male colleagues on the job, and often to our face.

And let me also say that many of the qualities that are considered “bitchy” in women are admirable and even encouraged in men.  For example, a woman is a “bitch” if she is really assertive at work, barreling ahead without regard to the feelings of her co-workers, demanding respect, raises and promotions as her due.  When a man does the same thing, he’s considered “ambitious”, a “real go-getter”, yet a woman is a “bitch”.  So, yeah, I’m not a fan of the word.

That said, I have to admit to finding at least a little truth to this idea.  Granted, I’m not a man, and so I cannot speak for men when it comes to this issue.  But from what I’ve observed, while men may talk about wanting to meet that nice girl that they can take home to mom, when given a choice between Nellie Nice and Betty Bitch … they will end up with Betty Bitch every time.  And Nellie Nice will be left sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring, while Betty Bitch is getting fitted for her Vera Wang wedding gown.

Nice girls are supportive, and sweet.  Bitches are demanding and dramatic.  And guess what?  Demands get met and drama gets attention.

I think many men are attracted to those attributes they associate with nurturing.  And for many, the most nurturing person in their lives is their mother.  That fits with the popular notion that men seek women who are like their mothers to marry.  And this is where we get the disparity between what men say they want and what they really want.

You see, men tend to romanticize their moms as being sweet, Nellie Nice homemaker types (even when they work outside the home).  In reality, they are often more drill sergeant than Nellie Nice because they have to be.  Men may remember childhoods filled with homemade cookies and cuddly bedtime stories.  But usually, their overwrought and harried mother was juggling a full-time job and motherhood.  So, those cookies may have come out of the oven, but they weren’t from scratch.  And that bedtime story got read after an evening of her shouting orders, screaming demands and threats of beatings.  At least that’s how it was at my house.

Mind you, I’m not trying to say that mothers are bitches.  I’m a mom myself, and I’m so not a bitch.  But, some of the bitchy behavior that men are drawn to in their wives is very similar to their mom’s real behavior when they were growing up: bossy, dramatic, loud, cranky, demanding.  Face it: many men today grew up post-women’s movement and in homes where what Mom says goes.  And that’s the type of woman they end up marrying.

The romantic in me wants to believe that nice girls finish first.  However, the pragmatist in me doubts that’s true.  And while I have no intention of ever embracing a bitchy personality, I know that being too nice will only have me adding to my growing bridesmaid dress collection and never being the bride.  We nice girls need to “bitch” up at least a little bit if we ever want to make it down that aisle.  After all, we live in a world where, if you don’t demand it, you don’t get it.

“Honestly, Mom… Chances Are He Won’t Stay With You”: NYC’s Controversial Teenage Pregnancy Prevention Campaign

Opinion 2 Comments

Love – and lust – can lead us to do some unexpected things.  Like get pregnant! Surprise!

We’re especially vulnerable when we’re young.

So, to wipe out that pesky teenage pregnancy problem, the city of New York has blasted its streets with a new campaign designed to highlight the true costs of getting pregnant while you’re still a minor.   Using billboards and subway ads with bright banners stretched across mournful toddlers, the messages claim “Honestly, Mom… Chances Are He Won’t Stay With You. What Happens To Me?” or “Dad, You’ll Be Paying To Support Me For The Next 20 Years” and my personal fav “I’m Twice As Likely Not To Graduate From High School Because You Had Me When I Was A Teen.”

The effort is giving New Yorkers something to think about. It’s also giving the blog sphere and social media something to blog about. Commentaries are coming in like crazy with critics saying “shaming” pregnant teens and their partners doesn’t work while supporters state a comprehensive teen prevention program, which includes increasing access to contraception,  does work. Interestingly, because NYC has seen a reduction in teen pregnancy after providing contraception, especially emergency contraception, in schools, critics and supporters of NY’s new campaign are from both the political right and left.

The idea behind the campaign is while many teens know getting pregnant before graduating high school and getting a job can mess up your life, many think it won’t happen to them. So, providing some in-your-face sobering numbers can help teens take different actions.  

But, we hope this sobering article still keeps you lusting for love… (despite all the numbers)

while still keeping your GOOD sense!

SuzyKnew

Surprise! The Contraceptive Method That Is Increasingly Popular Among US Women

Contraceptives No Comments

When you think of your options regarding contraception you usually think of the pill – whether its the new one that let’s you go period-free or a more traditional one –  condoms and maybe the IUD and injectables.

And when you think of new contraceptive trends you may think of the patch or ring.  So, you probably wouldn’t guess the method that is increasingly popular among women in the United States is actually emergency contraception.  Also, known as “the morning after pill” and by brand names like Plan B, Postinor 1 and 2, and NorLevo, emergency contraception (EC) is taken up to 3 days after unprotected sex for maximum effectiveness.

EC was introduced in the States in the late 1990’s and at the time only 1 percent of women said they had ever tried them. Today, more than 11% of American women report having ever used the method.  This is triple the proportion of women who said they had used EC in the early 2000’s.

Introduced as an option to be used when contraception fails (read broken condom) or after unprotected sex (read the throes of passion got the best of you), most women report they have used EC only once or twice.  Women between 20 – 24 years are the most likely to have used EC; almost one in 4 women report using EC. For the full article click here. For more on emergency contraceptive by SuzyKnew go here.

The increasing popularity of the method may be a  result of improved access. You can get EC at a pharmacy without a prescription if you’re 17 years old. Also, advertising in women’s magazines, social media, etc may put this method increasingly in women’s hands.

Whatever the reason, it’s good to see women exploring their choices when it comes to contraception.

Valentines For Your Vagina And Other Not-So-Sexy Valentine Ideas

Opinion No Comments

Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day yet again.  That once-a-year day devoted to love, flowers, and of course, chocolate.

We hope your day is full of all of this (love, flowers, and chocolate). But, chances are you’ll run into a few not so sexy and somewhat creepy Valentine ideas, as well. Hopefully, these rude encounters won’t happen to you personally or won’t take all the good feelings out of  your day.  Maybe they’ll even put a smile on your face or make you chuckle.

Here are a few Valentine ideas we found not-so-sexy.

1. Valentines for your vagina aka vajazzling or the panty gram. Vajazzling (click here for the official site) is putting glitter and/or jewels all around the trim. It can be tastefully done and quite sexy.  But, the key is to keep it minimal and suggestive. If you go hog wild, you can end up looking like a 5-year old who has lost control over her sparkles and glue.

Below is a picture from Sendapantygram.com, featured in Cosmopolitan and other magazines. This nifty service allows you or your man to send  a skimpy panty thong as a promise of what is yet to come.   Talk about not so subtle.  And, we’re sure most of us would look adorable in this panty, too.  For those ladies who can hoist this string over their buttocks (let alone their thighs), they would have a cute little heart around the ole cha cha. N-i-c-e…

sendapantygram

 

 

2.  A price tag for your vagina.  Ever wonder how much your vagina costs? According to Jezebel, it costs $218. That is on Valentine’s Day.  The online group, famous for provocative feminist thought, offered this very romantic article on how much men budget for Valentine’s Day in hopes of doing the watusi with you after the Valentine date and presents.   And, yes, the realpolitick group found that it costs a man more if his love object is single.  The man will get off paying only $180 for his Valentine’s Day romp if he’s in a committed relationship – but not married – with the woman. A married woman’s vagina costs more.

3. Cheap gifts. Don’t you just hate cheap Valentine’s Day gifts?  Well, lucky for us there is a dollar store that tries to give advice on how to buy a “better” cheap Valentine’s gift. For example, the ad suggests that a chocolate rose in a box or a live flowering plant would be a lot better than a “bad choice” such as anti-wrinkle patches or butt aid. Go figure.

Bad valentine's

Ladies, we hope your Valentine’s Day is filled with friends, family, and special loved ones.  Valentine’s Day is special and it’s for everyone. Enjoy it. But, if you do have a romantic evening planned, get sexy suggestions for your Valentine night from ASK JANICE: Six Steps For A Hot Valentine’s Day Date.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

The Best (And The Worst) Of SuzyKnew In 2012

Opinion No Comments

What were SuzyKnew readers’ favorite articles in 2012?

Experience Female Orgasm got the most attention followed by Painful Vagina Cake.   We don’t know if it was the titles or the topics, but it certainly got you talking. We also hope the articles gave you a new kind of awareness of female pleasure  – and pain.

Readers also wanted to know in 2012 what to do if their man’s manhood is simply too big.  What If He’s Just Too Big? got lots of views.  Obviously, more women have this problem than we realize. A lot of women I know want a man who is “well-endowed.” They’re often in search of the elusive “big dick” or BD as we started saying for short. Some women I know will only approve a man as “bedroom worthy”  after getting a phone picture of his rod. You all know who you are…

But, the popularity of the article shows there are a lot of women out there who are too shy to confess that they really prefer to have a man whose stuff is a lot more manageable.  Not all women want a BD.

Do Nice Men Who Talk Nasty Really Get Girls Into Bed? did pretty well, too. We had  confessions from readers stating that the right kind of nasty talk can be very nice.

There were several articles on vibrators including the History of vibrators, which didn’t get too much traction. Neither did  the contest for a Trojan vibrator  – Trojan’s new product line.  Maybe a lot of you knew that Trojan vibrators weren’t so new.  But, the recent vibrator article announcing LELO’s presence on SuzyKnew’s site did get some love. Readers must know that LELO is only sold via the internet, clicking to get more information. In contrast,  Trojan vibrators are sold widely in  drugstores and places like Walmart, passing on the article.  Ladies, having options is always good.

Very unpopular were What Do Women In Washington, DC, Nigeria and Rwanda Have In Common?, discussing the high rate of HIV among us and What Do You Mean Infidelity Can Be Physically Harmful To Your Healthl?   Maybe the titles were too long or poorly worded.  Or, maybe you just didn’t want to hear the bad news you already know about.  Saying to yourselves, “So what? We already know this.”

Dear SuzyKnew reader we hope you enjoyed reading us in 2012 and we promise to continue bringing you articles on sexual health and sexual pleasure, making SuzyKnew a unique place for sex, sizzle, and GOOD sense!

SuzyKnew Brings You LELO With Love

Opinion No Comments

Just in time for your Valentine’s Day plans, SuzyKnew brings you LELO luxury vibrators.

LELO, a Swedish company established in 2003, is famous for transforming the look, feel and function of vibrators. LELO vibrators feel more like real skin. The company also offers other products to enhance your intimate life, including silk intimate apparel, bedroom accessories, massage oils, and more.

Now you can order LELO while reading your SuzyKnew articles!

Click on the LELO image to the right to order your LELOs before February 7th to have them by Valentine’s Day.

LELO Valentine's Day
From LELO with Love…