Author Archives: SuzyKnew!

About SuzyKnew!

SuzyKnew! is dedicated to improving the sexual and reproductive health and sexual pleasure of women of color.

All this buzz, but what’s the RH Bill really on?

Filipina Gal No Comments
SuzyKnew

Last year, I talked about how during Valentine’s day, the Philippine Department of Health (DOH) gave away free condoms with roses as a way to advance the family planning program and the passing of the Reproductive Health (RH) Bill – apparently sacrilegious in the eyes of many Filipinos due to the influence of the Catholic Church.

But why is it so controversial? You be the judge, and check out this passage from Reproductive health bill: Facts, fallacies. Kinda dated, but still good:

“Coverage of RH. (1) Information and access to natural and modern family planning (2) Maternal, infant and child health and nutrition (3) Promotion of breast feeding (4) Prevention of abortion and management of post-abortion complications (5) Adolescent and youth health (6) Prevention and management of reproductive tract infections, HIV/AIDS and STDs (7) Elimination of violence against women (8) Counseling on sexuality and sexual and reproductive health (9) Treatment of breast and reproductive tract cancers (10) Male involvement and participation in RH; (11) Prevention and treatment of infertility and (12) RH education for the youth.

Strengthening of Popcom. The existing Population Commission shall be reoriented to promote both natural and modern family planning methods. It shall serve as the central planning, coordinating, implementing and monitoring body for the comprehensive and integrated policy on reproductive health and population development.

Capability building of community-based volunteer workers. The workers shall undergo additional and updated training on the delivery of reproductive healthcare services and shall receive not less than 10-percent increase in honoraria upon successful completion of training.

Midwives for skilled birth attendance. Every city and municipality shall endeavor to employ an adequate number of midwives and other skilled attendants.

Emergency obstetrics care. Each province and city shall endeavor to ensure the establishment and operation of hospitals with adequate and qualified personnel that provide emergency obstetrics care.

Hospital-based family planning. Family planning methods requiring hospital services like ligation, vasectomy and IUD insertion shall be available in all national and local government hospitals.

Contraceptives as essential medicines. Reproductive health products shall be considered essential medicines and supplies and shall form part of the National Drug Formulary considering that family planning reduces the incidence of maternal and infant mortality.

Reproductive health education. RH education in an age-appropriate manner shall be taught by adequately trained teachers from Grade 5 to 4th year high school. As proposed in the bill, core subjects include responsible parenthood, natural and modern family planning, proscription and hazards of abortion, reproductive health and sexual rights, abstinence before marriage, and responsible sexuality.

Certificate of compliance. No marriage license shall be issued by the Local Civil Registrar unless the applicants present a Certificate of Compliance issued for free by the local Family Planning Office. The document should certify that they had duly received adequate instructions and information on family planning, responsible parenthood, breast feeding and infant nutrition.

Ideal family size. The State shall encourage two children as the ideal family size. This is neither mandatory nor compulsory and no punitive action may be imposed on couples having more than two children.

Employers? responsibilities. Employers shall respect the reproductive health rights of all their workers. Women shall not be discriminated against in the matter of hiring, regularization of employment status or selection for retrenchment. Employers shall provide free reproductive health services and commodities to workers, whether unionized or unorganized.

Multimedia campaign. Popcom shall initiate and sustain an intensified nationwide multimedia campaign to raise the level of public awareness on the urgent need to protect and promote reproductive health and rights.”

Personally, I think it’s about time this happens. Alright – moment of silence to reflect on how awesome this is.

What do you mean, why?!

The Philippines is just about one of the most overpopulated countries in the world. It’s the 12th most populous city, according to NationMaster.com. Excuse me, cramming more than 100 million people in 300 thousand sq. km.?! The US has more than 300 million people, but over 9 million sq. km. in land area!!!! Alright, granted that’s not really the best argument, but seriously, think about it. If you take into account that the poorest of the poor and about 30% of the population of the Philippines are located in rural areas who depend on agriculture for their livelihood, just how much land can you farm? Probably smaller than a US backyard, and how much does that earn you? I just can’t wrap my head around that. (Plus, rural folk usually have waaay more sex and more kids.)

Limited resources and all, you can say we’re saved by the thousands upon thousands of Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) who go abroad yearly – often never to return. And that speaks a lot about the country’s ability to feed its people and keep them happy. This also results to brain drain. And worsens the economic situation.

Lack of the RH Bill is horrendous for living conditions (have you ever slept in a tiny room with 10 people?! Okay, exaggerating, but it’s been known to have happened). And horrible for reproductive health. Nefarious for education (not enough money to fund schools and programs due to the sheer number of kids). And propagates ignorance. Just how bad is it? See Manila: A megacity where the living must share with the dead.

Yep, we’re in dire need for some change in this end.

My Next Love Will be a Man from the Civil Rights Movement

Opinion No Comments
Civil Rights

In honor Black History month and Valentine’s Day, I am reflecting on what a married friend recently shared with me in confidence. She said her next love would have to be a man who participated in the US Civil Rights Movement during the 1960’s. She mused about divorcing her husband – the father of her only child – a man who is artistic, unique and a genius mathematically – and finding a truer, deeper love. The qualities her husband possesses provided her the love she needed in her late 20’s; but years later, my friend, who came to the US as a young girl, finds it’s not the basis of the lasting love she is in need of to take her through the years. Today, she needs a love that will excite her to her very core and have deep and true meaning, like the love provided by a man who has risked his reputiation, livelihood and very life for the justice of his people and others.

What she means is what does today’s male activist risk by going out and occupying Wall Street? Yes, the cause is noble, and we at SuzyKnew! support it. But, most likely the man is occupying Wall Street because he lost is job and/or house and has nothing more to risk. And, if he does have a job, in all probability he will not lose it or his life because of his activism. The Civil Rights Leaders of the 1960s put everything on the line to change soceity. Because of them, Blacks, other minorities and whites from working class and ethnic backgrounds have more rights and freedom. For my friend, only a man who could do that could provide real, true love to a woman that would touch her very core… forever.

But, Civil Rights Leaders are now in their late 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s, slowly dying out. Maybe she will be moved by a man who participated in the Arab Spring! These men put their reputations and lives on the line… maybe they can provide a true, deep love, too!

Valentine’s Day: One-Yr Anniversary with Gabonese Pilot

Opinion 2 Comments

This Valentine’s Day it will be one year since I collided into the Gabonese pilot in a tropical 3-star hotel in a small West African country. We only met face-to-face that one time. But we have spent a year chatting by skype and email, keeping each other mutually amused and waiting for more. Even though he’s married, I continue to answer his skype chats and emails filled with ridiculous personal questions – sometimes fun, sexy talk – but giving him false hope and promises of more. And we all know I don’t intend to do anything more. On his end, the Gabonese pilot had said that he came to visit me in the States several times and I always found a reason not to show up. Who cares? The guy is married. He must expect to get played and teased by women. Who am I to disappoint?

So, do I have another dead-end relationship heading into Valentine’s Day?

Yeah. So, what’s the big deal? It’s a quick thrill and escape from the day-to-day ho hum life can bring.

Ah! But now the challenge is how to fit in my new, meaningless fun relationships with the pilot. Over these last few months, I have managed to pick up a few new male admirers. I have caught the eye and sparked the interest of the retail guy at the local electronics store. A farmer who sits next to me my agricultural extension class has become awfully chummy. And then there is the smooth dancer I met in Africa who chats with me every other day. And what do you know – they’re all single.

So, I’ll have to chose where I spend my time this Valentine’s Day…

Any suggestions?

Ladies, Are You Using Condoms Correctly?

Contraceptives No Comments

Okay. 2012 is still new. We still have time to get things right. What’s more thrilling is that we have time to prepare for Valentine’s Day and the little “get togethers” leading up to the big day, right?.

Right?

This is a great time to make sure you’re using condoms properly. I mean, thanks to SuzyKnew and other sites, you got your condom phone app.

Now, you can make sure you’re using them correctly. An article from About.com (a good source for contraception methods and feedback) shows you how!

Celebrate Martin Luther King Day! No More Abusive Relationships

Opinion No Comments

Today in the US, we celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, the famous African-American civil rights leader. The holiday is celebated in other countries as well. Dr. King stood for equality and used non-violence to fight for equality among races and all people.

Use this day to reflect on how you promote civil rights and oppose abuse of all kinds.

Stop accepting abusive relationships; love yourself and seek out healthy and loving sexual relationships.

For more information, see Dr. Martin Luther King’s life and legacy on Wikipedia.

It’s a New Year: Should I Fly Away From the Gabonese Pilot?

Opinion No Comments

Well, it’s a new year. Yep – 2012. Should I fly away from the Gabonese Pilot? If you remember, I met him last year on Valentine’s Day in a small West African country.

Then I found out he’s married. But, we’ve been in touch ever since. I mean, why sit home bored when you can text, skype, and chat your way to pleasure, right? Well, then I started feeling a little silly when I remembered the the article I read a few months ago: “Ladies, Stop the Sexting.”

I mean it hadn’t gotten that far but I did start thinking what is this guy telling other poeple about me. Any suggestions out there?

The History of the Vibrator: In the Next Room

Reproductive Health No Comments
vibrator

vibratorWhen I was a little girl, I loved to wander through airport shops and was always bewildered by small vibrators I saw on sale showing women using the device to massage their backs. Eventually, I grew up and learned what women were really using vibrators for….

But my childhood shopping experiences prepared me for the play In Next Room, by Sarah Ruhl, who is a 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Drama finalist. The play takes place in the late 19th century, and centers around women who were given electric vibratory massage for symptoms of hysteria in the doctor’s office. Tightly corseted, modest ladies experienced a strong sensual and sexual awakening while in the next room their husbands waited for them. The “vibrating sensations” affected their relationships with their husbands and others.

Although the play makes fun of Victorian conventions and sexual naiveté, even today we may find ourselves separating our true sensual feelings from ourselves and/or the man we love. Luckily, we don’t have to see a doctor to get a vibrator and can use them for self-love or couple-love.

This month SuzyKnew is pleased to feature My FixSation, the ultimate vibrator for couples.

Got Condoms?

Contraceptives HIV/AIDS 1 Comment

Don’t you just hate it when you can’t find a store that sells condoms when you need one? Well, go to this site iCondom and download your FREE app to locate condom stores in your area. Enter your own favorite store and join iCondom and MTV in reducing the transmission of HIV/AIDS by making the world’s largest condom map. Ladies, help them make this app reach everyone and enter your international location.

ASK JANICE: The 3 “T’s” of Seduction

Ask Janice No Comments
seduction

seductionDear Janice:

I’ve been with my guy ever since we were 17 years old. We are 24 now, and married. He was my first and my only, and taught me everything I know. Our sex life is mutually satisfying, but lately I’ve been a little bored. I’ve been fantasizing about adding some spice to our sex life, like a little bondage or a little rough play. But, I’m afraid my husband won’t be open to it. He’s always taken the lead in bed and might not appreciate my suggestions. How can I spice up our sex life without freaking my husband out?

Janice responds…
Honey, who doesn’t love a little slap and tickle? I don’t know what it is about a couple of slaps on the tush that gets us going. Is it the sound of the smack against the flesh? Or is it the stinging bite of pain that does it? Phew! Whatever it is, it sure does make for a fun time.

And I’m all for a little bondage, too! The excitement of being restrained while being hopelessly aroused feeds into every girl’s fantasy of being taken, of being swept away! There’s just something about surrendering that is just plain ol’ sexy!
And I can certainly flip the script, too! Being the one in control while your man is tied up and helpless is hot, hot, hot!!! Oh, the things you can do with a set of furry handcuffs, an ice cube and a cat-o-nine-tails!

But I can understand your reluctance to introduce this kind of play to your hubby. After all, he’s always been the teacher to your student, the Henry Higgins to your Eliza Doolittle. But, listen. There are definitely ways you can get him on board with your new ideas.

You just have to remember the three “T’s” of seduction: timing, tone and tension. You can’t introduce new ideas to your man when he’s tired or watching the game. No, you’ve got to time it for when he’s in a frisky mood himself. He’ll be more open to new games of pleasure, especially when it’s his pleasure.
Watch your tone, as well. If you’re not usually the sex kitten type, don’t go all whispery and weird on him now. But, keep your tone low and non-threatening … and flirtatious. Let him hear the arousal in your voice. Say things to make him feel desired and sexy. Don’t go overboard, though. Be subtle.
Finally, you’ve got to keep the sexual tension high. Work your normal magic and get him really aroused. But delay his satisfaction just long enough to have him begging for release. You want him ready and willing to do your bidding. And believe me, if you keep that tension high, he will be literally eating out of your hand.

Then, you make your move.

Maybe you bring out a pair of your pantyhose and tell him how sexy it would be if he tied one of your wrists to the bed. Or maybe, when he’s at the point where he’s begging for it, you ask flirtatiously what he would do if you were a “bad girl and said no”? Would he “spank you”? Trust me, he’ll get the hint. Then, you tell him honestly what you want. Remember, he’s at the peak of arousal and pretty much will agree to anything. (This is also a good time to ask for those diamond earrings you’ve been wanting.) He’ll probably be excited by your initiative and thrilled to try something new. And you get the satisfaction of finally teaching him something.

Enjoy!

Send your personal question to AskJanice@suzyknew.com