Even though I try to practice gratitude year-round, I think it’s well and good that we take a special day every year to pause and give thanks for all the good in our lives. That’s why I’m a huge fan of Thanksgiving!

But, as much as I love spending time with family and friends over a delicious meal, I’m also pretty thankful for sexual health and pleasure! And y’all know me. Ain’t no shame in my game! That’s why I’ve put together Sophia’s Grown & Sexy Thanksgiving List! Feel free to add to this in the comment section below.

1. Smart Men – Smart men are sexy! In my younger, wilder days, I could put up with dumb but cute guys. Not anymore, though. A cute smile, a stiff dick and a nice ass won’t get you very far these days. I need some stimulating conversation and not just about sex. If you can’t intelligently converse (not conversate, which is NOT a word) about current events, local politics or something deeper than the latest reality show drama, then I can’t be bothered. You must be able to get into my head before you can get into my panties. I am thankful for smart men.
2. Hard Bodies – That said, I ain’t mad at the brothas who got it going on body-wise! We women are just as visual as men. And I’m old-school. I like a man’s hardness to compliment my soft curves. (Shut up! It’s not fat! We’re calling it curves, all right?) While we are visual, women tend to be more forgiving of men’s bodies. And I think that’s a good thing. We still find our Boo’s beer belly sexy and don’t mind when he’s put on a few pounds. But we ain’t blind, either. We can appreciate a six-pack, big biceps and thick, muscular thighs, too. Phew! My mouth is watering just thinking about it! I am thankful for hard bodies!
   The Hooded Lady – Okay, that’s just a euphemism for our crown jewel, the clitoris! This fascinating part of the female’s anatomy has twice as many nerve endings as the penis (8,000+) and is only there for one purpose: sexual pleasure. Unlike the penis, which also serves as a liquid waste portal and reproduction organ, our clitoris serves no other biological function than our pleasure. How cool is that? It’s like God, in his infinite wisdom, decided that since women have to endure menstruation, the pain of childbirth and 30% less pay, we deserve our very own personal pleasure center. And so He gave each of us a clitoris. I am thankful for the clitoris!
3. The G Spot – For so many women, this much-hyped spot is an elusive, almost mythical body feature. Much scientific and sociological study has been made of the G Spot, yet many women have yet to experience its amazing power. Keep looking, ladies. It’s there, somewhere on the top wall of your va-jay-jay. I suspect that it’s actually a continuation of the clitoris, which goes so much further than the little tip we see on the outside of our bodies (think of that visible part as just the tip of the iceberg). At any rate, a properly stimulated G Spot will send you to the moon and have you speaking in tongues. I am so thankful for the G Spot!
4. Multiple Orgasms – Sure, there are some gifted men who experience multiple orgasms in quick succession. But they are few and far between, and are often experienced in some form of tantric sex. Trust me, your average Joe ain’t nuttin’ three or four times in a row without some serious recovery time in between. Multiple orgasms are another Godly gift to women. I know that not every woman is multi-orgasmic. But every woman has the potential to be. And that’s the important part. There are few things more beautifully spiritual than riding wave after wave of ecstasy without pause! I am thankful for multiple orgasms.
5. The One-Eyed Beast – Dick. Peter. Call it what you like. As a devoutly hetero woman, I have a strong and deep appreciation for that glorious member attached to the male body: the penis. Like the TLC song says, “Two inches or a yard, rock hard or if it’s sagging”, I love the penis in its many shapes, sizes and states. And while no woman is exactly comfortable with really tiny ones or really big ones, most dicks are just the right size and perfectly made! Honestly, give me a smaller guy with the right moves over an enormous one who just lies there any day! Big, small, circumcised or uncut, I love ‘em all! I am thankful for penises.
   O.B. – As much as I love penises, I don’t always have access to one. Thank goodness for my B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend)! Woman-centered sex toys have been around for thousands of years. But these days, thanks to the internet and a growing demand among women, the sex toy industry has grown by leaps and bounds. Now, there’s something for everyone out there and at reasonable prices, too. And they’re not just for lonely, horny women anymore either! More and more couples have discovered the joys of playing with toys together. And I love it! Every woman should have at least three or four reliable B.O.B.s in her nightstand drawer. Oh and tons of batteries! I am thankful for vibrators, dildos and other sex toys.
6. Safe Sex – In the 30+ years since the AIDS epidemic began, condom use has dramatically increased in general. But current statistics are troubling: there has been a noticeable decline in condom use, especially among young people. Too many women of color globally are being infected. And women of the African diaspora are disproportionately more likely to become infected with HIV/AIDS, despite all efforts to the contrary. Access to barrier methods and other forms of contraception varies worldwide. In the United States, we have it pretty good. However, the political tide has shifted and it’s getting harder for low-income women to have access. Safe sex is necessary for both our health and our pleasure. And ladies, in this area we cannot rely on men to protect us. It’s on us. Practice safe sex … ALWAYS! Educate yourself. Arm yourself. Protect yourself. Save yourself. Love yourself. I am so thankful for safe sex!
7. Good Sex – Let’s face it: not all sex is created equal. It’s not always pretty and it certainly ain’t always good. But I love good sex. I appreciate good sex. I want everyone to have good sex! The necessary ingredients for good sex are self-love, self-respect, and a healthy relationship with your partner which includes respect, friendship and trust. Our biggest and most important sex organ is our brain. Women, especially, have to “get their minds right” to truly enjoy sex. If you love and respect yourself, you won’t engage in any activity that will ultimately harm you. That’s half the battle right there. The other half is your partner. If he doesn’t respect you, he won’t make any effort towards your enjoyment. If you don’t trust him, you’ll never really let go and have fun. And if, regardless of your “relationship status”, the two of you aren’t friends first, then it will be hard to reach the highest heights of ecstasy together. But when all of the ingredients are in place, you can rest assured that it’ll be all good! I am thankful for good sex.
8. Head – Yep, I’m gonna wrap up my list with good, old-fashioned oral sex. I recently heard some great advice from a man. He said that the best way for women to ensure fantastic sex every time is to get the man to agree to one thing: if he ain’t strokin’, he needs to be lickin’! Of course, this elicited cheers and whistles from all women present. But, I think he might be on to something. And I also believe the reverse is true. I haven’t met a man yet who would turn down even a mediocre blow job. It’s quite simple, really: we all like being on the receiving end of some good oral loving, right? And for the most part, we all like pleasing our partners, right? So it stands to reason that if everyone agrees up front to offer up a little mouth and tongue action to their partner, everyone will be happy. It’s a win-win situation! So embrace the joys of oral sex, both as a giver and a receiver! I am so thankful for oral sex!  So there you have it: my list of things for which I am grateful. Please feel free to add your list in the comments below. In the meantime, have a safe and happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
   ~Sophia

Originally published November 24, 2015